Citation: bedhead. "Non-verbal Communication: An Experience with MDMA (exp102007)". Erowid.org. Apr 3, 2017. erowid.org/exp/102007
My husband and I had always been curious about trying MDMA. We were never really into any “hard” drugs, just the occasional goofing off with a bit of weed or various painkiller pills here and there. But through the years, we had heard enough stories of glorious times had by friends with ecstasy, and it seemed that the basic principle of serotonin release in the brain was some innocent fun. I had found a friend with a connection to some capsules full of MDMA crystals. She assured me that she had tried them herself, and she was quite confident in the “purity” of the product and that it was not cut with any other substance. In hindsight, I should have bought a testing kit just to be safe, but we were too eager to set off on a new experience together.
We wanted our first roll to be mellow and laid-back, as we were not completely sure what we were getting ourselves into. The idea of experiencing MDMA for our very first time at a concert or party was a bit intimidating. So we decided to just stay at home during this adventure. We both came home after work on a Friday night, and ate a light dinner. We were in really good spirits and looked forward to this experiment as a fun and positive event. About two hours later, we put on a dubstep/drum & bass music mix, made sure we had plenty of bubble gum and chewy candy available if we started to grind our teeth, and took our 100 mg capsules. Then the wait began.
I had heard others say that their roll took about 30-45 minutes to come up. Once we had hit the hour mark after taking our capsules, I started to get a little disappointed. I knew that my friend had said to take them on a totally empty stomach, but I didn’t think the light meal we had would have delayed the adsorption into our systems that much. We still stayed positive and kept up a good conversation on light-hearted topics while we waited. Earlier I was worried that I would be anxious or nervous on the “come up,” but I was surprisingly calm, relaxed, and just focused on the present moment.
After another half an hour passed (T+ 1:30), I contemplated taking the second set of MDMA capsules we had. Maybe the pills we got were duds? Maybe we didn’t reach the threshold amount that was needed to set off our neurons and get the desired effect? I stood up from my seat to go get the extra pills when I noticed a telltale sign that things were about to get interesting: the skin on my arms and legs felt tingly, like light sparks were running up and down my limbs. I also noticed a cold, very slightly nauseous feeling in my gut.
Then several things happened all at once. I turned to smile at my husband, J, and ask him if he felt anything happening. But as I turned to him and saw the look on his face, I knew he was definitely feeling something. I then had an intense desire to hold him, kiss him and run my fingers through his hair. Even though we said no words in that moment, I felt a sense of connection and closeness with him. At the same time I noticed every bump and beat in the music was hitting me with a little shock of pleasure. It all flowed together into one great moment in which I knew I was starting to really feel why they called this stuff ecstasy.
I sat back down next to J and started to kiss him. Every touch was magic, like a slight little electric shock that felt amazing and long-lasting. I noticed that my eyes were wide open; I wanted to see everything and take everything in that was occurring around me. Lights around the house were more colorful, reflections from the full moon out the nearby window were sharp detailed and a beautiful blue color.
I also noticed that my mind still felt clear and sober. My consciousness did not feel fuzzy or inhibited like it does after smoking some weed or having a few drinks. I felt like I could have functioned without a problem in a normal setting in public. As the feelings of pleasure increased (about T+ 2:00), we began to grow more intimate as we were wrapped up with the sensation of touch. I have heard that some experiences with MDMA result in the inability to perform sexually, but J and I seemed to have no such problem. We went along with the beat of the music, sending waves of pleasure throughout my body.
We felt like dancing and just moving around afterwards. We chewed some gum to make sure we were not grinding our teeth too much. Every motion and flex of my muscles felt electric and alive, like a tickle and release. J started to warm up a bit, but I felt comfortable. We made sure to drink a bottle of water, but not too much because we knew the MDMA would make it difficult to urinate.
Overall, the peak sensation lasted about four hours. The comedown was really mellow and occurred gradually over time. In fact, the glow and persistent feeling of happiness lasted the whole next day. We made sure to take some vitamins and get enough to eat the next day, and sleep off the slight groggy feeling we had.
To sum up the experience, I would say it was an amazing way to feel more connected and in touch with the person I was rolling with, even if I was not really having a conversation at all. Also, all sensations were heightened and felt so good that all I wanted to do was run hands over my skin, wiggle and dance around to phenomenal music. I think that our “come up” took longer than planned because we still had some food digesting in our stomach, which slowed down the process. But in a way, that might have smoothed the transition, instead of instantly hitting a “wall” and realizing the roll has begun.
Next time I think I will refrain from eating at least 3 hours beforehand, and I might take just a little more than 100 mg for a slightly more intense effect. I look back at the experience so fondly that I worry that I might have enjoyed it a bit too much. For that reason, I will make sure I don’t take it more often than once every 6 months to avoid dependency and to keep the feeling “like the first time.”
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