Citation: rainbowrider. "Worst Trip Ever: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp100170)". Erowid.org. Dec 9, 2013. erowid.org/exp/100170
A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]
I am submitting this report in hopes that it will help at least one person avoid the experience I had, and that if you are attending festivals this summer you will be wary of blotter on big hits that tastes awful and makes your tongue go numb. I shudder to think what could have happened to me had I been in a more public setting. I am not on any medications and the only other substance I ingested was a hit of marijuana prior to dosing.
A bit of history...20+ years of psychedelic use, including LSD, mushrooms, mescaline, 2ci, ketamine, MDMA. Few bad experiences when I was still in my teens that I attribute to set/setting. Since I developed a respect for psychedelics, I have had nothing but positive and enlightening experiences, excepting the one I am about to describe. I limit my trips to less than 4 times a year, mostly as a cleansing/re-orienting exercise. I try to be very careful with dosage, sources, who I trip with and where. In fact, I have usually thought that people who had bad trips were not being responsible and treating these drugs too casually, i.e. taking them with other substances, in highly variable settings with lots of unknown people/circumstances. I know now that this may not be the case and I hope to warn people like me who feel confident that they can handle a variety of substances with impunity if they are getting stuff from someone they trust.
A close friend, we'll call him Jay, told me that a mutual friend had come into some acid that he was looking to test out, and was giving free doses to 'testers'. On a beautiful Sunday afternoon we decided to guinea pig this stuff, and went to his house. We were relaxed, had just finished a late brunch, and I had completed my exams which meant that a lot of pressure was off. A few other friends were hanging out there, some of whom had already tried the 'acid', including our host. I asked our host, who I will call Ben, what his experience was like, how visual it was, duration, intensity, whether it was speedy, how clean it was, etc. He gave somewhat vague answers that he thought it was middling--sort of visual, not too speedy, lasted about 6-8 hours, nothing too intense.
Expecting a fairly mild trip but realizing that everyone responds differently, we decided to dose. The first thing I noticed was that the blotter hits were very large and that mine was much darker than Jay's, but they said it was owing to the tie-dye print on the sheet (I did not see the sheet). I didn't think anything of it at the time. As we put them in our mouths we both remarked on how bitter and awful tasting it was, and Jay swallowed his with a mixed drink while I stuck mine in between my lip and gum, a habit I picked up years ago when dosing to get the maximum effect of whatever I am taking. I wish I had just swallowed it!
Within 20 minutes my tongue and mouth felt numb and I asked if anyone else had experienced this effect, and said that both the bitter flavor and the numbness had me thinking this was not LSD. Ben conceded that he had entertained the possibility that it was an RC and another person there, Abe, said he experienced the same thing, but he was the only other person who had the numbing effect. In the next hour or so we sat around conversing, Jay kept pouring drinks despite my concerns and asking him to slow down and wait to see what effect the drug would have on him. I refused all offers of alcohol and marijuana after I dosed, and did not drink beforehand. We were the only 2 people who dosed.
At about the 1.5 hour mark I began to feel increasingly overwhelmed, and noticed visuals coming on. At first it was just shifting in light and color but then patterning began to get heavier--fractals, neons, tracers, etc. Though I was still talking to my friends I was finding it hard to maintain my focus and kept trailing off and losing my train of thought. About this time I asked Jay how he was feeling and he said he could feel no effects whatsoever, so I followed Ben (our host) inside and asked him to tell me again what his experience was like on this drug. As we were talking, in the space of about 10-15 min, the visuals became so heavy that I was having trouble seeing, objects were wavy and patterning and colors were very heavy, to the point where it almost hurt to see and made it difficult to focus on any one thing. Very much reminded me of the effect of rotoscoping. Though I am an extremely visual tripper, almost always getting visuals even when others on the same drug/dose do not, I have never experienced anything close to that level of hallucinations even on high and mixed doses of LSD/mushrooms/mescaline. I wanted it to stop and at one point said how I wished to be in an all white room.
