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Journeys with the Sacred Spice: A Collection
DMT
by Cailieg
Citation:   Cailieg. "Journeys with the Sacred Spice: A Collection: An Experience with DMT (exp101884)". Erowid.org. Dec 11, 2016. erowid.org/exp/101884

 
DOSE:
  repeated vaporized DMT

BODY WEIGHT: 240 lb


-First Journey-

Method: Glass Vapor Genie
Amount: Approximately 10mg or so vaporized
Set and Setting: Comfortable well meditated head space, in my meditation room
Notes: Audio of trip recorded. 1 other present, spouse
Description: Fear Abolishing Comforting Reassurance

I began by setting up two vapor discs. We loaded 55 mg onto each of them as we knew we would not be finishing it in a go (two of us using the same discs, my partner and I) and wanted to allow ourselves some comfort room. I am very comfortable with vaporization. I use extract vaporization as a primary means of cannabis use, and am more than comfortable with my technique. I let the torch meet the element and began to get a nice thick vapor. On this first foray into the unknown I allowed myself only one smallish thick hit and held it for approximately 10 seconds.

I did not hear a sound, it was more as if I felt an oncoming vibration. The sensation grew in waves and I laid back and closed my eyes. It was as if the spice was showing me that it meant me no ill will. The experience culminated in beautiful CEVs and an overwhelming sense of comfort. Much like that feeling of deja-vu where when I meet someone I feel as if they are an old friend I am meeting once more.

For about 5 minutes beautiful mandalas of light danced with geometric frameworks that shifted and changed forms and a distinctly male figure echoed across the entirety of it as though they were watching me through the mandala wall. I felt overwhelmingly loved and reassured and vocalized this.

Upon re-entry to normal headspace I found all doubts and discomforts lifted from me and was truly ready to begin my work with the sacred spice.

-Second Journey-

Method: Glass Vapor Genie
Amount: Approximately 15-20mg or so vaporized
Set and Setting: 1 hour and 30 minutes after first journey, after another round of meditation, in my meditation room.
Notes: Audio of trip recorded, 1 other present, spouse
Description: First Encounter, One foot in, One foot out. Shown my first steps.

We began by changing discs, as we had each (my partner and I alternated) vaporized approximately 10mg or so off the first disc and did not want to run it dry. With a fresh disc loaded I sat down and calmed any pre-flight anxiety. This time I allowed myself two hits both held for 10seconds, both medium and comprised of thick vaporous smoke.

By the time I was inhaling the second the vibration was already growing in frequency and amplitude. My partner asked if I wanted a third and I declined and laid back.

This time the mandala wall was swiftly upon me and I felt as though I popped through it and into another locale where geometry was pristine, divine and in some cases downright impossible to comprehend. The colors were less kaleidoscopic and more hyper-real. However everything was fuzzy and I could not clearly make out my surroundings for about 3 to 5 seconds. It was then that I became aware that I was in a seated, almost crumpled position in front of someone who was sitting at a console looking over various readings. Suddenly he became aware of me and he rose to greet me.

I felt more than heard his words and speaking to him thusly was very natural to me at this point. He greeted me and told me his name. LŠohah, after I mispronounced it a few times he explained that the symbolism of the Š character was important to his name. That Laohah, Leohah. and indeed even Laeohah were incorrect. I apologized and he sighed and assured me he was more than patient with me, he had been waiting to be my guide on this journey for some time and was simply wondering when I would arrive. He then chuckled and told me I had now thought about breathing 3 times and that because of it I was only halfway through the door.

To my astonishment I replied, very vocally, 'I did, you are right, now that is rude of me.'

Chuckling he said, 'Yes it IS rude of you. But that is not something we have to work on, in the future just do not worry about your flesh, it will be fine.' This was the most vocal part of our conversation, and the part most associated with words. After that he indicated I should pay attention to what he was going to show me. He tapped my abdomen and my Svadhisthana Chakra appeared in a three dimensional window but it was damaged.

