Citation: K.. "A Step Into Darkness: An Experience with 2C-I (exp102031)". Erowid.org. Sep 26, 2018. erowid.org/exp/102031
||(powder / crystals)
2ci Was a Step Into Darkness
So it's the summer of 2013, and it's been a long time since I had been taking certain drugs, like mdma and smoking weed,and had very recently just tried 4-aco-dmt, which was a superb experience.
But I had never taken something that I considered seriously harmful or anything that really altered things to something at the level of 2ci, which is a 12 hour trip of nonstop hallucinations.
Due to some mild emotional reasons and the fact that I was home alone, one of my friends and I took mdma on a Friday and then the Saturday of the same week we took 2ci. Looking back at this, I think of it as one of the many factors that could have triggered the events that followed the day I took 2ci.
I had read reviews and a load of other things on the internet about 2ci, and it all looked like it was going to be enjoyable, I guess one could say that I wasn't in any way an experience user, and that when reading that 2ci was a 12 hours trip I didn't fully understand to what extent this was actually true. 12 = 12 no more no less... it wasn't like with mdma where one can speculate depending on the amount you took etc...
So the night of the Saturday my friend and I had got 2 full doses of 2ci in one water bottle, and it was something like 24mg per dose, and we were planning on taking half a dose to start off and then if it was going well we would take the other half.
So we sat in the living room of my house, waiting for it to kick in, and we were playing video games, I felt pretty exited and my friend did too, we were going to have a good night together just chatting, maybe write a bit, listen to good music and then live to tell the experience.
We had taken the dose at around 1:30 am (it was already Sunday) and 20 minutes after having taken the 2ci, another friend shows up, he is drunk and a bit stoned, and he had driven from a town that was 30-40 minutes away, which is irrelevant, but pretty strange.
We told him we had taken the 2ci and he didn't seem interested because he said he was driving back home in the morning and that it was a bad idea, which we agreed on, so we went down to the living room and that's when it started to kick in.
So I am talking with my friend and I start looking around and that's when it all started to come down on me. The lights had dimmed a bit and the walls became the stage to moving forms a bit like wind on curtains only that the moving wasn't noticed by shading but by a changing of colours, it went red green and purple. This wasn't an overwhelming trip it was more like when you run out of breath or scratch your eyes for long enough, but in those two cases it goes away, in this case it just danced about, everything had a watery look, like if water was jiggling on its surface.
The wall thing was very distracting , I looked around and it was all over the place, I felt very warm and giggly, and my other friend who had taken it started to feel it aswell but not in the same way, he said he felt warm in a very comfortable way.
I looked at the TV and the screen looked like if it was the surface of a box containing water and every movement that my friend made when playing would create ripples that dissipated in the screen, combined with the constant change of colours on the screen, going from red green and purple, a bit like a colour replacement of every colour in the screen, I found this amazing, it was funny in an inexplicable way to me.
We went outside to have a cigarette and it was then that I noticed that everything looked wider, in the sense that my eyes were in focus with everything, not just what normally is in focus, but everything around it, like a wide angle view, or in more scientific terms peripheral vision. Everything was in focus, and at the same time it seemed to hang in place.
I would lean my head one way and the walls would become concave and when I leaned the other way the would become convex, and the lights would leave a permanent trail , a bit like a those pictures where you see no cars, but you see the trail of their lights.
This was all fun and I was really enjoying it, but at the same time, when I explained what was going on in my trip to my friend, he told me he felt nothing like that, and that maybe I was exaggerating, which put me a bit off, and that's where things began to go wrong, at a very slow pace.
The friend who had driven drunk and high changed his mind and I gave him 1/3 of a dose. When I went back to the living room I felt uncomfortable, I wanted my friend to feel the same way I did, so we could enjoy it together, or have a similar experience and to communicate, but seeing as I was far from normal it was hard to concentrate on how I could help him out.
Eventually another friend showed up, and he was absolutely hammered and was on coke, he was all over the place, and we had met him before coming to my house, so he knew what we were doing.As I let him into the living room, he saw the bottle, picked it up and chugged an x amount of 2ci, took up one of the sofas (there were 2) and passed out.
At this point things started to shift. Seeing as I am writing this a bit after this experience occurred, I can only remember the 'key' points in this experience, and I can remember that it was at this point that it stopped being fun.
I was aware from before that when you take something like 2ci, or any psychedelic drug, you are more vulnerable to emotions and that if you are in a good place you have a good trip, and if you are in a bad place, uncomfortable, or with people you just don't really know, things become more confusing.
We were still playing video games, and since things started to become a bit stressful in my head, I just sat back and tried to get back to the same feeling I had before, seeing things in wide angle, feeling warm and happy. But I just couldn't.
