Comments on: To Believe or Not to Believe https://www.erowid.org/columns/teafaerie/2009/11/02/to-believe-or-not-to-believe/ Psychedelic Musings from the Center of the Universe Wed, 23 May 2012 05:19:48 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.5.1 By: Rio Gordon https://www.erowid.org/columns/teafaerie/2009/11/02/to-believe-or-not-to-believe/comment-page-1/#comment-4978 Wed, 23 May 2012 05:19:48 +0000 http://www.erowid.org/columns/teafaerie/?p=14#comment-4978 Thank you very much, wonderful Tea, for your scintillating and fearless expose into the nature of altered consciousness through whatever means. While I find it true (whatever that is perceptually) for me to hold stock in the ‘experiences’ being valid and learning how to ascribe them some meaning and oratory without riding the crazy fence, I can see that being difficult for many. For instance, on both ayahuasca and smoked DMT, I have definitely (I believe) physically traveled to other real dimensions which were not constrained by the physics of this one, and were so totally foreign, while simultaneously clear, that I had no choice but to revel in the experience of it, and feel the thriving of that validity, no matter the consequence to my consciousness. Maybe integration of these experiences is a learned aspect or perhaps it is a genetic predisposition. Or maybe it is born of a strong desire to build beliefs around around tangible body experiences. In any case, my efforts to understand the creatures that I have encountered and the purposeful work they seem inclined to be carrying out has led me to stumble upon deep realizations about my own psyche and patterns. Could it all be the depths of my imagination conjuring memes and modalities and themes to guide me along a path using universally human symbols…if so, why are they so universal among users, so foreign, and so damn different with every journey? That said, even the seperateness of our perception is a huge mystery. We have absolutely no guarantee than any other individual perceives anything in the real world as we do…we cannot even correctly define what we look like to another, or what color our hair is…the singularity of perception allows for this disparity. So, in all this muck of unknowns, when something universal and tangible presents itself over and over, can we not ascribe a kind of validity to it, even if it is just a Jungian message from our addled psyche?

All in all, I believe in other dimensions, in strange unknown creatures, monsters, aliens, spirits, ghosts, angels and demons and Im OK with it. Im not riding a one way train to schizo-ville, and I am absolutely unconcerned with anyone’s opinion about my perception. Still, I have learned just to own my integration and not waste excess time trying to proselytize and dilute the uniqueness of my experiences (perceptions) for another…I can only sit quietly with them as they take the same course of action or medicine, and listen carefully to what they perceive. The totally nuts part is when they come back drawing similar creatures, describing similar patters, or having received similar messages, even when they have no pre-context with which to build the perceptive set. I am most blown away when i see the amazing Visionary Art of my friends and colleagues and the images are exacting reproductions of my own perceptions…now since perception is so fallible and undefineable in its specifics, how could it be that two sets of variant perception would conjure the same entity, wearing the same clothes and jewelry, holding the same weird whats it tools, and chirruping in the same foreign, non-verbal, tonal tongue? The only thing that gives that a sensical and logical, thereby ‘safe’ conclusion is that it must be as real as anything in the eyes open realm. I struggled with this mightily for a long time in my medicine work until one day, the spirit of the DMT, audibly in my physical ears, told me “Open your eyes boy, use your senses” and my ‘hallucinations’ if that be what they are, went off the richter in richness and variety and personality.

I have been forcibly confronted by all kinds of entity energy, some in dreams, some in hypnagogic states, most in the throes of psychedelia, and my only conclusion is to believe. Interestingly enough, in my milieu, I make this choice for the same reason you choose to refute the ‘reality’ of the images and ideas. That being that for me to refute and deny these experiences would drive me to the crazy house, not the other way around. Also, what you are describing in your article has much to do with the failure of being able to fit into a functional society in regards to relating the experiences. The simple solution is to not share them, keep them as your treasure, and try to make them part of a functional, albeit private worldview…its worked for me, and allowed me the vagaries and subtleties and ‘realness’ of the Visions, without the scandal and ridicule.

Perhaps in fourth dimensional space someday, all of this will be confirmed, or perhaps not…what I know is I get to choose what works for me, what inspires me, and to decide what I feel is functional, powerful, and beautiful. Thanks for the enlightening, superbly written exploration of this somewhat maddening concept. Botoom Line? integrate for you, and ignore all the rest. mahalo dear one…namaste

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By: Kaleb https://www.erowid.org/columns/teafaerie/2009/11/02/to-believe-or-not-to-believe/comment-page-1/#comment-4977 Wed, 23 May 2012 04:38:36 +0000 http://www.erowid.org/columns/teafaerie/?p=14#comment-4977 Teafaerie, you is so lovable! :)

Although, if one’s beginning to question their own sanity, the single worst thing I can think to do would be deciding to doubt your own perceptions.

I decided, early on, to accept myself and my experience as legitimate and meaningful. Thank God! I’d hate to have to rely on anybody to give me “permission” to sense what I sense, sober or not.

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