DOSE:

1 hit

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

Before I start talking about my first experience with LSD, I'd like to introduce myself first. I'm a 19 year old university student, studying chemistry. I'd like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent and introspective person. My previous experiences include marijuana and alcohol, both of which I used once a week until finding out what LSD was all about.

Now onto the actual experience: it happened on a regular Thursday (3 months ago). But to better explain the experience, we'll go a day back. I ran into a problem with two thugs; I won't go into details as that's irrelevant, but the important part is that I couldn't figure out whether that was simply a misunderstanding or something more serious. Anyway, Thursday is my last day of school - it ends at noon, so I practically have the whole day free. I had just finished writing a physics test and thought that why not 'relax' by trying this freshly bought LSD (the seller claimed that each blotter contained 220 µg).

Being careful, I had read quite a lot about both the physical and mental effects of LSD and I knew the trip would last from 6 to 12 hours, so I decided not to wait too long, because I wanted to have a good night sleep afterwards. That being said, I was done with everything by 2PM (T+0:00), at which point I placed the blotter on my tongue, held it there for a few minutes and then swallowed it. My mindset wasn't particularly great, because of the incident before, but I was also somewhat relieved having written the physics test well.

I spent the next hour sitting in my apartment, listening to music and talking to a friend over the Internet. Gradually, some kind of mild euphoria started to kick in and my mood went from neutral to excited. At this point (3PM, T+1:00) I thought I was in for a good time, so I decided to go buy some snacks et cetera to enjoy myself even more. I got up, went outside - nothing serious. Barely noticeable feeling of weirdness. No visuals yet.

3:30PM, T+1:30 - I'm back home and this is where it hit me almost instantly. I sit down and notice that something is off. I have trouble putting my thoughts into sentences, so I lie back and just listen to the music. Slowly, I'm starting to get visuals like my curtain's flowers start blooming, swinging, rotating, changing colors. Music starts sounding powerful, which is a weird word to describe the feeling.

4:30PM, T+2:30 - I'm having a full-blown trip, my mind is racing, but my mood is down. I'm starting to get paranoid. I'm trying to understand what's wrong and then a thought hits me: somebody is out there to kill me, today... tonight. I'm trying to put events together and draw logical conclusions, but logic had been washed down the drain. Nothing makes sense.

6:00PM, T+4:00 - I spent the previous hour somewhat 'lost', but by this point nothing in the world makes sense. I look at my clock, it says 6PM, but I can't understand what that means. What does it mean to have sit in one spot for a few hours? I try thinking what others are doing - some are probably coming home from work, some are outside having fun, but to me it feels strange. Why do people do it? Why does it not feel abnormal for me to be here doing absolutely nothing? I try to start doing something, but there's nothing to do. I don't understand what a hobby is - why do people even do anything besides eating and sleeping?

7:00PM, T+5:00 - My mind is absolutely gone. I don't even realize that I had taken a drug. It feels as if this is what it has always been. I had never thought that everything made me feel at least something (like being in my apartment, doing anything) - at this point I have no awareness of any kind. It is a bit hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. I realize that I'm in my apartment, but I can't grasp what that means! In essence, I'm given facts, like me sitting on the couch, but I don't know what to do with them. It's a void. I'm being tormented by the thought that there are people coming to kill me. Every car passing by or someone walking in the corridor sounds threatening. Every time a car stops close to the house, I think this is it - they are here. I don't even know who 'they' are or why they want to kill me. And the more I try to figure that out, the farther from reality I go.

10:00PM, T+8:00 - I'm starting to come back to reality. This may sound bizarre, and it is, but suddenly I realize that I'm me, I'm in my apartment and I had taken LSD. Suddenly my mood changes, I become happy. It's going to be over! I'm probably not going to die tonight (I still wasn't really sure if I was going to, but it seemed like, after all, there wasn't anyone coming for me). But I don't know whether I'm sane or not. I feel the sudden need to talk to someone, anyone who wouldn't report me for using an illegal substance. I go to visit my friend. I only sit there for 15 minutes, unable to speak. Every time they say something, my mind comes up with multiple answers instantly, but I can't seem to be able to form a simple sentence, let alone say it.

11:00PM, T+9:00 - I'm back home, almost completely relieved of my paranoia. I'm still having visuals - the curtains dance, text on the monitor is going in waves.

01:00AM, T+11:00 - I've spent a few hours just listening to music, watching a series (which looked bizarre, everyone's faces were morphing and conversations didn't really make sense). I try to get some sleep, but to no avail. The rest of the trip was somewhat uneventful, yet enjoyable. I was getting up to mild visuals until about 5AM and finally fell asleep at 7AM (by which point the trip had lasted 17 hours). I slept for 1 hour as I had to be at some place by 9AM. Surprisingly, after having gone through hell and high water and getting practically no sleep, I felt fine. I had difficulty talking for like 2 hours, but that is no surprise.

So to sum it up, it was hell of an experience. I knew 220 µg was a big dose, especially for a first-time, but I couldn't imagine anything that severe happening. According to popular scales and whatnot, my trip could be classified as a trainwreck/disaster. I feel otherwise. Maybe it was the incident with the thugs that set my mind on that track - I don't know - but I had gone out of my mind and as a result, I realized a lot. When nothing made sense to me, I realized that everything in our life is very subjective. The concept of life is only what we make it out to be. Nothing is set in stone. LSD, for a while, destroyed those opinions or 'guidelines' that were implanted in my brain before I could even think for myself. It expanded my mind and made me question many axioms of human existence. LSD destroyed pre-made logical assumptions and left me the freedom of reconstructing them myself as I see fit, thus making me more open-minded and closer to my real self, as opposed to the 'person' the society (including my parents) had built in me. It also proved that I can't trick LSD (or more accurately, my mind under LSD) - I tried to ignore and not think about the incident, well you understand how well that worked.

It has been 3 months since that experience and I have had a few more. I even went as far as to try 440 µg, which was an intense experience and did yield valuable results, yet was not as eye-opening as the first one.

Since my first trip, I haven't smoked any cannabis, have barely had any alcohol and drifted even farther away from tobacco (which I wasn't fond of in the first place, yet I used to smoke a cigarette or two a week). I have been searching for other entheogens since, seeing as LSD is practically non-existent where I live, I've been trying Datura; without conclusive results as of yet, mainly because I haven't tried it in sufficient doses - you have to be careful with that.

LSD did change me. I became more philosophical and more into abstract thinking. I don't know where this road will take me, but for now I am happy with who I've become thanks to Alice. It was hard and maybe unpleasant at that moment, but they say no pain no gain, right?

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 102231
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Dec 11, 2024	Views: Not Supported
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