Citation: Panic. "Unbelievable: An Experience with DMT & Cannabis (exp100357)". Erowid.org. Dec 4, 2020. erowid.org/exp/100357
May 5th, 2013 4:04pm my entire life change around, I had taken two weeks off of smoking everything. (Beforehand I was a heavy cannabis smoker & I quit smoking cigarettes because they're too expensive and disgusting to keep up as a habit) lately, I'd been having lots of inner issues with my mind and ego. So, my friend suggested DMT. When you are able to experience death and come back, needless to say... I was curious. This would be my first trip, ever. They'd highly recommended that I try Shrooms or LSD first, but I refused.
I wanted to be talked out of it subconsciously, because growing up I learned that anything that alters your state of consciousness, being, and or distorts your perception on what we consider 'reality', was considered a drug. Soon after, I realized that everyone will have to go through this sensation at least once in their life and told the person who had the DMT to give me a few weeks to get mentally prepared. So, I spent loads of time attempting to explore my inner mind. (which is laughable now)
The night before, I didn't sleep at all. Around 4am 12 hours before I had a panic attack and text person B a 15 page text freaking out. In short the message said 'I hate the person I've become, and it needs to change. I let myself self worth slip away and now I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore'. Once the attack stopped, I cleared my mind.
After doing research for several weeks and mentally preparing myself for the mentally/physically unknown, I was as prepared as I was going to be, and decided to finally take the dive. I took an Adderall before I was picked up at my house, then myself and three others ventured out into the middle of the forest. When there we smoked a joint along with a bowl or two of weed around 3:30pm. We traveled to this huge pile of fallen trees far off the beaten path and completely unrecognizable that it was a 'small fortress' from a distance. Inside these fallen trees was a little fort with log seats and a roof made of twigs and logs, the perfect place to trip. We sat down, talked for a little while and I'd started to get anxious, I was NOT prepared for this at all. Person C was there to be the sober one and take care of us in case anything went wrong.
As Person A packed the pipe around 3:59pm. I was nervous, extremely nervous.. I was handed it immediately, the last things I was told by person A were 'take a deep fresh breath after the hit, repeat to yourself 'let go'' so, I stared at the pipe unsure as to what was about to happen and afraid to take the hit. I knew that once I did, nothing would be the same.
So, I put the pipe in my mouth at 4:03pm and started to heat it up, I remember I asked what time it was, so I could measure out the trip. We also packed cannabis on top of the DMT as well. I got one semi-big hit and exhaled. Nothing but a weird taste in my mouth, I felt a slight disappointment come over me as I put the pipe back up to my mouth and took a HUGE second hit, I kept waiting for this sound that I was supposed to hear, and these geometrical shapes and patterns that were supposed to move that I've read so much about.
The birds were chirping around me, I could hear Person B + C talking to each other and laughing, trees rattling, and wind blowing as I focused on the pipe and taking the hit. Then, I look up after exhaling and immediately I knew my mind was no longer going to be in the state of reality anymore, I felt like I was in a dream and it was a wonderful euphoria, then the visions started to take effect. Immediately everything fell silent and I heard this humming noise that was getting louder and louder.
After I took the hit, I sat there with my pipe slightly away from my mouth, exactly as I'd had if after exhaling, staring straight in front of me. My friend had to take the pipe away. Person A then said something that has stuck with me ever since, 'I think he's gone' was the last thing I heard, and the last thing I was able to say 'see you guys later'.Everything was then incredibly sharp, but vibrating, distorting, and changing colors I looked at my friends and was fascinated with the vibrations. The first 15-30 seconds was intense hallucinations, I swayed my head back and forth as trails took over, everything flowed so perfectly together, there were beautiful patterns being formed everywhere and it seemed like everything was breathing and reaching for me. The ground was moving and everything I looked at had life. I knew I was no longer on this earth, and I felt myself start to lift and there was this flashing occurring all around me, I'd completely forgotten that I'd had a body, I had to remind myself. I was 50 seconds in when I started to see these shapes flash and spin around me. I looked down at the log across from me and was amazed with the colors and patterns flowing and ebbing beautifully. It was so vibrant and gorgeous. It was almost as if I'd never seen color in my life before. Person C had looked outside of where we were sitting to see if anybody was around, and sat back down. There was no sound, just a very dreamy high pitch tone. Once 60 seconds hit, the humming noise got so loud that everything started to vibrate so harshly, the trees reached their roots out to me, and I surrendered to it, then as if reality ripped itself apart and completely distorted what I once knew. All that echoed through my mind was 'This life is a lie' It was like watching glass shatter. And then, there was a tunnel of pure white. At the other side, it was the same forest where I had originally smoked, at this point I'd completely forgotten that I had smoked.
Have I died? Is this what death is like? Was I ever alive? Why did the idea of death cause this beautiful euphoria? Then I came to a large clearing where I met a man who was standing there. I asked him who he was and he identified himself as god, I then asked why he was here. He laughed and said 'I think you already know, I have much to show you. Welcome to existence, shall we begin?' This was the peak of my trip around 4:06pm. Only 2 minutes have passed since I'd smoked, and it felt like an eternity. I followed him and asked him questions about life, he told me I already knew the answers and to ask something worth while about my spirit and not my physical body.
I then asked him why I was where I was, at this point id completely lost myself and all sense of being, my last strip of humanity was pulled away from me. I was nothing, and I was everything. All of the sudden, without that man saying a word, he just smiled. Then everything made sense, this was a feeling of pure ecstasy and bliss. The man I was with then again laughed and told me that he has only begun to show me the universe. We got to this door, the walk seemed like an eternity. The place I was in had everything & nothing.. Everything was shifting and colors were forming patterns all around me. Once we got to the door he said do you have any questions?
The last question I had was 'so who are you really?' He answered 'I am you, I am your spirit, I am your mind, I am all around you. You are your own god, and you are in control of your life, I am merely the voice that guides you. I am omnipresent, but you are in control.' I had absolutely no words at that point, he then led me to this door and then said 'there's no reason for you to be sad anymore, we all reach the same fate. But, it is not yet your time.' he smiled and led me through this door. I felt myself fall back into my body around 4:10pm.
As I told my friend I was coming down, I still had slight visuals and I was sweating my ass off. Person A asked how it was, I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I had forgotten how to speak, the first words I uttered where '... I don't have any words' and put my hands over my mouth and nose, and started to bawl my eyes out as I repeated 'There's no reason to be sad anymore.' and that was the happiest moment of my entire life. Person B kept asking to give me a hug, but I didn't want to be touched. Person C listened to me spit out random bits of information for about 30 seconds. He had told me everything that I just experienced was completely normal. I began to question everything around me, I felt my arms and my legs again at this point. I asked my friend how long I was 'gone'. Person C replied 'A little less than 10 minutes' At this point it was 4:16pm. I was speechless, no words could ever begin to describe the emotion that was feeling at that time. The visuals continued for another 6-7 minutes afterwards as well, in which we were walking around.
I didn't say another word for a good 20 minutes, admiring nature and trying to pull myself together. Just attempting to understand and fathom what had just happened.
I was alive, for the very first time. The next morning I woke up, and had the most beautiful day of my entire life. Since the trip nothing has been the same, but in the most beautiful way. I am more in touch with myself, my spirit, my mind, and my ego.
DMT has completely changed my life, in the best way possible.
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