He told me that though I had awakened my Kundalini it was travelling a rough road due to things I was holding on to from my past that were affecting my sexual chakra. He asked me if the molestation that I had endured earlier in life had affected my sexuality in a negative way and caused me to seek some unhealthy aspects of sexuality. I admitted this was indeed the case. That sexual molestation had left me, for lack of a better word, kinky.

He informed that this would be the topic of my next journey, and that dealing with it would be rough. But that it needed to happen for me to more completely understand the work I need to do on that side.

He told me it was now time for me to go, to my embarrassment I sort of threw a divine tantrum. I waved my arms about and told him I did not want to go. With a smile he assured me that I would never want to leave but that my flesh, my life and indeed my place in the world would not sort themselves out in my absence and assured me that I would return again countless times in life and again in death.

I opened my eyes. A profound sense of peace washed over me. I cried. I smiled. I laughed and most importantly I felt truly alive. Kundalini energy washed over me in waves such as I had not ever felt and I simply enjoyed the feeling for the next twenty minutes.

-Third Journey-

Method: Glass Vapor Genie
Amount: Approximately 20-25mg or so Vaporized
Set and Setting: After an hour meditation, in my meditation room
Notes: Audio of trip recorded, 1 other present, spouse
Description: Svadhisthana cleansed, cosmic classroom under the great owl, purging, speaking in tongues, open eye breakthrough

Though this was by far my most profound experience to date I can only say that it is also my most recent and has truly lefty me with less words for it than the others. As LŠohah had warned me, it was rough.

I will never be able to be convinced open eyed breakthroughs are not possible, my partner says I was open eyed the whole time, and was rather 'movey' but I was not here at all, in any way, I had no body.

I took a very large hit, maybe an 18 second pull of constantly roiling vapor, (big lungs) a good 20ish plus milligrams on the disc I had loaded with 38mg (that first disc we both only took one light hit of) went down. I did not even have a micro second to think. The mandala wall slammed into me at a million miles an hour. I had no time to lay down, close my eyes, not even a second to think about not doing these things. Apparently I fell backwards pretty easily.

The next part is hard to describe so bear with me.

Impossible ever changing geometry everywhere, two large streams of consciousness flowing towards a single point and I hit that point hard. I am in class. Cosmic class, learning about soul choice and soul contracts. Great owl is teaching it, his eyes are galactic bodies, his patience infinite.

Everyone stops.

They are aware that me, now me, has come to the classroom. I came bearing something I was not supposed to. A hand appears. And it points to my third eye and tells me to listen. It tells me they know I am visiting but that the unpleasantry I am carrying is unwelcome even by my own soul in this place. I am asked if I am ready to let it go.

I start talking in a language I know as the language of souls, or at least the language they are speaking in this place. I answer their question and tell them I am ready to let it go. (I was actually talking aloud and have it recorded)

'SPIT IT OUT,' Owl says. In class I spit out an orange green glob that begins to unfurl. Physically, I purge. Apparently I turned right to the purge bucket.

'Look at it and tell me what you see,' Owl says.

The orange green glob blossoms into the sickened Svadhisthana I had been carrying and I feel my Chakra regenerate healthily (incidentally I came out of it and my kinks are gone, replaced with a passionate healthy desire for non kinky sex with my partner). I describe this to him, the entirety of it in that same language. (still talking aloud, to my puke apparently while waving my hand over it) And the class claps. Owl then explains that I signed up for this it is a part of my soul's journey that I came back to cleanse that here then and tells me to go after his lesson.

After the lesson about soul contracts is over, I thank him and explain that it has been a great pleasure, then I casually begin to walk back to reality. (now turned back to the direction I was first talking in and still talking aloud) Here is where I realize I had an open eyed breakthrough. Reality breaks through bit by bit and I start to see things in the room coming into hyperspace. Including my spouse who I once again saw with her furry caterpillar soul face. That I have seen before.

It was magnificent.

I am still digesting.

Most intensely visual, visceral psychedelic experience I have ever had and I know it was just the tip of the iceberg.

-Fourth through Seventh Journeys-

Disclaimer, what you are about to read is long and personally spiritual.

Namaste,

I find it hard to begin articulation of my last forays into the outer realms of hyperspace. But one thing is certain. I have found linearity in Hyperspace with an ever unfolding journey, each one building upon the last, and the same beings recurring at times with new ones appearing as needed. A proverbial hero's journey into the outer realms. My journey.

