Take a Survey on the use of Breathwork
for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, or PTSD
Researchers at Johns Hopkins seek responses to an anonymous survey on breathwork. You can participate whether your breathwork experiences helped or not.
(Must be 18+) Take the Survey!
Elated Excitement to Terror Stress
by LAIN0004
Citation:   LAIN0004. "Elated Excitement to Terror Stress: An Experience with MDA (exp106161)". Erowid.org. Nov 1, 2016. erowid.org/exp/106161

T+ 0:00
  oral MDA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 4:15   oral MDA (powder / crystals)


[Erowid Note: A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]

I am a 19 year old female, 100 lbs, healthy, but not fit. The person I was dosing with is a 29 year old male, body builder. We had very different experiences. I do not exactly know if it was cut with bath salts, but from extensive research, it is my conclusion that it was at least 50% bath salts. I would NOT do this combo, or bath salts ever again if given the chance.

Bought 4 doses. Sandy colored crystal.They were contained inside bpa coated grocery store paper, newspaper.

Begin log:
6:45pm - Ingestion with one other person. Stomach was comfortably full. Almost threw up gagging from the taste. Kept under tongue, feels chemically burned. After the extensive trip, I noticed I was actually burned underneath the tongue where the drugs leaked out of the paper. My partner did not feel the burning, but also he took it out of the paper, under his tongue. The taste was very VERY harsh, bitter chemical salt. We both drank it with strawberry lemonade tea.

APPROX)7:00pm - I felt strongly tied to music! I am musically inclined and I felt the urge to play the piano. Played for about 30 minutes some free improv, it was relatively simple, more than usual. Really feeling the music, my body felt some vibration.

APPROX)7:30 We wanted to be together and apart on and off, so we connected together again and decided to walk down the country road. I noticed he felt jittery and anxious, continuously talking and trying to grasp his own reality. However, I felt the opposite. I felt it very easy and possibly even necessary to be silent and peaceful with myself and surroundings.
I felt it very easy and possibly even necessary to be silent and peaceful with myself and surroundings.
I felt my inner child coming out more freely.

APPROX)7:59pm I felt very comfortable, relaxed, and happy. In the past we have taken pure MDMA together, and I was hoping we would be able to bond like that time. We did not bond very much.

Here I will type my actual notes quoted.
8:12 my feelings: I want the world to feel inner peace. Listening to music really activates me. I see the physical vibration from the music, I am completely out of my body. This is an outer body experience. I feel posessed. I see: hazy, things melt together.
8:15 Jaw Strongly clenches ((we were together in the car listening to music we both love))
8:22 This whole time I dont feel it necessary to talk. Inner Peace. I hope everyone feels this way. My eye sight is very twitchy. I am reminded of the rune Jera. Time is forever. The roosters call
8:26 DRIVING FEELZ CRAZY. I screamed with other worldly pleasure listening to music.'

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

This is where I lost track of time. I still wrote some notes after that, so I will include all of my data. We were driving for some time, though a couple mind-blowing tracks. I remember really vibrating hard, harder than I ever have, my entire body resonated with the music. I also remember I was singing really high notes, and singing and singing and resonating some more!

'TIME?? :)
(smiley faces) (hearts)
how you have your jaw affects how your words come out DOSE

I wonder...
(my name doodled)
practice singing'

It is important to note, I was feeling very heavy breaths the more energy I put into moving or singing. Also, we were BOTH licking our two front teeth a lot, as if trying to clean them. The entire time I felt tension in my jaw, extreme. I was laughing a lot. My energy was being burned up. I can guess the time is almost 9:00 at this point from the time on the next notes.

'What time is it? The day is so bright still. I feel like I can do anything
I feel really fast. Why did it burn my tongue? ...'

I felt really good about myself and my looks. I felt confident and strong. I was having second thoughts about what I actually ingested. I was laughing a lot. The next notes were kind of personal, generally feeling young and healthy.

'child <3
I do not WANT a child
I want to BE my INNER

so <3
What did I injest?'

'9:38? hard to focus on numbers and dates and words'
My eyes were getting speedier and speedier. There were no visual hallucinations beyond that. Hard to close eyes. After that I remember we went on another drive. I forget where we were going. I took a second dose at around, 10:00 because I felt sad and alone. I felt confusion, sorrow, frustration. We encouraged each other it was ok to take the second dose. It was a mistake...
We encouraged each other it was ok to take the second dose. It was a mistake...
I swallowed half the dose out of the paper, the taste reminded me of disease and illness. I felt so nauseous tasting this substance. The taste did not leave for a long time, even after I drank water. I gave my partner another dose before I took mine. He said he felt like he was sobering up, and I agreed to share another dose with him. We kissed my remaining half together at (my best guess is) ~11:00.

We did some talking, some more driving. I felt agitated. He seemed to be driving well.

I will tell you, we got back at about 2:00 or something. We tried being sexual but I wasn't confident on how well we both would have performed, so we did not continue. He was tired and was trying to sleep. I was extremely stimulated and awake. I felt extremely tired. I felt coldness in my chest, heart, stomach area. My entire body shook, endlessly. I was taking EXTREMELY deep and exaggerated breaths, and I was trying very hard to calm down. I was overwhelmed with anxiety. I felt extreme stress, and my eyes were continuously wide open. Impossible to rest. He did not seem to want to help or console me. The breathing was so extreme, it was feeling like the life was being sucked out of me. I've never done impure drugs before, so it was very very hard for me to calm down. This lasted for 12+ hours.

Even after 30 hours of this wretched come-down, I still feel jittery and nervous at times. I really hope this drug did not affect me permanently. The come-down was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. The euphoria was NOT worth it, and it was more expensive than the MDMA I had a year prior!!

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 106161
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: Nov 1, 2016Views: 1,943
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
MDA (34) : What Was in That? (26), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults