Citation: Slavor. "A Huge Energy Ball: An Experience with Anadenanthera peregrina (exp107551)". Erowid.org. Nov 7, 2020. erowid.org/exp/107551
Tell Me What You Think... I Know I'm Stupid
Sorry if my english isn't thaaat good. Not my native language, hope u understand it anyway.
It was the first time taking DMT for me, and psychedelics too. Never did shrooms or LSD so I did not want too reach to high and thought I get going with 8 seeds.
I took 8 seeds of my baggy and put them in a heated pan. They only took about 45sec until the first popped. I slowly took one after another out of the pan. The first 3 times I found it easy to take off the shell and put the light brown/green inside in a bowl. After the third seed they kind of fell apart after trying to take the shell off. Somehow I managed to get at least 3 more cores.
My setting was pretty good this evening. It was about 11 p.m. as I started meditating with the seeds next to me. But my heart pumped heavily and I couldnt focus on the silence in my room. So I thought just getting started. I put the crushed seeds (in which I added weedash, since I got no limestone and left it 1h drying). But because I got no mortar the crushed seeds werent that small. Looked kind of like crushed cereals.
I put one long line on my desk and got a thing to sniff. I was standing about 1 minute in front of this line. Nervous as fuck. I couldn't believe I was doing this since I never wanted to sniff but found no tutorial smoking them right. So I smiled a last time and started sniffing the seeds.
Right after sniffing: At first I felt no pain. Just this awful feeling that I got huge seeds in my nose. I pulled up my nose a few times as I started to feel to throw up. But not because of my stomach, just because there were some seeds between nose and mouth. I coughed and coughed to get them out but they sticked at their place. I felt sooooo weird. But there was just a little burning.
About 10 Minutes after sniffing: My body felt heavy and after cleaning my nose, I didnt feel like puking anymore. The lights seemed to shine brighter than before.
After 30 Minutes: I still didn't feel much different. Just a little euphoric but no visuals neither open nor closed eyed. After this disappointing experience I smoked a pipe of weed. Everything was pretty chilled and I watched Big Bang Theory.
The actual trip:
About 1 hour after the sniffing I layed down in bed and wanted to sleep. I turned off all lights and stared at the ceiling. As I first closed my eyes I was feeling/seeing a huge energy ball. It was like seeing like a bat. I was not seeing but feeling its edge. I was feeling like being just a spirit. I was amazed of this energy ball. Then I recognised me eyes were open. I was entering this world open eyed. Like I was sleeping open eyed... it was just pitch black in my room. And out of nowhere a voice started shouting at me. I couldn't really understand what the female voice said but as soon as I tried to listen closer the energy ball started to suck me closer to it. My mind started saying (I was just watching this whole scene and my mind was completely split from me) 'Let me get in! Let me get in!'... And I saw a body entering this portal energy ball. The next scene was getting closer to the female voice that was still shouting out for me. I saw a white stage in the middle of blackness. The stage looked like the simplest one of 'Super Smash Bros Meele or Brawl'... I started seeing this woman flying above the stage. As I was flying closer to this voice I started understanding what she said:
You need to listen. I will guide you. You understand. LISTEN!' She seemed aggressive and scared me a little but I felt like I need to do what she wants me to. She was holding a scepter in her hand and had angel-like wings. I was just being conscious. As I started 'seeing' this energy ball again. We both seemed to have been ported right in front of it. She was still aggressive dominant and said 'here is your destiny. Look closely!!'
A mirror appeared. I saw a boy that looked kind of like me just with brown hair (I'm blond) and without a face. He said: 'Sure I'm leaving the animal realm and will be a godness.' the mirror reflection seemed pure arrogant but I still started to smile happily in real life (in my bed). Then the mirror broke and the woman started to disappear. I started to lose connection to this world. Then I started to feel my body again COMPLETELY. My toes started to feel numb. Then the feeling went over to my legs. As soon as it hit my upper body, breathing was getting really hard. My whole body started to convulse. I tried to relax but it felt like a huge yacht was swimming THROUGH me (I use this picture because that was what I saw is I tried to identify this feeling). My body parts started doing spasms.
And then a thing happened I didnt understand at all. My leg moved up in RL and started hearing a fart sound. But it sounded so surreal and I knew I didnt fart. I just thought: wtf? That doesnt fit in this whole experience...' Right after I heard a sound just like out a laser cannon, and after this I felt like the floor was shaking. Like someone was in my flat and walking loudly through it. I heard my door getting closed (but not opened?) I felt like some robbers were in my room. I tried not to open my eyes but needed to. Nobody was in my dark room. I did a reality check. (Counted my fingers) and tried to enter the visuals again but couldnt connect anymore. The next thing I remembered waking up in the morning.
As I was meditating I was asking what will happen to me after I die. If I will continue being born in this world? Or what my destiny will be. But the arrogant way the mirrorself explained his destiny scared me a little.
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