Citation: Etarded. "A Nosefull of Knowledge: An Experience with Ketamine (exp106689)". Erowid.org. Jun 18, 2017. erowid.org/exp/106689
||(powder / crystals)
It had been a good day. I had a good day at class (summer class), got a good grade on my midterm, made my parents proud enough that they agreed to let me go to another music festival this summer- despite my lack of money/occupation. But I had my next semester planned out, and I felt like I was on a good path. So it's getting dark, and I donít know what my friends are doing. Fuck it though, weíve been hanging out a lot lately anyway.
So I decide to break into some of the k leftover from my most recent psychological exhibition. (a festival) As a short disclaimer/psychonaut qualification, Iíve lost count of the amount of times Iíve done just about every drug- especially LSD; that shit is better than everything in my opinion. Iíve additionally messed around with my fair share of RCís and what not- they usually suck; I just have yet to get into some DMT really. (no interest in opiates or meth)
Anyways, I do a bump. Now this is something that most of us are not unfamiliar with but for some reason, k was never a hot commodity among our group. No one was crazy about it or addicted to it, it was just there. I had done my fair share of research on dissociatives and was always somewhat familiar with the plateaus of dissociation- but I had never experienced them for myself and neither had any of my friends. Most of us were only familiar with the almost drunken sensation of getting Ďrockedí. (I am aware that I.M. dosage is ideal for dissociation effects but I personally just have a stigma against using needles) Anyways, I let the first bump kick in as I watch a fairly interesting Shep Gordon documentary on Netflix called Supermensch. I relax, watch the TV and sit idle as the drug takes its effect.
I do another bump or two as I sit here and consequentially begin to melt into my bed. At this point- yes, I am thoroughly inebriated or Ďrockedí. So I lay back and examine the slight psychedelic patterns and CEDís that arise from the ketamine. I begin to have this sensation in my head almost as if its expanding outwards and imploding at the same time. Or maybe more realistically- like two really strong vacuums pulling on either sides of my head. (minus any pain that would induce) It created a head rush- like what I hear in my head when I yawn.
It created a head rush- like what I hear in my head when I yawn.
But it felt awesome. I realized that the TV was beginning to distract this new psychedelic headspace that I had found myself in. So I turned that shit off. Once I realized the magnitude of the headspace I was in, I then started to think back on some of research I had done on dissociatives regarding out of body experiences.
That was an experience that had always been on my bucket list, but I wasnít sure if I would be able to obtain it or if it was even real. So I thought about it for a second and realized that almost every time I have been experimenting with dissociatives I had been engaged- whether it be in music, conversation, a walk, drinking at a party (bad move), or tripping balls or whatever the fuck we do nowadays. But that was most definitely the wrong way to experiment with k- at least if I'm tryna get real weird.
The best way to fully experience Ketamine is by yourself in a darkroom with no distractions except for maybe some music playing. (in my opinion)
So using all my strength at this point, (k makes it rather hard to walk/move) I roll over to the computer, check if thereís an imminent LD50 for ketamine (there wasnít) and proceed to shove some more shit up my nose. I lay back (lights off/music on at this point- you know the drill) and I wait for it to kick in. The first thing I notice is that nasty nasal drip in the back of my throat- but I wash it down with some water and keep waiting. Then I catch myself in some sort of thought loop that I can hardly even begin to describe. First of all, the song that had been playing at this moment had the lyrics Ďpeanut butter vibesí. The feeling was similar to the rush sensation I described earlier (with the vacuums), but this time it went further. All I can describe it as was just a whirlwind of meaningless insignificant thoughts having to do with peanut butter that all flashed before my consciousness until it came to what seemed like a dead end. Then before you know it, Iím staring myself in the face (without a mirror).
As soon as I realized that I had actually achieved this, I got extremely excited. Maybe got a little too excited- because I ended up kind of jumping back into my head and ending this short out-of-body experience (OOBE). But anyways I kept trying. I basically had to focus on not focusing- almost like meditation. Then this would allow my mind to wander just enough so that I could resume this out of body nonsense. I continued doing this for almost a half hour and was able to breakthrough and see myself from my chest or like my waist maybe, but not from the ceiling like I had read in some reports. The other thing is that whenever I would get to this out-of-body state, if I tried to focus on myself, I would start to get closer and closer until I just end up back in my head. So I had completed my objective at this point- seeing myself and all. But I figured Iíd go a little further- cause fuck it.
My nose was about ready to fall off at this point; but, I stick another couple French fries up there and I wait. Now this definitely did it. And it was by far the most Iíve ever gotten out of any experience with ketamine. I was able to more easily breakthrough and see myself from afar like I described earlier (the focusing on not focusing part). But the most absurd thing about this was that despite my condition, I felt oddly clear-headed. The sensory experience of looking at myself from the ceiling was incredible, but the fact that I could face nearly a gram of this shit, get all fucked up, and then at my peak come back to a point where I could again think straight? I felt like I was in the end zone- I had just scored a fuckin touchdown. And there was no need to go any further.
I remained in this transient blissful state for probably about a half hour. I just examined myself from my ceiling. I thought about my life and myself and all of these things I put in my body. This mindset continued as I came down and thatís when I became inspired to write this (still half inebriated). I felt more guilt that I probably ever have in my life. Drugs had unexpectedly become such a prominent thing, and despite how much I swear they have enlightened me, they have still taken from other aspects of my life, whether it be school, my relationship with my family, etc. and that was why I had felt so guilty. Now I had never fucked up too bad, but I had now realized that I had to draw the line somewhere.
Ketamine is a drug that I feel is fairly bad for you, and I decided that at this point I had really gotten all I could ever need from it. I had experienced the fourth plateau. I felt like I had just come back from a journey- but almost like one that was good to be over with. I had always had my doubts of the fourth plateau (as to whether it actually existed) and I had always heard of people getting addicted to it and seriously ruining their lives. After this experience however, I feel like there is something to be gotten out of K, but you have to be very careful with how much you enjoy it.
I feel like there are two types of drug use: thereís using drugs out of curiosity- to enlighten yourself, and then thereís using drugs as an escape- to get away from life. Now you can imagine which one is better for you. You can get to the bottom of any drug and figure out what its all about- learn to love it, learn to hate it, the only problem is that you can see it in your face afterwards, so I prefer to make sure its enlightening, and I (kind of) take care of my body. Lol.
I personally donít plan on doing ketamine again for at least a few months. People will always say that drugs change you, and they can, but as the user- you have to make sure that you donít leave it up to the drug.
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