Citation: SilentRoller. "Changed My Life for the Better: An Experience with AL-LAD (exp103199)". Erowid.org. Feb 8, 2017. erowid.org/exp/103199
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This is a trip report detailing my most recent experience with 300ug of AL-LAD last week. I had been on a bit of a self destructive streak for the past week or two, having done cocaine the night before and MDMA on the 3rd of Jan (after a 4 month break obviously)
10:45am - Woke up from the night before, and opened the curtains to discover it was a gorgeous sunny day. After showing and changing, I decided I was in a 'fuck-it' mood, and as I hadn't done any AL in months and months, I almost on auto-pilot dropped 2 x 150ug tabs of AL LAD, the highest dose I had ever taken of this compound at this point. I had only previously done 150ug doses. Again, this was the self destructive streak.....
11:15am - I have ventured outside at this point and am simply enjoying walking around on this lovely sunny Sunday morning. I begin to feel a slight 'numbness' in my legs akin to pins and needles, and the bright sun is now even brighter to the point where I have to shield my eyes to see. Right about now, I decide to pop into the local spar to buy some food supplies for the trip, and immediately I notice that the interior of the shop is unusually bright, and the sweet wrappers seem to be standing out unusually so from the shelves to the point where I had to look away. It was almost like I was trying to take in too much 'visual information' at once.
11:30am - I bump into a university friend who is enjoying a morning walk along the promenade, and I decide to walk with him, as I thought it would be best to head up to an old castle, that overlooks the town and the sea (plus, its a beautiful place to sit!). The body load has become significantly more apparent at this point, as my body is feeling rather 'odd', coupled with a sense of time dilation. It felt like it had been 11:30 for about an hour....Again, the rolling sea waves and rising sun begin to take on a shimmer, and I feel compelled to stop and stare out to sea to simply capture this beauty. It's worth noting, I'm coming up extremely hard at this point, as I'm struggling to feel my legs (and body for that matter)....it feels like I have been lifted slightly above my limbs....
11:45am - I say goodbye to my friend, and I turn off the promenade to walk up a steep but short side path to where the old castle is perched upon a hill. It is here I realise that walking is becoming quite a challenge, and that my sense of time is gone. I don't know how to describe it any other way other than: If I am walking down a straight bit of road, it feels like I have been walking down the road for a long time, and the road seems stupidly long, even if the distance is actually quite short (I'm not sure if that makes sense, but hopefully someone will know what I mean)
Midday - I have reached the castle now, and I notice that everything is taking on a jelly like, wavy appearance. Looking out over the town, I notice that houses in the distance are starting to flow into each other, and that the few clouds that exist in the sky are starting to take on the shape of ships, as they appear to 'lift' from the sky and float towards my face (almost like a 3D film). I decide to put some headphones in, and take a seat in front of a WWII memorial monument that overlooks the sea and the town. I notice a few wreaths of poppies that have been laid to remember those who we lost. I smile to myself as I'm filled with a sense of pride, but also loss for the men who gave their lives.
I'm really starting to notice tiny details at the point, as individual blades of grass gently wave in the wind and the monument appears to morph and each individual stone starts increasing then decreasing in size. I'm struggling slightly with the body load, and I decide to take a seat on a bench in front of the memorial, as I 'm starting to get disassociated and confused in my surroundings.
12:30pm? - At this point, I start to feel rather intimidated, as I have lost all concept of time, and I'm struggling to see for the tracers
I have lost all concept of time, and I'm struggling to see for the tracers
and the fact that everything is wobbling like jello. I realise that I am trapped on this bench, as I lack the co-ordination to walk around at the moment - I'm struggling to work out what way is up. I decide to change the music on my ipod to something smoother I think I had hardstyle playing at the time), so I decide to play 'Smooth' by Santana. This eases some anxiety, and causes a huge surge of euphoria to come rushing from my toes to my head. However I realised that if I changed the song to anything other than the one playing, I got terrible anxiety, so I ended up listening to this song on repeat for the whole duration of the trip.
