Citation: Java. "Breakthrough: An Experience with 25i-NBOMe (exp105849)". Erowid.org. Dec 21, 2020. erowid.org/exp/105849
The doses described in this report are potentially life threatening. The amount taken is beyond a heavy dose and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Doses such as this have been known to cause hospitalizations and/or deaths. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
After some internal debate I have decided to attempt writing a report of a recent 25i-NBOMe trip. The debate with myself mostly centered around the difficulties I was (and still am) having at trying to convey the experience into language. However, I am so intrigued and fascinated by what I went through that I strongly desire to try.
Some info about myself: I am a 33 year old male in good health. I have a long history of drug use, abuse and addiction. However, I am pleased to say that I have finally reached an age where a certain degree of maturity has entered into my decision making and I no longer partake in any 'hard' drugs. My use now almost exclusively consists of psychedelics, including marijuana, and benzos. I smoke marijuana 2-3 times a week and indulge in the benzos 1-2 times a week.
Now, I have recently acquired a large amount of what I have ascertained to be pure or close-to pure 25i-NBOMe. I was told each dose contained 1.5mg but after a dozen or so trips I believe each dose is closer to ~1mg.
My history with psychedelics goes back over a decade and I have had mostly very positive experiences with LSD, DMT, Psylocibin mushrooms as far as tryptamines go and 2c-i and 25i-NBOMe on the phenethylamine side.
Over the past four months I have been doing pretty regular exploring with the 25i-NBOMe in doses ranging from ~.5mg - ~13mg. I know that these seem like high doses but I am a heavy hitter, always have been and I have taken 25i from other sources and given my 25i to enough other people to be able to judge the doses with what I believe is true accuracy. I will feel sub milligram doses but to make it a worthy trip I like to take at least 2mg.
Two weeks ago I was alone in my house about 9pm. My wife had gone to work and I decided to go for broke and try to 'break through' with a large dose of 25i. I say break through because I have noticed a remarkable similarity between DMT and LSD and 25i and there is definitely a threshold with all three substances that once reached, remarkable and incredible things occur. I refer to the crossing of this threshold as a 'breakthrough.'
I placed ~13mg of 25i-NBOMe on my upper gums on both sides of my mouth. I have read and believe it to be true that vigorously brushing ones gums before placing the strips on the gums increases the rate and amount of absorption. So I did that as well. I took the dose about 9:20pm.
T + 20mins: I actually forgot I took the 25i and about 20 mins in started to feel something and remembered very quickly that I had taken the dose. What I felt was quite different from the come up with other trips on 25i but considering this dose is twice as much as I have ever taken previously, my expectations were basically nil. Usually there is some lightness and pressure in my chest and head and a sort of disorienting sensation as the chemical comes on. I experienced none of these feelings on this particular occasion.
T + 35mins: Ok something is really going on here. My house is decorated with very warm hues of purple and blue. Very soothing colors and these colors were everywhere, vividly pronounced and gorgeous. It was as if I was somehow soothing myself. Then all of a sudden this pressure started to pick me up. It felt kind of like a wind blowing from behind me and I kept spinning around because it felt so amazing. However the uplifting wind stayed at my back however I turned and I began to dance and spin and move about. My movements felt super graceful and were incredibly pleasurable to partake in.
T + 40mins: At this point I have danced into my bathroom and am looking in the mirror. Oh my god, I look at least a decade younger, my skin is glowing and my eyes are radiant. I look absolutely beautiful to myself. I don't normally feel this way at all as I am sort of ambivalent about my overall 'looks' and don't particularly feel myself to be either highly attractive or unattractive. But I was literally glowing with a light on this night. Beautiful and young and full of energy and love.
T + 50mins: I continue to dance and as I cross my bedroom the feelings of lightness and the presence of the vivid, soothing colors intensifies to the point where I can no longer reconcile it as a possibility. I just kept repeating to myself 'This is wild.' 'This is wild.' I was ramping up very fast now and the visuals were getting very bright and intense. However, the distortion of my visual field, patterns, shadows morphing etc. that I usually get on 25i were not present. There was no distortion just a gorgeous, peaceful glow.
T + 55mins: I move out into my living room and immediately without thinking sit down in a half lotus, it feels so comfortable and my body is light beyond all belief. I feel the sensation of flying as if I am moving very fast. It is truly incredible and I am still feeling unable to believe this is happening. Which is very strange because I have experienced very similar sensations with LSD and I've never had the thought 'this cannot be possible.'
T + 1hour: I realize I am dying. Fear grips me for a second. I no longer have control of my movements and I find myself standing up and putting my hands together. I close my eyes and I am flying through space. I begin to lean in to the direction of my movement and I think for a second 'I am never coming back.' 'This is the end.' The fear passed though and I accepted my impending death and allowed the feeling of falling to come.