Much like is experienced with Ayahuasca, Mescaline and other Entheogens I am faced with my own turmoil, human flaws and errors and expected to come out victorious if I want to learn more of what 'they' have to teach. They being my various guides and the beings I have thus far met. The spirits and higher frequency beings, alien and familiar. And the lessons learned have been so very, very deep and have brought me closer to both nature and to myself, they have freed me from demons that have long plagued me and they have caused paradigm shifts unlike any other entheogen I have here-to-fore experienced.

Previously I summed up my first three experiences, culminating in the cleansing of one of my chakras that had grown sickly. It can be read above. What has happened since then has been nothing short of miraculous in my life and has been completely transformative.

First let me note one phenomenon that was present the entire time I would visit this school. As I enter it a stream of imagery, symbols and knowledge pours into my left eye. While the scene plays out in my right. My fourth journey began much like my others, with intent to hear what I needed or to see whatever the sacred spice wished to show me. This is vocalized in a ritualistic fashion as I load the spice. The room was cleansed, the singing bowl sung, and I sat down to begin. Two extremely large inhalations brought a full 30mg of medicine into me. And it began. Streams of energy and symbols flow into me and I'm through.

I was again back in the preparatory school where my previous journey had taken place. Only this time the being set to teach me was a hyper-dimensional being that existed as many beings in one room. It was very active with many arms and forms both invisible and visible as well as light ray limbs and sound based tools. Yet all were one within its room, the only beings in there save it were myself and LŠohah. It was very intense. And could easily be seen as frightening in its intensity, yet I had no fear.

It probed me and prodded me and declared me worthy. Of what I did not know. It informed me that what I had begun would begin that which could not be undone if I continued beyond its lesson. But that its lesson was the last step to me choosing if this was the road I wanted. It was not speaking about my use of spice but about how I would forevermore interact with those realms. It assured me I did not have to choose just yet. It asked if I was prepared for this lesson and gift.

I said yes.

My soul was laid bare. Energy poured through me like nothing I had felt before that moment. From Muladhara energy poured into me and I saw the beings with whom I used to astral journey as well as many of the choices I have made, both good and ill that weighed on my soul or lifted it. As the flow of energy continued to pulse through me I felt it move through my newly cleansed Svahisthana and light it up swelling it to normal proportions. What happened next was intense, and apparently my back arched as I wanted to wail and I inhaled sharply according to my partner. But it was not pain, it was pure intensity.

POP.

From Svadhisthana it shot through Manipura, Anahata and Visshudha like lightning. So many choices that affected these areas laid before me. And many of the ill choices lasting effects were expelled in that wave. It was like fire had flown into me and lit me up. I was alive. And then it began to work. So many arms and other things flitting into my body changing things. Priming energy points and testing them conferring with itself to assure it was doing everything that needed to be done with me. Along with this came the lesson. I was worthy. I had been chosen. But to know what I had been chosen for I had to choose based on this intensity alone. This pleasure and pain, this facing of my innermost demons and doubts.

I accepted. The two streams of energy information that pour into my left eye become four. I was told that my next journey would be at night when the sun was nowhere to be seen, I was also told to be ready, for the next stage could not be undone and would leave me changed forever more. What I would see could not be unseen. And all would be laid bare then.

As I came back to my body I lay there and I cried with ecstasy and joy. Sorrow for my misdeeds and humility for what I had been taught. And that was only the next stage in my preparation. I had not yet been turned loose into the realms nor even met any of my guides beyond LŠohah and yet I felt assured and at home. Like I had finally heard a voice that had been calling to me for ages
I felt assured and at home. Like I had finally heard a voice that had been calling to me for ages
, one I had ignored somehow for far too long.

My next journey would be 2 days later at around 11pm, after complete dark, in complete dark, as I was told. Night had fallen, my house was darkened. I loaded the spice in silence with only a crystal lamp as a light source. I was humble and asked to learn what needed to be learned see what needed to be seen.

2 large inhalations, 35mg of medicine.

