DOSE:		sublingual	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
		insufflated	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

After recently reconnecting with an old friend of mine, he offered to go on the web to buy me 500mg of MXE (it was legal at the time). I'm a fairly heavy stoner, familiar with some psychedelics, but research chemicals were completely new to me. Although I was skeptical, I did my research and decided it was worth a shot. After all, you never know when you'll get a chance like that again.

When the drugs came, he measured out five 100mg capsules for me and told me to be very careful eyeballing measurements, since the dosage is so small. Over the next couple of weeks, my friends and I had multiple encounters with MXE, and each time it was completely different, for myself at least.

I'm a Type 1 diabetic, so when it comes to any chemical changes in my body, I have to be extremely cautious. I can't risk losing consciousness or presentness, for fear that my blood sugar might deregulate. If I have a low blood sugar attack, I can die in just twenty minutes. It puts a bit of a damper on my consumption, but it's for the best.

I'll briefly describe for you each experience I had with MXE, just so you can get a feel for how unpredictable the drug can be, especially with my exacerbating condition.

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1. The first time I popped open a capsule, I measured out 50mg (by eye, mind you, although the capsule had exactly 100mg inside). I chose to take it sublingually, as the come-up was gentler. After about 30 minutes, I started to notice the effects. I felt... lighter. The world around me became a bit more vivid and slightly less tangible. I got up to walk around the house and noticed how strange my movement seemed. After an hour, these effects were exponentially more pronounced.

Anyone who has done a strong dose of MXE (or Ketamine) will describe a sort of rubber-banding effect; your body is moving, but your mind seems to slide along a few seconds behind. I began running into things, not completely uncoordinated, but with a little more force than I should have. Sitting down felt comfortable, and I felt mostly dissociated from my body.

I tried to watch some TV, but I just couldn't concentrate. This is another feeling I didn't quite like, and the reason I won't take MXE anymore. I constantly felt like whatever I was doing wasn't quite what I wanted. My brain was moving at a mile a minute, but somehow I didn't feel right just doing whatever I happened to be doing. It was a strange experience, most succinctly summed up as 'confusing.'

Somehow, the maintenance guy had come into our apartment, and I barely noticed. Strange...

2. The second time, I insufflated about 35mg with a couple friends. We all enjoyed the high, and it seemed to be just as pronounced as the first trip. I got most of the visuals and mood shift without much of the confusion.

MXE tastes nasty as all hell. With insufflating, the taste may linger for hours.

3. The third time was not great. I sublingually took the 50mg I had left from the first time, expecting to have a similar experience. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of having a couple brownies immediately before-hand, spiking my blood sugar while simultaneously coming up on MXE.

After roughly 45 minutes, I start to feel queasy. I got up to get some water, thinking it was just a stomach bug. As I got up, the effects of the drug hit all at once, and I stumbled my way into the kitchen, clumsily running into the sink. I felt as though I was going to throw up, but somehow, I managed to keep it together.

However, instead of enjoying the high, I sat in front of the sink for three hours, with the lights off and my head down. I could barely raise my eyes before I started to feel sick again. Although the drugs effects were definitely there, they offered no relief, and it was a solid six hours before I felt normal again.

4. At this point, I started breaking down the dosage even more, taking 15 or 20mg before playing some video games, or even doing 10mg before class, just to see what it was like. These small doses were largely unmemorable, although I do remember enjoying the slight change in perception on my daily experiences, though the same could be said for nearly any drug.

5. The final time worth noting, I was down to my last 100mg. Today, an electronic music collective known as PC Music were livestreaming some Halloween event. In notoriously cryptic fashion, they provided the world with only a link and a time.

My roomie and I split it evenly, ingesting it roughly an hour before the livestream. As I started to slip into the MXE headspace, I dissociated from my body more than I have before.

This is where things started to get uncomfortable. Like a bad nightmare, small clips of dialog began repeating themselves in my brain, over and over and over. They turned into song clips - the worst bits of shitty pop songs on infinite loop, and I couldn't seem to shake them, no matter what. As I tried to think of something else, my sedated mind only concentrated on them more. Thankfully, a big glass of water and the arrival of the livestream saved me from my personal hell.

Predictably, the livestream was a fucking trip. The artists on PC Music's roster all make warped, complex, and visually trippy pop music, operating under various guises and monikers with the ultimate intent of a) making you dance and b) confusing you. It was one of the most immersive experiences I've ever had in my life, and the MXE simply heightened the experience.

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I don't think I'll do MXE again. It was fun at it's best, but absolute hell at its worst. Being a diabetic, of course, complicated things severely.

The best thing about MXE is the headspace it offers. I never K-holed (or M-holed, in this instance), but I certainly dissociated. At times, I was able to reach parts of my mind I never thought I could. And walking around on MXE is hilarious. I ran into things, stumbled, and careened around drunkenly, although I never hurt myself. I would definitely compare it to alcohol impairment, only minus the clouded judgement.

The worst thing about MXE is the confusion. Getting wrapped up in my own mind can be terrifying, but MXE has the ability to make me hopelessly frustrated by the whole process as well. You need to be mentally sound in order to do any dissociative, because once you start to dissociate, all you have left are your thoughts, twisted and beautiful and incomplete as they are.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 105967
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Mar 7, 2016	Views: 2,816
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Methoxetamine (527) : Music Discussion (22), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)