12:45pm - Things take a bit of serious turn at this point, as the visuals are increasing rapidly, and I begin to have no sense of my body. I start to feel overwhelmed and slightly scared, as I feel things start to slip. At this point, I'm starting to shit bricks and trying to stay calm by focusing on the music, but it just keeps building. I decide to take 2mg of valium to keep a lid of the anxiety (I struggled to even get the pill out of my pocket I was tripping so hard!). Thankfully this helped for the rest of the trip, and it didn't take away from the experience at all!
1-3pm - What happened between these hours will probably stay with me for the rest of my life. To begin with, it started like a time-lapse in a film, where I watched humanity re-build itself around the war monument. I saw children rebuild the pyraminds of Egypt before a tidal wave washed them away in front of my eyes. I felt as if I was sitting on this bench and the world and sped up around me, and I was watching history in fast forward. I then saw myself sitting in front of the statue with all the drugs and alcohol I had consumed over the past few weeks, and I felt a sense of sorrow and regret for what I had done.
Suddenly, I looked at my hands and they aged into those of an old man, as I was overcome with a feeling of intense sadness. I cried (god knows what I must of looked like if someone had seen me sitting on this bench - thankfully the castle grounds were empty!), and as I looked at the empty space next to me on the bench, I was overcome with sense of loneliness. A rose then grew from the handles of the bench, and morphed into my (now deceased best friend - he committed suicide 3 years ago). He sat with me momentarily and smiled, and all the sadness and anxiety that had built so far in the trip vanished. The horizon then appeared to split into two, with each mirroring the image of the other. This was rather disorientating, but peaceful. However, I found myself actually revolving around the statue whilst sitting on the bench. I can only assume this was some kind of 'outer body experience', as the ground actually started twisting and the bench I was sat on turned upside down.....
By now, I realised I was absolutely gone, and I had this feeling of being frightened and reassured at the same time.
I had this feeling of being frightened and reassured at the same time.
The monument was now morphing blowing with the wind and becoming detached from the ground. I sat in awe with a sense of nothing but peace. It felt as if my ego had dissolved as I watched the rays of sun arc above the monument as diamond fractals started to fall from the sky. Around this time, I decided to phone my mate who lived nearby and asked him to come and sit with me, and perhaps navigate me to another spot. I found it very hard to speak on the phone, but he was in good spirits and decided to come and help me and bring me food ( I had been sitting on this bench for hours and had forgot to eat!)
Around 3pm - My friend arrive with some food he had bought for me, and I asked him to perhaps take me to another spot so I could enjoy the scenery. He helped me down the steps of the castle, where I noticed that everything looked like it was drawn like a cartoon, and all the cars, buildings and pavements were cell shaded, but appeared to be made of play-dough. I found this rather amusing, but peaceful at the same time. A side note, I noticed throughout the experience that AL gave me slight kidney pain at some points, but I can't be sure if that was simply from not drinking at sitting for too long.
4ish-The sun was starting to go down over the seafront at this point, and I asked my friend if we could venture to the promenade to look at the sea. When I arrived I was struck with possibly one of the most incredible sights I have seen. The horizon had become like a fish-bowl (almost like a panorama image), and as I stood on the edge of the promenade, I felt as if the sea stretched out for miles, and that I could reach out (it felt like being in a giant dome). Coupled with the sunset, this was incredible!
4:30pm: We walked along the promenade and I began to see the wind. I saw the wind (visually) blow down the streets, and every object in touched swayed slightly. The clouds then opened and rays of sun arced across the seafront and formed a kaleidoscope fractal that resonated with the gentle gusts of wind. I have no words for this, and I doubt I ever will.....
5-6pm: Things are winding down now, although I am still getting some rather intense jelly like wibbling around objects, especially in my house. On the way back front the seafront, I saw my friend glow with a pink aura, which I associated with our strong friendship and the kindness that he showed me today. Unfortunately, the only down side to this trip report is that fact that upon arriving back at my house and attempting to tidy my room in a tripped out and vallied state, I dropped my remaining 15 tabs of AL down the toilet.
However, in a sense, that is immaterial. This trip taught me to not only feel better about myself, but also to love myself and others. Cherish my closest friends, and enjoy new friendships and opportunities that come along, as you never know how long they will be around for. I am happy to say that the afterglow of this trip was equally as amazing, and I actually flushed my last few bits of MDMA down the toilet, as it has removed my desire to consume any substances for a long while. I have never felt so refreshed and alive in a long time.....thank you AL-LAD
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