Citation: imaginariumgirl. "Connected to Wholeness: An Experience with DMT (exp106841)". Erowid.org. Jun 5, 2017. erowid.org/exp/106841
Psychic Takes DMT
Shit was going down in my life at this point. My comfortability in my shared apartment with my boyfriend was dwindled due to strenuous conversations with each other about his secret use of heroin. I knew he was using it, he didn't want to admit a single word. Even under the scrutiny of 1000 suns and a white wigged colonial judge, he could evade every question at the speed of professional table tennis.
In the drudgery of tense conflict going nowhere, an unknown friend of my boyfriend was suddenly arriving to drop off a gram of DMT. He spotted it to us without paying as the two had discussed his desire for it before. He and I had both experienced it one time before. I was exhausted emotionally and physically and was convinced the conditions in my apartment were not clean enough, I was too tired, I was in a bad state of emotion and didn’t want to bring that into my personal experience. I told this to my partner and in a heartfelt moment he conveyed to me words I will never forget, “Please, I need to do this...I need to know why I’m alive” So I told him that he should absolutely do it and that I would support. We lay a fake fur blanket on the floor of an almost empty white room, except for the pile of dirty laundry towering in the corner. He prepared incense and I brought in crystals and orgonite to try and lift the energy. We sprinkled the DMT on top of some weed in a glass bowl, he lay backwards and I sat quietly. Within a few minutes after a long sigh, with his eyes closed, he speaks out loud “God is real.”
The honesty and calmness in his voice made me feel so safe. I knew then that I would take it that night despite having worked during the day and having work the next morning. After meditating quietly during his experience, he springs forward to life as if he'd just died. His pupils are dilated and his eyes were full of tears, he blurts out the words like steam from a tea kettle- every honest moment in his drug hiding that he wouldn’t admit before. The DMT showed him the interconnectedness, us as a couple old, the shame he felt in buying drugs to get fucked up. So much more than I could ever understand and comprehend of what he needed to see. DMT, the sacred teacher. At this point in time, I honestly believe smoking DMT saved him from beginning to use heroin regularly again, and for the future only time will tell. We laughed and cried and we hugged and the energy around us was completely clean.
Now it was my turn. My experiences in becoming a trained clairvoyant made me anticipate this DMT experience, to confirm the spirit world in all of its concreteness instead of experiencing it in focused whisps like in regular daily life. I took the first hit, and that’s when the room changed form slightly, the colors and oddity of sizes. I smoked two more hits, trying to hold them in long enough until I knew suddenly but gently that I was going someplace.
I felt and saw oscillating, dancing geometric patterns behind my eyes. My head played triumphant speeches “Yes we can! We can achieve it!” against heart-moving music, a feeling of absolute hope that could not be shaken, a feeling as large as if all war was ending. I then moved into a goddess being state, I heard peaceful bird and jungle noises, and I felt I was experiencing complete bliss is a sunny meadow with butterflies and no cares. I was connected to wholeness and I was directed by my soul into asking questions about the akashic records, my past lives, but what interestingly came up was the voice “Sirius. The golden phoenix. The keeper of all knowledge.” And in this conversation I said something really unintelligent- “what? Like all book smarts?” and the reply was “all intelligence, all knowledge of the universe” and then I snapped into thinking what that connection to Godliness must be and how close they are to that level of consciousness. (To fast forward, I searched this online later to find a website called goldenphoenix publishing and an explanation of the star Sirius, considered the doorway to consciousness, and information about earth’s alien ancestry, an undeniable universal confirmation of intelligent beings beyond earth.)
Within that time, I was connected to wholeness and within that wholeness every single passing idea or puzzled thought that had touched my subconscious in my entire lifetime, was answered.
within that wholeness every single passing idea or puzzled thought that had touched my subconscious in my entire lifetime, was answered.
During it all I felt I had reached deep understanding within, and during it all I was being rewarded with such a feeling of bliss that I was physically smiling and laughing. The universe confirmed to me that I was doing good and on the right path in my regular life. All I could say and feel repeatedly was “I am so grateful” I then saw myself emitting a toroidal pink field of love over the entire universe. I realized then that being a part of that kind of wholeness and love was what made me happiest in life. Many other complexities happened in that experience and yet I cannot remember fully to explain them now, or want to write another thousand pages.
When I laid down to sleep after the experience, my thoughts played very personal childhood memories in my head, I literally felt the feelings of being in my happy child once again- the calmness, the being, the unknown future. I felt the afterglow and changes long after, my new perspective on my once puzzling feelings were confirmed as they arose in my head on my solitary car rides to work. My relationship was transformed into a healthy, passionate one in the matter of 20 minutes. I was wiped clean and literally reborn.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.