Citation: hardtomovepast. "A Truly Frightening Experience: An Experience with AL-LAD (exp104093)". Erowid.org. Apr 28, 2016. erowid.org/exp/104093
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This is a report of my trip, but that is not the focus of it. Three friends and I decided to go camping and take AL-LAD. We also had two sober sitters with us at the time. I will refer to my friends as A, B, C, D, and E. We arrived at the campsite in good spirits and very excited for the trip ahead of us. A, D and me took 2 tabs of 150mcg. C took just 1 as it was his first time tripping on anything. We dosed just after 5pm and went for a walk.
As we were camping by a beach, we decided it would be nice to head there. By 5:45 the effects were beginning to take hold, and as we made our way down the beach we saw the sun slowly begin to set. This was an incredible experience for everybody, and I distinctly remember D saying how beautiful the sky and beach were. The beach was a long thin peninsula, so we headed towards the tip of it. As we neared the end, D went from being fairly talkative to totally withdrawn. He had taken LSD once before and had had a good time, but the experience seemed to be too much for him.
At this point it was probably around 6:30pm. D began to say things such as “I’m confused” and “none of this is making any sense”. B and E were sober, and they did their best to help D in any way they could. D began looping and talking about random things, and at this point we decided to head back to camp before things got out of hand. Getting back with D was not easy. I was tripping fairly hard at this point and was struggling not to panic myself, so I stayed away from him for this part of the trip. He was being walked back by E who had his arm around him and tried his best to comfort D. D was unresponsive to any questions he was asked, but still was able to be escorted to camp.
After 7pm we arrived back at camp. C started a campfire and we all tried to relax and do our best to comfort D and ground him. However, things got much worse. D began to become extremely agitated and looped badly. He kept throwing things and repeating himself. Then he began to speak about how he was killing burning orphans in third world countries and how it was his fault. He also said he hated B. Then D began to say random things from his memories and that he was dying. As I knew him the best and had my trip under control, I took it upon myself to comfort him. I spent several hours holding his hand and telling him that he was safe, a good person and nobody was in danger or pain. Despite my best efforts, he did not seem to hear me and when he did he quickly forgot what I said.
Towards the tail end of the trip, he kept talking about how he was getting killed by a train and that there was blood everywhere. This was extremely hard to hear a close friend in such distress and I was unable to get through to him. Eventually I was able to plant the idea of sleep in his mind, and he slowly became less agitated. He was still saying similar things, but quieter and less frequently. Eventually he put his head down on a pillow and I heard him breathe deeply. I do not know if he was sleeping or just non-responsive but at this point I and the others decided it would be best to let him sleep. We left him to sleep and all talked about what had happened on the come down.
The next morning D was extremely withdrawn but totally responsive which was a huge relief to me. I spoke to him a day after and he explained what had happened from his perspective. D said that he thought we had gone camping at a lake in the future and saw himself getting killed by a train. He also said that he felt responsible for somebody else’s death and that was why he was getting killed and punished. Towards the end of the trip he said that when I was holding his hand he thought I was an angel guiding him to heaven. This trip was emotionally distressing for everyone involved, but obviously the most for D. I do not know what caused him to lost contact with reality, but it certainly gave me a new respect for psychedelics.
This trip was emotionally distressing for everyone involved, but obviously the most for D. I do not know what caused him to lost contact with reality, but it certainly gave me a new respect for psychedelics.
At this point he seems to have mostly worked past what I think may have been ego death or something similarly traumatic based on what he said about feeling other people’s pain and feeling like he died.
D said some other very personal things to me which I will never share with him or anyone else because I think those are his secrets and only he should choose to tell other people them. I guess that you should always be ready for anything when tripping, and even a stable minded individual can have a total loss of contact with reality. He said he will never trip again, and I think that that is probably the best thing for him. As for me, the next day was very hard emotionally after seeing him go through that. Even B and E who were sober were totally drained by the experience. C did a good job of comforting him early on before I took over, and A was tripping hard and did his own thing. He was the only one who had a totally good trip because he was able to do his own thing.
I hope that nobody has to go through what D did, but if you or anybody you know does, know that it will end and that it happens to other people. Happy tripping!
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