Citation: Anon123. "Lost in Yopo: An Experience with Anadenanthera peregrina (exp107198)". Erowid.org. Nov 5, 2020. erowid.org/exp/107198
I did approximately 10 Seeds or more of Yopo, the largest volume I had ever done before for sure. I didn't measure it out, I just know it was a very large amount.
I didn't measure it out, I just know it was a very large amount.
I know this is real yopo and not spiked because I made it myself from scratch and ordered the ingredients from legit online sellers. I would just like to add that I have done yopo several times before this just never in such a large dose. I had been doing it during lunch and every night before bed for a few days before this happened.
During my one hour lunch break I decided to snort the rest of my yopo. I made an enormous line out of it and snorted as much as I could. A friend offered to finish off the rest for me and I gladly accepted. My head started to get extremely heavy and then eventually my heart started racing and the weight on my head faded as the effects started to kick in. Colors became extremely vibrant without becoming bright. I looked at my phone and there was a simplistic cartoonish look to everything that usually wasn't there. My wallpaper fascinated me much more than usual. It's a high res picture of cosmos and I was able to see it with extreme depth. I looked up to the people around me. Their faces looked very different. There was a certain roundness applied to each of their faces. I had a rush of nausea and almost vomited but made it through.
During this period my nose was dripping and I was spitting profusely. Eventually I decided I wouldn't be able to go back to work with no problems as planned and had my friend walk me home. Walking was surprisingly manageable but there was a weird depth to the world around me and colors were still extremely vibrant. These are the usual effects of yopo and are generally what are expected in a Yopo trip. I got home and dropped everything, undressed and masturbated... I could feel an overwhelming hit of euphoria as I did this and ejaculating made for an brief nice sedative effect.
This is when things got a little wild and I must apologize for missing a lot of the insanity for quite a bit I fail to remember but I think I captured the truly interesting parts, however please understand that at this point there was no reason for me to be undergoing the following effects, it had been more than 30 minutes since I had snorted the Yopo but I was calmed by the notion that it was no problem cause it was probably going to end in a matter of moments. Naked, I decided to use the bathroom and sit down on the toilet seat. The plants and vines on the shower curtain looked almost lifelike and there was an overwhelming sense of falling into a different place each time I studied something new. I ventured out to my living room on all fours and the floor looked like a plane, so I would lay flat and revel at it, and then jump back up. Then I sat down in a chair that had a space between it and the wall. I sat with my back facing the wall and then leaned backwards. It felt as though my upper half had fell through another dimension. I then pulled my arms back and they felt as though they were free falling into some far off distance and my body was all that hung on to them. Then I felt some kind of overwhelming force pushed my body backward against the wall. As if all of gravity had shifted and I would lie against the wall. This quickly faded however I went through this again in the kitchen and then it was over. In addition to this I would scramble around like an animal, bewildered by different crazy effects that would be applied to different things. For example I would lay on my shoulders and put my feet up and it tripped me out to see my legs in a way as if they were standing on me. I would walk on all fours quit a bit and every time I looked down and saw the world upside down I would just stare fascinated at the shift in perspective.
Libido was dramatically enhanced. I don't have any sexual issues but I have taken aphrodisiacs and I must say, I literally turned into a chimpanzee jerking off and I went through all the primal layers of being a human. I saw one of my sisters Victoria Secret magazine and started masturbating to the girl on the cover while aiming for her face. I then starting humping a large variety of things including my couch... I apologies for the TMI but the enhanced libido really is something else...
the enhanced libido really is something else...
It was like losing control of my body to my primal instincts. Watching as my body and mind went from a simple, crazy, primal animal and then develop back to a complex and reserved human. But before I was totally calm, I went through an odd panic. By now it was about 2 hours since I had snorted the Yopo, I was freaking out. I felt as though everything was a lie, all information and everything I knew was constantly changing so to me truth, and a stable definition of it didn't exist. Things shifted so fast that I was in a constant state of confusion and somewhat panicked. During this panic I came to the conclusion that this is what Infinity, or at least one way of seeing it was. A piece of information that was extremely unstable and could never hold a value, however at the same time was capable of replicating infinite values of different dimensions.
This however was the only lesson learned. I eventually called a friend, a much more experienced tripper than I and he explained that I just took some drugs, and that there would be closure, even though I felt as though all of life was stuck in an infinite cycle, and I was stuck in eternity. I was worried that I had either gone completely mad and was some retard running around like an animal, or that if there really was closure, I would lose my identity and I would go to a person that I wasn't. I was panicked that I was stuck in eternity and contemplated getting my gun and shooting myself or taking plenty of aspirin tabs to end it. I convinced myself that was just crazy however I would watch the clock and noticed it took what felt like a day for 20 minutes to pass. What felt like hours of conversation, panic, etc was minuscule time. My friend then sent me an audio file of Tibetan Throat singing of the Bo tradition and I was able to start relaxing. I felt like these people singing were great elders that had deep understanding of the eternity I had been sent through, and somehow the somewhat looping/congruent sounds they made were more comforting to me than the changing environments I experienced as I walked around. I drank water and chewed oat snacks until I felt somewhat coherent in my thoughts. 3-4 hours after snorting the yopo I felt sane again. I developed a headache that continued for hours after however I was happy enough to make it out of the trip at all. I did miss quite a bit of the details and parts of this trip but this is all that I could grasp and remember.
I had been doing an obscene amount of Yopo, in combination with an influx of other drugs around that time. I am just sharing an experience I had that may have been triggered by doing such an unrealistic amount of Yopo.
Addendum - May 2021
At the time of writing this reports, my world was nihilist and sensually opportunist. Grabbing at all kinds of sense pleasures and wanting to get attention and recognition for them as well. Even though drugs were taken for the idea of destroying ego and having, what I labelled as, spiritual experiences, I found myself having pride and comparing experiences in terms of intensity, and not stopping in the seek of more intense and pleasurable experiences. I was, in a way, deeply entrenched in the very materialism I may have been running from.
My craving and lust for the world had not decreased, the only thing that may have changed is I had a world of psychedelic drugs that I was holding on to.
In hindsight, I also had many times been rude, ungrateful, conceited, lustful, even deceitful. And the paranoia I had developed was strange and unreasonable.
I do think by entering the lifestyle of taking those substances, I had in a way become more focused on a spiritual lifestyle by talking about the world and some abstract ideas (ie what is the world, is it a vibration? 4D or 3D?). But my moral behavior, which is a fundamental sign of spiritual wisdom, was often compromised to conceal or protect the usage of those substances or to get other things I wanted.
The wisdom I was looking for should suppress aversion(fear, envy, worry) and greed(lust, conceit, craving), but even during psychedelic experiences I could have lust or fear.
Despite such past effort and stubbornness in that direction, I have come to embrace that spiritual wisdom and straight character don't arrive by ingesting a physical substance. While avoiding and cutting off fools in my life but befriending and associating with the wise, I may live in a suitable place while striving towards spiritual wisdom and peace.
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