My fifth journey begins. Black Fractals came flowing to me and washed over me, they were the most beautiful black on black on black fractals with silver, blue and green highlights and glowing symbols in them. Very much akin to the Secret Writing done by Allyson Grey. Through them I went and back to the preparatory school. A dark room with impossible geometry floating about it. A silver blue and green circle sits in the center of the floor. I stepped into it instinctively. I sense the presence of an entity but I cannot see it. It begins to speak to me. Four flows begin into my eye, doubling each time we spoke after the first.

Do you accept?

I accept. (Four)

Do you accept knowing you cannot undo what is done this night?

I accept. (Eight)

Do you accept knowing you will have to know me?

I accept. (Sixteen)

The sixteen streams become one, and we meet. Also note I was saying this aloud, 'I accept' 3 times.

Death, sweat death unfolded before my eyes. Laid bare, and showed me the truth of my old self. With a gentle hand, she touched my brow and I felt my third eye open. Light pouring out of it. I could see her face, and she could see me. I knew then I would never again fear her, how could I. Caressing my face, she told me that it was done, my eye was open and the old me had passed in many ways but was not yet ready to fully die and be reborn. But that the process had begun and she would claim the old me at my rebirth and would see me again then.

The teacher left and I was left with assistants. They played with my eye and showed me how to use it. They tested it and played optical illusions forcing me to see them with it. And once they were satisfied it was not going to close they bid me until next time. They told me I was done and could now begin my journey, but to note how things interacted with me as it would be different than if I were not on this path and that my crown would open at my rebirth.

Laying there eyes weeping, I simply said over and over again, 'I saw death and I accepted. I am to be reborn. I accepted.' it was one of the most beautiful things of my life. But what occurred after is what really astounds me. Words do not do justice what it feels like to have your eye open. What it feels like to again hear the call of the spirits and the voice of nature after having let life teach you to drown it out.

I also knew I no longer needed the 'primer streams' as I and hyperspace had attenuated to one another.

That night my partner also had a huge integration needed breakthrough and it would be the next day that I would again utilize the sacred spice, but not to journey, instead as sacred medicine.

Huge shifts bring huge change which brings new reactions to old things. Old stresses I used to deal with in an unhealthy manner now demand my attention in ways that I had not expected and the next day the same was also true of my partner.

UH-OH!

We had a discord moment and an emotional fight ensued. In order to not feed the chaos I felt the call of the spice. I moved upstairs with alacrity and partook of one small inhalation eyes wide open. The spice had called me and told me it would let me see the problem in a calm manner and find a solution and it did just that. The world calmed around me. I went downstairs and defused the situation and allowed us the days of integration we needed without the chaos of discord.

2 days of integration passed and things in life started to take on a new light. My spouse and I began to plan our life changes that would enable us to live the way we need spiritually while still maintaining the 'Even the Buddha does the dishes' attitude and began to plan a spiritual retreat into the wilderness for late this summer.

Crystal intent. My next journey was rough. Meant to be. I felt called to partake without any ritual whatsoever. 25mg broke me through.

Sixth Journey Begins. Back to school. Chaos in the classroom.

What was done cannot be undone.

I must have crystal intent.

That was the entirety of that breakthrough.

1 full day of integration later, I crystallized my intent. To allow the spice to show me what came next, and perhaps to meet some of my teachers should they be ready to reveal themselves.

My seventh journey began with a lesson shared with my spouse about singing bowls. She liked to ding the bowl then sing it. This produces a very subtly yet notably different tone than gently singing it to volume. I showed this to her. My intent was crystal and I had chosen to use one of our large crystal clear pieces of spice.

23mg was all it took. 1 small hit to begin and I could feel it coming on strong, a second and that was all it took. I did not once lay back, the entire trip occurred in lotus position before my singing bowl.

This one was....WOW. Again it was also proof that I open eyed breakthrough as much as I close eyed breakthrough, nothing I did with my physical body brought me out of the lesson.

Okay so bear with me on this one as it is still very fresh and will seem a bit less cohered in how I can relate it. I have been allowed now into Hyperspace. The last step was truly the last step in the school. I could see it behind me. A shining building of light. Owl was atop it watching me, a smile in his galactic eyes.

