Social Kapital and The Void of Repression
Ketamine
Citation:   themarquisdeshade. "Social Kapital and The Void of Repression: An Experience with Ketamine (exp110172)". Erowid.org. Aug 18, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110172

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
100 mg insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:10 100 mg insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb
T+0.00: ~100 mg Ketamine HCL insufflated

T+0.10: ~40 mg Ketamine HCL insufflated

(140 mg total)

Gender: Male

Weight: 142 lbs

Prior substance use: Started intensive phase of psychedelic use recently to achieve a variety of ends, typically a serotonergic psychedelic, at minimum once per week. Prior history with most intoxicants advertised via the D.A.R.E. program.

I had weighed out 100 mg of very pure Ketamine earlier in the night - along with a second booster dose of 40mg, which I planned to promptly ingest after the first effects of the ketamine were felt. For mood music I decided to listen to Yureka Cash’s Social Capital cassette tape on repeat via my tape deck which allowed for an unending recycling of the program (which itself repeats on both sides.) At least I think that's what happened.

03.05 (T+0.00): Snorted ~100 mg of Ketamine in right nostril. It tastes like shit (T+0.01).

T+0.06: Starting to feel it come on, and decide to make sure the cassette tape is cued properly before I lose motor control.

T+0.10: Insufflate 40mgs ketamine. Press play on cassette recorder. Lie back in my bed.

T+0.11 I’ve lost track of my visual field, or at least it is sufficiently removed from the forefront of my first defense perception strategies. I hear odd sounds though. Could these be from the recesses of my subconscious? Hard to say really. Thick dark bands of frequencies I’m not used to seem to slam down and around, inter spliced between half-thoughts of repressed sexual inadequacies, stuttered, warbled, always trailing off... these half-thoughts engage in a dialogue with my detached ego, now pretty indifferent to the lack of logic I’m swimming in. It all seems very spliced and hectic and dada - I’m definitely starting to come up quickly.

At T+0.20 I get it right between the eyes and the familiar sound of an internal monologue is reduced to the Key of HAL’s Daisy. I can only see that I’m the deepest black tar, melting across hot black pavement, indefinitely, forever. There’s suddenly altogether new and distinct voices (male and female) - am I remembering a social situation I was recently trying to forget? Did my friends decide to come over to see how I’m doing, only to find a puddle of me, alone, on my bed, whacked out on cat tranquilizers, listening to…

T+0.21 THE TAPE!! Oh yes, I’d put on the Yureka Cash tape. The voices are all pitch shifted and warped beyond detail, and ideas drift in and out slowly.. I stagger to see if the tape is in fact still playing or if this recycled anti-social detritus is really just fragments from bouts of co-dependent paranoia I could hardly recall once being paralyzed by.

T+0.22 Catch it right between the eyes. Everything goes black. Not sure if that last voice was a boy or a girl. Or if I even remembered to press play.

T+0.55 Coming out of the fog now, but I still can’t place where this churning dis-ease is coming from. Outside? Is this really all just the cassette I put on before leaving for the laugh factory? Should I ever dare listen to it again? Or is it possible these sounds really were the hostile fantasies barred indoors only to play when the proper lunar cycles, cassette decks, and dissociative anesthetics were coordinated properly.

OVERALL:

Ketamine HCL (insufflated): 4/5

Yureka Cash - Social Capital (CS): 4.5/5

Exp Year: 2017ExpID: 110172
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Aug 18, 2017Views: 1,618
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Ketamine (31) : Music Discussion (22), General (1), Alone (16)

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