I realized that I was having trouble keeping my balance and my thoughts were starting to become anxious and a bit panicky, and I was not able to control them. I told Ben and Jay I was concerned to be getting this effect from one hit. I removed the blotter paper from my mouth, feeling that I was losing control and hoping to somehow stop the train I was on. Both Ben and Jay assured me that I was fine, that I seemed coherent and was describing things in a way that made sense, and that these effects would subside soon. I told them that I needed to contact another trusted friend, Dane, who I have extensive experience tripping with and who lives nearby. I was barely able to operate my cellphone, due both to the visuals and my inability to function in general but managed to text him that he should contact me asap.
We returned outside and I asked Abe to give me more details about his experience and he said that he had found it to be intense and way more than he expected for two hits. He said he found himself having to get away from everyone and that it lasted for several hours but that it was okay. I sensed that he was trying to reassure me as it must have been clear at this point that I was having trouble managing, but he stopped short of evaluating the experience overall as good or bad--he did not describing it as enjoyable, however. By this time there were other people showing up at Jay's house who were not that intoxicated and I felt them observing me. I was talking about all manner of intense emotional and personal subjects that I would not have ordinarily been exploring in mixed company. I remember crying at one point, and then becoming relatively calm and lucid again. Peripherally I sensed that even the people I was talking to were becoming uncomfortable, but I could not control my thoughts or stop verbalizing them. Because Jay never felt any strong effects from dosing, I was the only one in this state.
As I became increasingly agitated I realized I had left my phone inside and went to get it, and saw with relief that Dane had called me back. I walked away from the house and called him but again was having trouble operating my cellphone--I kept accidentally hanging up before/just as he would answer. I wandered onto some train tracks and almost as soon as I was out of sight of my group and the house I began to sense I was being watched. My attempts to contact Dane became more frantic as I became aware of sirens and lights from both ends of the tracks (they connect to well-traveled streets at either end). Thank god I was finally able to get him on the line as I dove down a gully, convinced that I was being pursued by the police. Crying and now in full-blown panic, I tried to explain that I had been dosed with a very large amount of LSD (my only explanation was that I must of gotten a bunch of hits on one) and I was not handling it well and now the cops were after me and could he please come get me? He asked me where I was and I tried to explain it, but it took several minutes as I worked my way down into leaves and fallen branches, desperately trying to conceal myself from the authorities that I was sure were closing in on me. I asked him if he could hear the sirens (he lives about a mile away) and he told me he thought I was hallucinating. I did not believe him and had a sense of menacing forces drawing tighter. I repeatedly begged him to come despite the fact that I knew there were authorities and that he was risking his own safety to do so. He assured me he was on his way but at this point I had no concept of time and felt like I was in a crime drama where every second counts. (Note: there were never any cops or sirens or lights.)
The rest of the trip is hard to describe, because I had several black-out periods during it, so some of this is from Dane's recollection. Somehow I had the sense that I was being punished and that I was being brought to reckoning for not being a law abiding citizen i.e. ingesting drugs. I felt that this was not only happening in this current setting and dimension, but on a much grander scale that transcended lifetimes, that there were forces out to get me who were sending the authorities to make sure that I would be publicly humiliated in a way that would also punish my family and associates. I felt that this was just a prelude to my death whereupon I would be faced with much more serious struggle that I would not be able to escape by dying.
Finally Dane reached me in my hiding spot and managed to coax me out. By this time I was terrified, hysterical, and still hearing sirens and seeing flashing lights, and not convinced that Dane was not leading me into arrest. This is a trusted friend I went to high school with, who I trust with my life, but who at this moment had to repeatedly and calmly assure me that he was not drawing me out of hiding only to turn me over to the police and/or mental health professionals. Luckily he was parked nearby and it was a short (but harrowing) walk to his car, during which I practically hid behind him while clinging to his arm because I felt certain that there were people watching me and about to come drag me away to an asylum/jail. I pleaded with him over and over again to promise me he was not taking me to his car only to drive me to a hospital.
Once we got into the car I began telling him that I was sure that the world was ending tonight, that we must contact everyone we could and prepare for Armageddon which was imminent and would involve all of us dying and then fighting evil once we crossed over. For the record, I am agnostic/spiritual, not at all religious, and have no solid ideas about what happens when we die. During this time, however, I felt I possessed the knowledge of past and future lives, everything seemed to be existing all at once and extending into infinity. I saw the world ending and wanted to rally troops to take up the fight as warriors in an epic battle of good and evil. I saw past this dimension into a vast and unknown realm that was space-like and barren, populated by highly intelligent beings who intended to see if I or anyone I knew was worth preserving and that I would be forced to prove it somehow by justifying every decision I had made in my life. I was scared and exhilarated at the same time, feeling that I understood death and that I was poised to cross over to another dimension where time and space do not exist, only energy. During this time I did not stop talking, my heart and mind raced from one idea to the next and back again, with strong themes of war, violence, poverty and the evils of capitalism.
Back at Dane's home, I talked continuously for almost 3 hours on these themes, interweaving stories from my own life with messages that I felt I was being given by some otherworldly being(s) about the whys and wherefores of the injustices on this planet, karma, reincarnation, etc. Again, I am not committed to these ideas as truths in my regular life. Some of this I can relate back to ideas and concerns I have when I am sober, but much of it seemed to come from someone/somewhere else. My body temperature varied widely from hot to cold, I was thirsty and could not seem to quench it no matter how much water I drank. My own self and body seemed dissolved, there were several instances where I could not be sure where I physically ended or who I actually was, if the person I thought of as 'me' really existed.
After about 5-6 hours into this trip, I began to slowly calm down and return to a base state mentally, though I was still having a lot of visuals. Once I did I realized I had only the outline of a recollection of what I had just said and thought, even though I was urging Dane to contact other friends and spread my 'message.'
I can only say how grateful I am that he was there and did not allow me to call people like my mom (!) and gave me a safe haven to ride it out. Though I did not go to jail or the hospital, I am convinced I would have had I encountered anyone else, and possibly even if I had just stayed at the house where I dosed. Though I have articulated this in the most rational way possible, I hope I have conveyed a fraction of the terror, paranoia, and fear that engulfed me for several hours as I completely succumbed to the delusion that I was about to die and crossover to another reality devoid of compassion, love, or light.
I had a series of nightmares following this experience where I was back in this frantic head space which led me to research what else it may have been and I believe that it was some sort of Nbome, most likely 25i. Though I found the whole situation bizarre, confounding, and embarrassing, I swallowed my pride and went back to Ben and told him what happened and that I knew this wasn't LSD and that he should do some research before giving it to anyone else. Whether I somehow got a double or quadruple dose, or no one else has kept it in their mouths long enough to get the full effect, or I am simply extraordinarily sensitive to this chemical combination, I feel strongly that no one should take this expecting an acid trip. Of course Ben seemed to regard my experience as an anomaly and my concern was met with some level of skepticism because of the handful of others who have taken it and not
had such an experience. I also concede that this all may have been avoided with a different set/setting; I had been expecting a relatively mild acid trip on a Sunday afternoon.
I have never posted to a forum and do so now only to warn others that there is a strong potential for a bad trip with this drug--that it is highly unpredictable and can catch even the most seasoned psychonaut off-guard and lead me down a rabbit hole I did not want to explore, no matter my level of curiosity. I worry that the increasing prevalence of this drug, and especially it being sold as LSD, will lead to many unintended consequences. My story is an example of what can happen even when you are well-versed in such realms, in a relatively low key situation, and buying from someone who is also experienced who you think you can trust and who claims to know what they are selling.
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