I turned to face the path ahead. Streams of jewel colored impossible geometry and energy flowed out before me in multiple colors and I began to float or fly up the stream. Strange beings are everywhere, some watch on serenely, vaguely humanoid in body they have heads of pure light and they are pleased to see I made it. Small elves dance and appear popping into and out of existence, using the fractals in the air around me as mirror doors to do so.

LŠohah suddenly stands before me. 'It is time to face it,' he sternly tells me. I know what he means instinctively and I know what to do.

All the beings watching on are excited to see how things will turn out. Energy wells up within me. My body purges, didn't notice. Energy again wells up within me. Head tilts, back arches and I started vocalizing, again didn't know what my body was doing. A shadow comes out of my eyes, mouth and body. Interestingly, later my partner, before I described what happened, asked what the shadow was that left me.

It was a monumentally bad decision that had brought this thing to me. And I now had to face it.

Some quick background. When I was younger and dumber, I played around with Theban script, Crowley-esque darker arts, Blood Magic and the Necronomicon. And though the book that circulates and has since the 90s is not any real sort of power, intent is. Numerous times while playing with such things I actively sought out darkness.

I knew I was going to face this shadow, what I did not know was how pathetically insignificant it was to me now. My guides, 5 of them rose up to stand with me. LŠohah and four who's names I know not yet. Here we are, a being of light and its 5 ally spirits and I am facing off a wisp of an impish spirit with red eyes in its smoky form.

Its eyes dart past me to my spouse. Who is on tape saying she felt an evil presence leave me, look at her and she noted how I responded.

My head snapped to it and I drove it to the opposite side of the space, knowing it was looking into the mortal realm to where my partner sat. I began to unravel its darkness with speech in a language I do not know. It flowed out of me and my hands began to contract in various symbols rapidly. And I tore it apart with light, in the end a confused spirit was before me who had likewise lost its way. With the shadow torn from it, it was free once more and it thanked me before moving on.

Cheers erupted from around me, not over my victory for they knew I could accomplish that, but over how I saved rather than destroyed. Healed rather than killed. They assured me I could very well have ended it if I had so chosen to see that as my path. But that I would have lost my way again had I gone that route.

Suddenly I am surrounded with entities great and small, geometric, fae, cyber, fractal, humanoid, insect, ancient. So. Many. Beings. I began to laugh ecstatically. They express an eagerness to one day meet me in person and get to know me, once I complete my journey of rebirth.

I turn back to the stream to find all but one of my guides gone. His name I know not, but I know him as The Secret Keeper. He has Six Arms and floats in lotus position, his bottom two arms constantly forming sigils. His skin feels orange, and is lined with script in a language I did not recognize immediately. His face is made of impossible angles and 6 eyes surrounding his third eye. It was he who taught me to speak in the language of spirit and he assures me one day I will be able to do it without his help. It is he who taught me the hand sigils.

He asked me to walk with him. As we moved up the stream of energy we had chosen to walk, he said he wanted to impart something on me. But in order to do so he would have to enter my sacred temple and would only do so invited. Our souls touched. I was not repulsed and so I accepted his gift. He entered me and I began to chant aloud in a different language swiftly, my hands moving like lightning through sigils. Knowledge of things I am still grasping poured into me. As he entered me I felt so much energy inside me that I felt like I was about to explode. I felt as though lightning should be coming off of me. He stepped out of me.

Coming back to Earth consciousness was beautiful and I could feel the energy of life around me for hours afterwards. I know now for what I was chosen. A path that has called me time and again yet been unheeded. My path is the path of the Shaman. I am new upon it, I know nothing. I have nothing to give save humility and a willingness to learn. Time and further meditation, experience in nature, journeying will continue. I have no ego in this, whether I will ever be a Shaman is as of yet unknown; I can only walk the path and see where it leads.

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 101884
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 35 
Published: Dec 11, 2016Views: 1,866
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DMT (18) : Glowing Experiences (4), Entities / Beings (37), Guides / Sitters (39), Multi-Day Experience (13), Relationships (44), Personal Preparation (45), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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