Citation: Mimisbaby. "Not Worth It: An Experience with Bad/Suspect Ecstasy (exp104377)". Erowid.org. Feb 24, 2017. erowid.org/exp/104377
||(powder / crystals)
I felt the need to write about my experience I had with MDPV. I bought a gram of MDMA with my partner with the assumption that is was 'pure' MDMA - only to find out that it was partially mixed with MDPV and other intoxicants.
Started a line around 11pm - burned horrendously through the nose and was very bitter - which is what I would also expect with MDMA, but within 3-5 minutes I had an extreme feeling of doom. It was not just a feeling of fear, but I felt an impeding darkness in the room. Heart racing was pretty quick and I ended up crying out of fear that we had ingested something that could potentially HARM us. After crying for a few minutes and freaking out, a euphoria set in - but my partner and I knew that this was most likely not pure MDMA due to the fact that the first 5 minutes we shared the feeling of utter despair and fear. That is totally not normal on MDMA - as we both have a lot of experience with MDMA and its effects.
I can explain the next 6 hours as such: The euphoric feeling went up and down - it was not static happiness like MDMA - but it waned in and out - and there is definitely a paranoia and fear factor present which is additionally not typically part of a pleasant MDMA experience. Having never had visual hallucinations myself - this drug actually made me have very strong visual hallucinations. I saw beetles fluttering out of the corners of walls - butterflies randomly floating everywhere - a series of geometric like patterns on the wall which rotated like clocks and also lines on the ceiling which reminded me of topographical maps. Extreme sensitivity to light was also there and in general, even though the hallucinations didn't scare me at all - it was still VERY uncharacteristic of what we know of pure MDMA. We knew we had taken something else. My partner during hour 3 became completely disassociated - he ended up curling into a ball and mumbling to himself and talking out of place. This part scared me the most because he had taken quite a bit more than me and I was still not feeling good myself. If one of us needed to go to the hospital I was afraid he wouldn't even be able to communicate. This eventually passed and we just tried to ride out the wave sanely.
My partner and I continued to finish the gram between us DESPITE the fact that we were on the borderline of wanting to go to the ER. I don't know why the drug has a high compulsive redose aspect to it, but it did, and it wasn' worth it. Coming down was absolutely horrendous. Neither of us could actually sleep properly, but not only that - I experienced what I can only describe as small seizures in the night, and hypnic jerks. I could never actually get into REM sleep because I would jerk awake and see bright flashes of light. This worse thing is that this effect lasted SEVERAL MONTHS after taking it. As an academic - this drug completely wrecked any processes I had of being able to recall or explain information for a long time. I had to make a habit of reading difficult material for 2 hours a night so I could basically 'retrain' my brain to function semi-normally.
It has literally taken me almost 8-9 months to fully recover from this god awful experience. I had to be put on Zoloft daily because I think this did serious damage. My partner has recovered also but is now very very cautious about any drug taken to be 'pure' MDMA. If you are even considering doing this drug - my advice would be don't do it. If you want to have an amazing MDMA experience - get it from a reliable source and TEST TEST TEST.
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