Citation: Lococo. "When The Universe Is Ready For You: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp100511)". Erowid.org. Jun 17, 2013. erowid.org/exp/100511
Dosage: 10mg (vaporized)
Preface: It was everything I could have hoped it could be, and nothing I could have ever expected.
My soul had been growing ever more restless as my life was beginning to pull back together. The universe has ways of letting you know you are on the right track; whether it’s little bits thrown at you, clever remarks thrown your way from random donors, or that weird comfortable familiar feeling that you are meant to be here, in this exact space, at this exact moment in time. Whatever it may be, I was certainly getting my taste of the universe’s interest of my being.
A good friend of mine, who I will refer to as Pete, told me one day that he knew someone interested in meeting me. He had told me previously that this friend was very much into rare and exotic psychedelics, and I was very excited. I had numerous mushroom and LSD trips under my belt, however neither of those wonderful substances could ever satisfy my hunger for the whatever it was I was seeking. They only seemed to prepare me for the journey I did not realize I would soon take.
At this point in my life, I was beginning to bloom. I had left my darkened, depressed stage behind, and for the most part, have been turning into more and more of a hippy every day. I had recently decided upon joining a homesteading community, a commune if you will, and would be throwing myself firmly into life in just a month or two. Being raised in a mainly conservative household, this was a huge step for me, but it felt right.
So back to it, yes, of course I wanted to meet this mystery man and his magic shaving kit. Pete and I eventually make it to meet this mystery man, 'Shaman' as he shall be called from this point (symbolic purposes only), and we met at his home where he was relaxing with his friend, Buddy. Shaking hands with Shaman, I did not realize at the time that two kindred souls were reuniting and we both soon found out his path needed to cross mine as much as mine needed to cross his. This is yet another wonderful sign from the universe. After a few hours of riveting conversation, and refreshing intelligence that I had not known for a while, it was becoming clear to me that Shaman was to be my spiritual guide. It became even more obvious when Pete had to leave and Shaman asked if I would like to stay. “Yes!” No way was I going to pass up what I was hoping to be the journey of a lifetime.
Sitting in Shaman’s space with him and Buddy, I felt right, I felt like I belonged there. Then it happened, Shaman offered me my journey in the form of 5-MeO-DMT. No pressure, he assures me that it was there if I was ready for it. I had heard plenty about DMT, but had only a slight clue of what 5-MeO-DMT was about from what Pete had told me. I excitingly accepted Shaman’s offer, but remained a bit tepid, knowing this was not to be taken lightly. He had a few rituals to perform, familiarizing me with the vehicle to the cosmos, cleansing the air, sending prayers to heaven, giving me the mantra (Breathe), that sort of thing. After I inquired about his experiences taking and administering 5-MeO-DMT, he assured me many times I would be alright, and that he was ready and qualified to share this with me. Shaman dimmed the lights, loaded that sweet 10mg into the pipe and it was time to go.
With sweet soothing sounds playing and only the glow from the stereo in the room, Shaman and I sat cross-legged on the floor across from each other, Buddy off to the side, every bit a part of this journey as us two. The pipe was lit, a long harsh draw that I fully inhaled and held in. Almost immediately my vision was assaulted by blocks floating in from the side and situating themselves in front of my eyes. Suddenly they disappeared and a great wall of multicolored rays of light came rushing in to meet me…and then the darkness.
I was lost, and didn’t know it. My soul had left my body and it was nowhere to be found. I’ve tried my hardest to recall that blackness, to try and remember if anything was to be found in it, but it was impenetrable and I recall absolutely nothing. Then I was abruptly thrown out of the “Moment of Darkness” as Shaman would later call it. My body was in a fit and I saw myself vomiting into my own lap. Shaman grabbed my knee and said, “Breathe” which had been my mantra going into this. Dozens of voices erupted around me, also telling me to breathe as if the spirits were guiding me along with my Shaman. After a series of intense, off-beat breaths, which were a battle, a test of my willpower…a test I was not going to fail, a sudden calmness hit me.
I remember feeling extremely hot, and as I took my shirt off, a cool breeze washed over me. As I laid my body to ground, I knew that there could have been no other outcome to that trial. This was what my soul had been longing for and this is exactly where I needed to be. For the first time in my life, everything was at peace. I was truly home, melted into the universe. The breeze grew and grew I had just tasted the Universe in its most raw, unadulterated form. All I could utter was, “Holy Shit!” Then Shaman replied, “Thank you!” The spirits around us all agreed, and replied “Thank you” with Shaman; then I joined them all and uttered “Thank you!” At some point I had grabbed my Shamans wrist and I didn’t want to let go, to leave home.
Eventually the breeze subsided and I sat up and muttered, “I’m back.” I looked down into my lap, and thankfully, there was no vomit there. I had been humbled, and I was terrified, ecstatic, and a million other feelings that I cannot even begin to describe. God, The Universe, The Great Spirit, call it what you will, it had taken an interest to me, and laid it out crystal clear that I was on the correct path. Still, I was rattled and there was nothing that could have prepared me for that.
The most profound lesson I took away from that experience was my Shaman assuring me that I could reach that place by sheer will, and that he does all the time. He told me it’s inside each and every one of us, it just needs to be practiced and honed like every other talent in life. All of this was told as we were sitting outside after the journey as I was still trying to piece it all back together and had just starting coming to grips with what happened, and it all hit me in a VERY profound way.
Life has a funny way of giving us exactly what we need, when we need it most. Out of it, beauty is to be had. Around a week later, as I write this, I know Shaman and I were meant to cross each others paths. We are, as he puts it, “Mirrors to see ourselves and reflect one another.” I know full well that my soul had been crying out to find this kindred spirit for quite some time. As I throw myself out to life, after acknowledging The Universe, and being acknowledged back, I have fill faith it will take me exactly where I need to be
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