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Entering the Void of Nothingness
Alcohol
by pseudonymmmmmmm
Citation:   pseudonymmmmmmm. "Entering the Void of Nothingness: An Experience with Alcohol (exp105301)". Erowid.org. Nov 17, 2016. erowid.org/exp/105301

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral Alcohol

BODY WEIGHT: 170 lb


I think it would be good to note that I did a large amount of drugs at Bonoroo, I think around a week or so prior to this incident. The drugs that I did while at Bonoroo include, weed, lsd, mushrooms, alcohol, mda, and tobacco. I am not sure if this prior experience has anything to do with this one.

I'm basically just going to describe a general very unexpected experience that I had with alcohol.

The setting: I'm in an apartment, it is my good friend's birthday party, it is a basic shindig. Maybe about 10 people or so are around.

While I am at this party, I drink apple cider, continuously, beer, and some shots of whiskey.

At the beginning, I'm feeling pretty good, talking to my friends about how messed up society is, etc, etc, basic counterculture stuff. We are listening to music, and the vibe is enjoyable. I'm meeting lots of new people, I've been having a great time. I talk to a 50 something year old war veteran about his experiences on the front lines and I feel very emotional. He is quite intoxicated, and is telling everyone that he loves everyone. At the time, I thought of this as a very intense experience.

I continue to keep on drinking. Up until this point I have felt mostly like I have had a great connection to everyone that I have been in contact with, at this party.

I start sweating quite a bit, and I feel nauseous. I am having a little bit of anxiety, and I have to urinate very badly.

I go to the bathroom, pull down my pants, and sit on the toilet. I pee, and I kind of lose track of time completely. It feels like I've been peeing for *forever*. After sometime of this I look down and realize that I am no longer urinating, and I am mistaking the flowing water of the toilet to be the sound of me urinating.

Slowly, nothingness builds up. I have a brief thought 'I think I might be tripping'. I sit there for a few minutes and then I kind of lose the knowledge of where I am, who I am, what I am doing, my vision ebbs out completely, or at least I do not recognize that I am seeing. Everything ceases to exist completely, including myself.

After a few minutes of this, I ask the question 'who am I'.

I don't know what I am, I look down at my body and become *extremely* confused.
I don't know what I am, I look down at my body and become *extremely* confused.
I seem to have no knowledge of what humans are or anything of how the world works or anything.

I am starting to come down. I wonder if I am developing schizophrenia or something. Nothing at all makes sense to me.

Slowly, I return back to 'reality'.

I am sweating an extreme amount, and I feel very sick, and still quite intoxicated. I leave the restroom, and lay down on the living room floor. I kind of fall half asleep, only to to waken up only a few minutes later. My friend takes me to his room and has me lay on his bed, takes my shirt off, and tells me I'm sweating a whole bunch. He asks me if I need anything, which I respond, no, I'm good, I'll just go to sleep.

I sleep remarkably well.

I have to go to work the next morning, I ride my bike to work, and i puke my guts shortly after I wake up. I feel sick for the rest of the day.

This is the most altered I have ever been while using any substances.

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 105301
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 17 
Published: Nov 17, 2016Views: 1,823
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Alcohol - Beer/Wine (199), Alcohol - Hard (198) : Hangover / Days After (46), General (1), Large Group (10+) (19)

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