Is it important to you that the world have accurate information about drugs?
Please donate to support Erowid Center's vision!
Lifelong Dissociative Freak
PCP, Ketamine & DXM
Citation:   Persistent. "Lifelong Dissociative Freak: An Experience with PCP, Ketamine & DXM (exp10663)". Jul 16, 2003.

  smoked PCP
    inhaled Ketamine
    oral DXM
I feel I should drop a brief line on dissociatives. My first experiences with dissociatives were with tobacco cigarettes dipped in large amounts of PCP (estimated 100-150 mg per cigarette.) My friends and I were smoking fully anaesthetic 'P-hole' ;) doses of PCP daily for a few weeks. I would smoke small doses at work and found that it considerably enhanced my performance, especially my short-term memory. At night we would rocket into the void, spending millenia in the worlds of the imagination. It was truly indescribable and I really wont even try, but let me say that anything seemed possible, indeed was, we could travel bodyless to countless times, places, dimensions.

I never noticed the least side effect and felt wonderfull for weeks after stopping when I moved to the Carribean. I was actually stiil quite high for maybe 4 weeks after discontinuation. After this I was obsessed with dissociatives for years, but they remained unavailable until a friend showed up with some Ketamine some 3-4 years later. I snorted 200 mg and had a mild dissaciative experience, just a tease really, and tease me it did. I WANT MORE! A week later the same friend gave me another 200 mg line at a rave when I was already rolling. Fairly good high, but not enough.

A week later the same friend and I bought several grams of chemical supply house Ketamine and I snorted it from morning till night, even doing 100mg rails at work, for a couple of weeks. I started slipping into the worst addiction of my life, and that's saying alot considering that i have been very addicted to heroin, methamphetamine, opium, benzos and alcohol at various times, and when I say addicted, I mean ADDICTED. This was far more addictive than any of those substances, mentally at least. Nothing mattered but K. At this time I got involved in a bad relationship with an abusive woman who made my life hell for 2 years, and I know I never would have gotten into that situation if I had not been so fucked up. Eventually my K supply dried up and I really felt like I was dead. I quit my jobs and became very depressed and suicidal. I developed a belief that death would be just like the K-hole and became obssessed with the idea of killing myself just to get high. Extremely bizarre, huh?

I became a weekly user of DXM, it didn't compare to K or PCP but it did the trick. Between DXM days I would just sit around and dream of having some K. I never stopped looking but luckily never found any. On my last DXM journey I was flying through a labyrinth of caves when I suddenly met a cyclops entity that told me in no uncertain terms to STOP! this madness and then he kicked me right out of my dissociative state. I snapped instantly back into this world with a very differnt view. Over the next 2 years I struggled to make the doomed relationship I had begun on K work and failed, but I got really into plant teachers like harmala, trichocereus, mushrooms, and yopo. With their help I was able to come around to a much healthier state.

Recently I was able to get some more K and use it with some moderation, and had an important experience in which I was looking at this fascinating world full of awe-inspiring beauty from inside the K-hole, and wanted more than anything to get back to my body and my world, a feeling I had never felt before. I had finally developed a healthier attitude towards dissociatives, and now respectfully treat them as what they are - incredibly powerful tools that are far too dangerous for the inexperienced (think chemical chainsaw.) I am afraid to think what could have happened if I had not had so much practice withdrawing from a variety of addictive substances.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 10663
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 16, 2003Views: 83,873
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
PCP (113), Ketamine (31), DXM (22) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults