Citation: Rainshadow. "My Regrets: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp10700)". Erowid.org. Oct 19, 2012. erowid.org/exp/10700
I've always been the type to experiment with drugs, actions, anything. I never want to say I regret not doing something, and I always figured I'd never regret something I did. I wouldn't go so far to say that I completely regret ever trying Crystal meth, but I do regret knowing all that I now know about it. I wish I didn't know how unconditionally happy I can be. I wish I didn't know how fun all people can be. I wish I didn't know where to get it from. I wish I didn't know how smart I can be on it. I wish I hadn't spent all my money on it. I wish I didn't know that if I wanted it, I could have it for free now. I wish I didn't see things in the dark now. I wish I could fall asleep without thinking my heart is beating way too fast. I wish I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night chewing on my lips and cheeks. I wish I didn't see people who know I used to use all the time. I wish they wouldn't try to talk to me. I wish my friends didn't think less of me. I wish my family never saw me crying in the corner. I wish my mom could still look at me the same. I wish I could just talk about it, like I am now, without clenching my teeth and picturing white smoke coming from my mouth. I wish I didn't crave that white smoke. I wish I could drive at night, without things jumping out of the dark at me. I wish I didn't have to turn every single light in my house on at all times. No, it's not trying it that I regret, it's the fact that I couldn't stop at just trying. I had to keep doing it. And the fact that I couldn't strike a balance between doing crystal, and living my life. It was one or the other. And now I realize that I chose the wrong one.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.