Citation: SpeedBumpsRuinTires. "Wolf in Sheeps Clothing: An Experience with Cannabis (exp100385)". Erowid.org. Mar 27, 2020. erowid.org/exp/100385
Wolf in Sheeps Clothing - Experience With MJ
This is a review of my marijuana use. I am now 18 years old reflecting on two years of regular use which started in my sophomore year of high school. Over this two year period, I have had realizations and have changed a lot, in good ways and in bad ways. This is not a “fuck you” to all weed users nor is it a demonization of the drug. It is simply a first-hand account of the drug’s effects on one individual (me).
I was always a “goodie good” as some kids would call it. Early on, my friends were like that, too. I never had the desire to try drugs. My father is an alcoholic and most of my family’s youth is addicted to some sort of substance, so the want was never really present. During the summer after my freshman year, my cousin started smoking heavily and we hung out with him a decent amount. Despite this, I still never had the urge to try it, even while watching him smoke. My twin brother had tried it and had started smoking a little with my cousin. I still refused.
My twin brother had tried it and had started smoking a little with my cousin. I still refused.
My cousin and brother would constantly berate me with reasons as to why it’s the best drug ever, how it shouldn’t be considered a drug, the positives outweighing the negatives… typical pothead reasoning. I still wouldn’t cave.
I lasted all the way until the end of the summer. My best friend was staying for a week and I knew he smoked and I wanted it to be fun. So I tried it. And it was hands down amazing. We all ate and laughed all night long. The next day, I immediately wanted to get more. This should have been a red flag to me, but I disregarded it. This is when I picked up my smoking habit. I would begin smoking only on weekends, which helped to keep the drug’s dangerous/special feel alive. Throughout sophomore year, I would gradually increase my pot intake. This had only positive benefits. Throughout the next two years into the beginning of my senior year, I was in a great place. I was working out and managed to lose 50 pounds of fat. I was lifting and managed to tone up quite nicely. All the while keeping a strict diet and workout schedule. I knew where I was in life and I loved it.
The beginning of senior year was great. I got the girl of my dreams, one who I was chasing for two years. We were incredibly happy together at the beginning. The prospect of college and life all rushing toward me was starting to get hectic. I really started to mentally mature in this stage of my life. I was questioning everything a lot more; I was trying to find what makes me happy and what I needed to do. In short, I had to get my shit together.
I began applying for colleges, got accepted, etc. I was in a good place yet again. I eventually dumped my girlfriend after four months and started smoking a lot more. Bad decision. I was spending time and money that I didn’t have on weed. Weed became my new girlfriend, something I could put effort into and time into to occupy myself. My band broke up which shattered any hope I had ever had of making music professionally. My physical build was deteriorating because of the munchies and apathetic attitude that I had because of weed. Something I worked so hard toward was being torn down all for a quick high. I began hating my job and accepting the stoner lifestyle. I didn’t care about my future as long as I got high that day. This further deepened my depression and uncertainty in life which really took a toll on my mental state. The drug was changing who I had worked so hard to become.
A week ago, I realized that I needed to stop. Once and for all. I have learned that I cannot use weed, or any drugs for that matter, responsibly.
I have learned that I cannot use weed, or any drugs for that matter, responsibly.
I have learned that if you want something in life, you have to take great strides to get it. Put the work in, and get the good out. Weed creates a cloud where there are all of these paths I can take, I have high ideas and some of them are good, but I'd never act on them. Why do something when I can spend all day thinking about it? I have learned that sober living is the best way to live. I don't need substances to fill the void in my life. Anything that makes me feel good 2 minutes after smoking it is too good to be true. And when something seems too good to be true, it’s because it probably is.
Drugs aren’t keys to enlightenment. Drugs are speed bumps on the road of life. MY road. The less speed bumps, the faster I will be able to go to achieve my goals.
[Reported Dose: 1-3 grams per week]
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