What I started noticing was that the faces of all the people in the room became solarized, like if they were composed of multiple colours that didn't transition into each other, a bit like a topographic map of their faces divided in colours.
At around 5 am, I was walking around my house, and I started noticing that the place was an absolute mess, which never seems to really touch me when I have people over, but that day it did. I was all over the place, disorganized and sloppy, I was trying to put things in order, but it didn't seem right, I wanted to make it look like it was clean, but it wouldn't work.
All of a sudden I hear the doorbell ring, I am confused but I go ahead and open the door, and see my neighbor in underwear, he looked super tired and he tells me that him and his family have been unable to sleep because of all the noise we have been doing, and I told him we would keep it quiet ( we were playing the game on a surround system audio set at full blast...).
At this point, several things had occurred:
- The guy who had come over drunk and stoned was shaking and having a bad trip in my room, he was cold, even under a winter duvet.
- My friend who was initially with me was fine, but he looked grumpy to me, so I kind of tried to shut my mouth when I was around him because I thought I was pissing him off.
- When I get back to the living room the guy who is drunk and on coke starts coughing in his sleep and I turn around to see his mouth covered with foam and I wake him up only to hear him say 'it happens all the time'.
- The house was still a mess.
The sun starts to rise at about 7 am, and I feel dirty and I feel bad, everyone aside from my friend and I are asleep, and I am thinking to myself:
'You have stepped over the line, you have dragged 3 of your friends down this path with you, you have been taking too many drugs, you have been influencing other people into doing the same and you know it is wrong, you are a bad friend, when your parents get back they will know that you did this, you are ungrateful, what are you doing with your life, why do you have to take these drugs, why are you taking these drugs, you are a drug addict, you have a problem'
I could hear the voices of my parents and people saying my name around me, but I knew it wasn't real, but they sounded pissed off, and they said it over and over, and over,and it was clear.
I wanted it to stop, I knew that what I was feeling was influenced by the 2ci, but it wasn't helping me stop it. I got up and went to the kitchen only to find that I had used about 2/3 of the cups in my kitchen to divide the 2ci and that some had spilled, some had fallen onto a cleaning mat, and that this thing was all over the place,and that I had to clean it up, that only a small amount could make someone experience the same thing as I did, someone in my family would drink water or anything out of those cups and have a trip, I couldn't let that happen, and I tried cleaning the cups, only to find out that the thing I was using to clean up and dry the cups was also covered in 2ci from when we had spilled it.
I get a text from my neighbor saying to shut the sound off and to cut it out, in more expressive and less sympathetic wording. I went on to unplugging the sound system and putting the tv at low volume. I sat down on my own playing the video game as everyone had gone to sleep, I was on my own just thinking, how could I have fucked it this bad. Every emotion was times a thousand at this point, my nose had clogged, I looked in the mirror and I still had this wide angle view thing but all I saw was my face, pale and skinny, my eyes just tired, as if my body was spitting at me for what I was doing, I looked at myself, and I felt like my reflection was an en-angered me, just starring me down.
There was this feeling, that had kicked in from the moment the neighbor had texted me, a feeling that there was someone watching every move I made, that I couldn't see this see this someone, but that he/she was there, and he was looking down at me, and he wanted me to feel miserable, to feel bad, he was chasing me, and the feeling was something like when I got in trouble as a kid, that cold shiver on the back of your head, when you knew that you were in deep trouble.
I was alone, in my head, I felt empty, I felt useless, I felt washed up by my thoughts, I felt my subconscious attacking every thought I had and taking me to a deep corner, and bringing up every memory and every bad experience I had had in the past, and twisting it in my head to make me truly believe that all that was happening, all that had happened, was absolutely my fault, that my deepest personal problems, problems with my parents, problems with people in the past, were all due to my way of being.
I felt cold, I felt like I had been captured in a trap, en-caged and exposed, and that the 'game' I was playing, this experimental personality, that it had come to an end, that my life as I knew it before would not be the same, because I had nowhere left to hide, my mind was no longer my refuge.
This lasted for the rest of the trip, and when it went away, my friend had woken up, the guy who had initially been with me, and we went to the balcony for a cigarette, I said that I was sorry to him, and that I underestimated what was going to happen.
It's been approx. 3 months since then, and honestly, my life didn't change, and things are how they were before, but the truth is I don't think I will ever take 2ci again, under no circumstance, even if I was in a world made of pillows and that the sky was sunny, I would not take it.
I have experienced flashbacks going from millisecond flashbacks to full on trips (mostly due to smoking weed), the last one I had made me throw up, so it was something real.
I guess 2ci taught me that there are some things that shouldn't be done, and that my curiosity has to have it's limits when it comes to psychedelic drugs.
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