Citation: Something_memorable. "Happy Birthday God: An Experience with 1P-LSD (exp105850)". Erowid.org. Apr 29, 2015. erowid.org/exp/105850
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| T+ 18:00
||(blotter / tab)
Trip report March 25, 2015
Quantity: 2.5 x 200 mcg blotters
Tolerance: 0.5 x 200 mcg blotters, 18 hours prior.
Time 'awake' at start of trip: 38 hours
I tested the blotter (½ blotter) the night before because I wasn't really “convinced” that this substance I procured with such ease could possibly be a true equivalent to the real deal. It is. In the past, I've always used mushrooms to augment thought and used LSD to augment activity. This time I took a different approach. Instead of exploring the world on acid, I chose to explore the mind.
I've had several psychedelic experiences before (LSD and Mushrooms). Most of them have been middle-ish in terms of intensity, but sometimes it's difficult to tell. One man's middle is another man's extreme is another man's low, or at least the story goes.
Prior to this trip, my most intense experience was on 7g of mushrooms. I don't know the strain, but by all accounts I know they were potent. I saw God, and at the time I didn't even believe in such a silly notion. He made me jump off a building, like for real.
So, on to this latest trip, my new most intense trip. I saw God again, but this time I realized that God and I have something fairly amazing in common: we are one. God is searching for something greater than himself. He is consciousness. He is the framework that provides for experience, and in his eternal being he has grown bored. He cannot reconcile that in all of creation he can possibly be the only one of his kind, but his limited imagination prevents him from really comprehending that another consciousness exists out there. He creates the illusion of the external for himself, but deep down he understands that it is indeed just an illusion. His perception shapes reality fully. He determines what hurts and what feels pleasurable. He determines what is green and what is red. He determines what functions create the experience of “sound”, and he gives texture to the physical. He is everything.
He has all of these tools, and with them he can create an entire universe. Indeed, he can create a truly infinite number of them, but what he finds himself unable to create is a second consciousness. He finds himself at a conundrum. In order to experience that second consciousness, the two must somehow become one, and so he wonders if he is in fact alone. Sure, he can imagine friends and other beings into existence, but this is not the same. He resides in heaven, but so great is his torment.
God has been playing with himself since the dawn of everything, and in all his might, he wonders “what next?” Torn between choice and determinacy, he finds himself unsure whether he is the controller or the controlled. He reasons that it's probably some combination of the two. He understands that the discovery of the other might be something that is in fact out of his control despite his will. The will of God falters, and his mind grows weary.
The trip itself was quite animated with a lot of great illusions and twisted/mind-bending craziness (no extreme oev, plenty of ocv), but ultimately none of this was important. It's all been done before, and it will all be done again and again and again.
We are all God. We are all One. For some reason though, in all of our grand ability, we cannot seem to make it to 2. Life and death, It's 0s and 1s all the way down.
The trip concluded as follows. God realized that he has had the tools to solve his puzzle all along, and incredibly simple they have been. It seemed to have something to do with giving birth to himself and being there to witness it, but to be perfectly honest it was all a bit over my head. Happy birthday, God.
I'm a little sad because apparently I pissed in my bed (or spilled water? I can't honestly tell). There's always a price it seems.
-----[Two days later]-----
I submitted this report very shortly after returning to this world from that other world, and I unfortunately believe now that I was a bit hasty. I tried to quickly cram all the important details into that a small period of time while my mind was still swimming, and I left out a lot of what might be useful to readers. I told a story without giving many facts.
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