Citation: PathosInvalid. "Encounter With Death Itself: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp106031)". Erowid.org. Sep 22, 2020. erowid.org/exp/106031
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From last year around August, to the time of the incident (Feb?..) I was really into LSD. I had a very reliable supplier, it was always the real stuff. Never bought a hit or two at a time, usually would get a strip or two. Of course, not all for me. For the entire time period, I'd drop maybe once every two weeks. I'd do anywhere from 3-5. Greatly enjoying it, nothing bad ever happened.
One night after work, I went to 'X''s house. I had gotten the strip of some 'Good micro dot'. I was a little worn out so I didnt want to do the normal amount. Keep in mind, I've dropped at least a few hundred times. So I decided to do 2, just to chill out and have fun and experience the experience ya know.
So, I dropped 2 and he dropped 3 around 11 or so, the normal time I drop. I'm a night tripper, never been a fan of day tripping because every time I trip in public, I feel like everyones laughing at me for some reason.
About an hour in, it started. Everything was going as it usually does with LSD. Slow melting movements, laughing historically, the normal. We decided to watch some DBZ for a few hours. Smoke some bud, do the normal. But then things got... Dark.
I disconnected from the tv show and just started exploring my mind. Then something happened. Ill never be able to explain this.. Please, from here on out keep your mind open to what happened, no matter how crazy I'm about to sound. This happened. From my perspective, none of this is fictional. This was all too real to me. And to X.
It was around 1 or 2 a.m. The trip stopped. No come down, no falling asleep, it just. Stopped. The movement stopped. I felt sober. I felt like myself, I wasnt disoriented. We both looked at each other in complete confusion. What happened? We both asked that. I just went along with it and said 'Well that was a nice trip man, I'm gonna go to the restroom'. I go upstairs and like. The trip was just over. Just like that. I went back downstairs, and here begins the horror.
I was sitting on the couch, and he said 'I have something to show you'. He plays an episode of DBZ. It began, and it glitched out kind of. The title screen said the episode was called 'Mistakes of last night'. I was utterly confused.
He looked at me, as if he knew something I didn't know. The episode played, and full force, I was flung back into the trip. Like I've been punched with a psychedelic fist of intense power. The episode included a fight between Freeza and Goku.
That night, I was being tested. Something else was with us. Something evil. Something communicating through the tv, DBZ, and controlling X. X wasn't himself. The whole time, I felt like he was in on it. Of course, the entity couldnt cause physical harm to me, so perhaps he used a host? This guy is about 2 or 3 hundred more pounds than me. He is a big guy. I got up to go get some water. I was nervous and very scared. He was in my way and asked where I was going. I didnt answer, and he looked like he was going to hit me so I put up my fists, kind of, just in case so I could defend myself.
He swung at me, knocking me on my bed. Got on top of me and started to beat the fuck out of me. He got up and apologized, I apologized as well. I decided to stay down there with him. Then came the tests. In DBZ, Goku, represented life. Freeza, represented death.
The clock read 4:00A.M.
Every time I would make a mistake, Everything would replay. The episode would go backwards, me and him would both go in reverse. And the clock would reset to 4.
I know I know, ridiculous. Just, keep hearing me out.
Every time my will to live fell short, Freeza would get the upper hand on goku, and X would freak out and continue to hurt me. I was being tested. I was being punished. I let out all of my emotions and started crying, deeply. He got really emotional and I hugged him and he said it was okay, everything will be okay. Some blurry things happened, I dont recall it, but I had to endure ever bad feeling. The test was to endure it and prove that I had the will to survive. I threw up on his carpet, so I went to clean it up. Out of courtesy, I went to go to his laundry room (inside of his basement, where we were) to go wash it. I get in there, and he starts pounding the door. I rush to get it in there. The door slams open, and he's grabbing me pulling me back, punching me, my blood all over the wash dial for the washing machine. He threw me down and started to choke me with a pillow. I slowly slipped away, but I had to live. I had to prove to this entity that I wanted my life. In my mind, I could hear him mocking me. The entity. Telling me I'm unworthy of my life.
I was suffocated, punched relentlessly, had the air sucked out of me, had intense pressure built up inside, I was about as close to death as you can get without dying. I was screaming 'He's trying to kill me, help'. At the top of my lungs, over and over. Finally I got up, broke his pipe that was in there to defend myself against him. Finally I slip free of his grip.
I walked out into the basement room, lost all of my energy, and fainted. I then began to go into a seizure. Every part of my body shaking violently without control. I woke up in the ambulance. They told me if they hadn't gotten there sooner, I would have died from blood loss. They estimated that I had a good 15 minutes until I could have lost my life. I was there. I was at the edge. I slipped away momentarily while being choked on the floor, reaching for something to grab, something to just help me get a breath of air.
Some details that I left out because I'm not sure when it happened on the time line; I spilled a full cup of water on myself. The entity told me I had to go through complete embarrassment. I had to. To prove I could live. I got completely naked. Why ? For the above reason. The entity told me I had to be completely embarresed, to learn a lesson. More or less, I also did it so maybe he would stop trying to kill me. So he'd feel to disgusted to touch me. I cried and cried, yelling everything I regret in life.
I havent touched LSD since. I never will. Ever.
Thank you for reading.
It was really hard typing this out...
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