T + 1hour10minutes: I am falling at a million miles an hour through starry space. Just when I think all my faculties have left me and I am no more, I open my eyes. I am still here! But I am no longer the normal me. I am the world, I am everything that ever was, will be, is, all pleasure and pain are seen as illusions and the whole process of my life up to this point begins to play in my mind. I see how there aren't any other people, there is only me. Or rather, I am everyone. I remember the pain of a girl crying in first grade and that pain balances with the pleasure of trees blowing in the summer breeze. All of the events of my life are instantly recognizable as a perfectly balanced whole and I understand the full unfolding of my life as the world. This was a truly magical experience and I had access to knowledge that I would not normally have. I witnessed the full process of a 16th century explorer and lived that, I became a medical doctor performing bone grafts and watched myself complete a surgery. I was sitting in the half lotus and I saw that my life was/is all lives at once and I had access to all of them. Past, present and future. I had a flash of insight that told me how I could take this understanding back with me from the trip and eradicate all my fears. At the time I understood how to complete that act in full but was only able to partially abolish my fears of anything and everything. I saw the root of fear as a running away from pain and helplessness and since I fully understood all pain as an imaginary construct used by my mind to create an illusion through which I can understand and balance the world during my normal life, I was quite successful at working through a large portion of the everyday fears that plague me. For example, the fear of losing things I hold dear and the fear of losing the things that I need to survive are very weak as compared to how they were before this trip. I surely grew through this insight and will never be the same.
T + 1hour45mins: It was around this time that I began to think I would never come back and that the world had ended. I was doing such amazing things with my mind. Controlling what I sensed for example, that I truly did not think all of this was due to the drug and that some sort of grand occurrence had befallen the world and that the sun would never rise and I was not really alive anymore. It truly was fantastical. I was playing with my dog and I could make my dog bark with my mind. I played jingle bells with my dog's barking. I also watched as my 11 year old black lab aged backward into a puppy again and I played with her like that for quite some time. However, I also began to get very lonely because I thought I would never see my wife again and this created a sense of loneliness that lasted until she got home and I was able to come down a little and realize that I was just tripping.
T + 2hours: So I am not happy and I am not sad, I just am. I have accepted this whole situation. The world has ended and I am now in some sort of afterlife awaiting something that I couldn't fathom. I also felt lonely because I didn't want to never see my wife again. This feeling, while not pleasant, did not really negatively effect the trip as I was able to find peace through the amazing insights I had experienced.
T + 2hours35mins: My wife finally comes home! I am still tripping really hard so I think it is a trick created by my desire to see her again and that I had to learn a lesson about clinging to desire and finally let her go completely in order to come to the peace that I sought. So she's talking to me and I tell her that I am tripping and she asks me how I am and I try to explain but I just can't. I tell her that I am very happy to see her but I don't really believe that she is there. This really weirds her out and she goes in the other room. I try to keep up the conversation with her because I think at any moment she is going to disappear. At one point I ask a question and she doesn't answer and I think that she has disappeared and I run into the bedroom but there she is. I think at this point I began to realize that I was going to come down. But I was still very high.
T + 3hours: We move to the living room and begin to watch a paranormal show on TV. My wife loves paranormal stuff and is somewhat obsessive about these shows. Anyway, the intro into the show, while normally a minute or two, takes 10 mins in my mind, and the song that plays is some wild, trippy space funk and I go back into the trip again for awhile thinking 'oh shit, she still might disappear and this might not even really be happening.' It was really wild. I wanted to stop focusing on this feeling of loneliness and try to milk this state of mind for anymore glorious truths or insights but there it was, ever-present, I'm going to miss my wife. It both hurt that I couldn't let go of her and also felt good that I was so happy to be with her.
T + 4hours: I've come down some more for sure now and I now know that eventually everything will return to how it was before I took the drug. This was a pleasant realization because I really am not quite ready for the world to end and for me to die yet. Though I was somewhat impressed by my ability to accept and stay calm through the madness of the psychedelic head-space. I also gained some very useful insights on fear and pleasure/pain and have become much more adept at dealing with fear and not becoming too attached to pleasure or afraid of pain. I certainly feel that this trip was a success! I did indeed breakthrough into somewhat total ego-death, though I wasn't able to let go of my wife. Truly though that was the only factor that kept me from ascending into some sort of bliss state I think. The attachment to her didn't allow me to enter into it fully. Oh well. It did give me a taste of what it will feel like to lose her one day, and any preparation I can get for those times of deep loss that are inevitable in life, I cherish. Thank you 25i-NBOMe for a deeply meaningful and insightful night that I won't soon forget.
As a note, I mentioned before that I am a heavy hitter and routinely dose 1 and a half to twice what other people will take. I don't recommend that anyone take 13mg of this substance. I don't have any plans to repeat the dose as the 4-6mg mark is perfect for music, tripping with friends etc. And while the lower dose range doesn't quite carry the spiritual weight of such a heroic dose, this chemical does have some very worthwhile things to offer the explorer at low doses. It is very visual, has a highly pleasant body load, except for maybe the first 20 mins which can be a little bit disorienting, enhances music wonderfully and is great to take with friends for a fun time. I consider it to be a little less intense than the tryptamines it resembles quite closely as far as 'holy shit I'm everything' moments but, as far as phenethylamines go, it is far more visually stimulating than 2c-i and though I've had some amazing trips on 2c-i, I am very glad I have become well acquainted with 25i-NBOMe. I still have never had mescaline or even 2c-b. But I imagine the high dose 2c-i trips I've had are rather similar in nature. 25i-NBOMe does not deserve the bad rap it gets as a dirty, sub-par LSD, it doesn't blast me out so readily as LSD does at lower doses, but I think I would rather go dance and flirt on 25i than LSD just due to the fact that it isn't as mind-blowing at lower doses.
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