But I Did Not Want to Go
by ResistanceD
Citation:   ResistanceD. "But I Did Not Want to Go: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT & DET (exp104879)". Erowid.org. Aug 21, 2017. erowid.org/exp/104879

13 mg vaporized 5-MeO-DMT (powder / crystals)
  30 mg vaporized DET (powder / crystals)


Near-Death Experience

A first trial with the 5-MeO several weeks ago showed me its basic character: minor visuals, forceful rushing sensations, deep and eerie emotions. But I seeked a more colourful experience. Therefore I tried out the combination of 5-MeO-DMT with DET, a very nice colourful psychedelic.

5-MeO-DMT -> 13 mg (a rather large dose)
DET -> 30 mg (medium dose)

Tools for vaporization:
Oil burner, lighter

It was a Friday evening and I was alone in my apartment, my mood was not euphoric but also not depressed. I weighed in both substances, transferred both of them in the burner and melted the materials just to obtain a homogenous mass. In case of getting 'seasick' I fetched a bucket for vomiting. As sound landscape, a nice psybient mix from the boom festival in portugal was chosen. My mind was in a quite excited state, as a 5-MeO-DMT breakthrough is in my eyes a very dramatic and hard experience. But I was not prepared and could not foresee what will happen in a few seconds.

Ok, let's start I thought. Electric lights were turned off, a candle was lit and the backrest of my desk chair was turned to a comfortable 45 position. I inhaled and exhaled three times and wished me good luck. Most things in my life are good now, I have a nice and good woman at my side, only my job situation is not at its best. By seeking this psychedelic experience, I searched for answers about my personality.

So, I heated the glass bubble with full force and inhaled all material in one toke. Immediately, after approximately 2 - 3 seconds my vision started to shake, vibrate and minor patterns of colours were formed. It looked as if my surroundings were ripped apart, completely. I felt as if I am getting unconscious and I had to close my eyes.

But more than that was happening. I was pulled through a huge vortex of colours and emotions. Shreds of uncontrolled thoughts raced through my scattered mind. Black and dark thoughts from very deep within. I was confronted with emotions of an eeriness and dread I never felt before. And suddenly I realized it: I was dying. To say it correctly: an unknown voice was saying 'NOW YOU WILL DIE'. While hearing this message I clearly felt some kind of telepathic connectedness with my family, in a way to say goodby to all of them. Oh, was I sad at this moment. Feelings of a farewell forever filled my mind. Well, this was it with my life, dead at an age of 36. And I felt a big sorrow for it. So much things not cleared in my life, so much wasted time. And I felt something waiting for me at the other side and reaching out for me. But I did not want to go, my soul was crying with tears. So alone and dying.

And suddenly, I was lifted back to were I started, my eyes burst open quite similar to awakening from a nightmare. Man, was I happy to live! My surrounding was still changed a little bit with patterns and morphing. But this played no role for me, as I experience obviously near death.

So in the end, I have to say the combination of DET and 5-MeO-DMT did not result in a nicer and colourful experience. But I felt how quickly death can come and how important it is to see my life as a granted gift from someone with much more power than us humans. After this experience I am not sure to test the 5-MeO again, as you can clearly understand.

Take care and watch out. Peace!

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 104879
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 36 
Published: Aug 21, 2017Views: 2,084
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5-MeO-DMT (58), DET (16) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)

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