{"id":5,"date":"2004-05-18T18:19:36","date_gmt":"2004-05-19T01:19:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/?p=5"},"modified":"2004-09-12T16:48:18","modified_gmt":"2004-09-12T23:48:18","slug":"im-bored","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/?p=5","title":{"rendered":"I’m Bored"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019m bored. We should do something fun tonight.\u201d
\n\u201cYeah. You want to watch a DVD?\u201d
\n\u201cNah, that\u2019s all we ever do.\u201d
\n\u201cWe could go out.\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t feel like it.\u201d
\n\u201cAh, you know what\u2026 we should do some drugs.\u201d
\n\u201cHmm.\u201d
\n\u201cCome on, when was the last time we did any drugs?\u201d
\n\u201cWell, I\u2019ve been busy.\u201d
\n\u201cI know. I think that\u2019s part of your problem. You need one major psychedelic trip every three months or your brain rots.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat would we do?\u201d
\n\u201cWe could do acid.\u201d
\n\u201cWe don\u2019t have any acid.\u201d
\n\u201cWe don\u2019t?\u201d
\n\u201cNo, nobody has acid any more. There hasn\u2019t been any acid since before Jerry Garcia died.\u201d
\n\u201cWe\u2019ve done acid more recently than that.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, it just seems like we have. Acid is a tricky bastard.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat about MDMA? We haven\u2019t done that in a while.\u201d
\n\u201cThe reason we haven\u2019t done that in a while is I feel cracked out for three days afterwards and I can\u2019t concentrate at work and I can\u2019t get the sound of thump thump music out of my head.\u201d
\n\u201cRight, but it feels good before all that.\u201d
\n\u201cIt feels good in that sort of \u2018I know this is supposed to feel good, so I\u2019m going to just go ahead and enjoy it, even though my body is very tense and my jaw hurts\u2019 kind of way. It feels good in reference to other times that it felt good, mostly.\u201d
\n\u201cHow about mushrooms?\u201d
\n\u201cMushrooms are creepy and dark.\u201d
\n\u201cWell, sure, if you take an enormous amount and wear a blindfold.\u201d
\n\u201cBut if you take a small amount and don\u2019t wear a blindfold, you just have mild intestinal discomfort and a slightly distorted view of the apartment.\u201d
\n\u201cOK, how about AMT? You love AMT.\u201d
\n\u201cI do love AMT. I just don\u2019t happen to have three weeks of my life to spare being high.\u201d
\n\u201cHow did you used to manage three weeks at a time to do AMT?\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t know. Was I unemployed?\u201d
\n\u201cOh. Right. Look, you\u2019re not being helpful here. Didn\u2019t you used to like drugs?\u201d
\n\u201cI still like drugs.\u201d
\n\u201cWhich ones?\u201d
\n\u201cUmm\u2026 I guess I like theoretical drugs that probably exist in top secret underground laboratories, where you can trip very hard for exactly one hour and forty-five minutes and then roll over promptly and go straight to sleep, and wake up in the morning feeling relaxed and refreshed.\u201d
\n\u201cI see.\u201d
\n\u201cI like the idea of drugs more than I like doing them.\u201d
\n\u201cThe idea of drugs does not get you high.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, but the idea of drugs also does not give me a complex if too many people are in the room, and never gives me a false sense of security about how things are going in my life, and never tricks me into saying things that sound deep in the moment but make me feel like a clich\u00e9 when I think about it the next day.\u201d
\n\u201cRight, but the idea of drugs does not get you high.\u201d
\n\u201cOf course not, but the idea of drugs also doesn\u2019t eat up valuable spare time that I could be spending on projects, and it doesn\u2019t make me feel like a fugitive, and it doesn\u2019t disrupt my sleep cycle and make me feel crabby and inexplicably exhausted.\u201d
\n\u201cDid I mention the part about not getting high?\u201d
\n\u201cI like the fact <\/em>of drugs. I like knowing that drugs are out there, and that people are doing them. I like being part of the club \u2013 the people who are clever enough to have tried drugs, even just once. I like feeling smug that I have a whole vocabulary of elaborate justifications for why my drug use has been meaningful and rewarding, even if I can\u2019t be bothered to do them much anymore. Sure, I used to like drugs, and that hasn\u2019t changed.\u201d
\n\u201cBut?\u201d
\n\u201cBut appetites change. Environments change. Communities change. I remember when a drug party was a novel thing.\u201d
\n\u201cYou are too young to front the jaded shtick.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s not jaded. It\u2019s just pragmatism.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s lack of something short acting enough to not be any work.\u201d
\n\u201cSee, why are you calling it \u2018work\u2019? I thought these were \u2018recreational\u2019 drugs.\u201d
\nLong pause.
\n\u201cSo if you don\u2019t want to do drugs, what do <\/em>you want to do?\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026 wanna watch a DVD?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019m bored. We should do something fun tonight.\u201d \u201cYeah. You want to watch a DVD?\u201d \u201cNah, that\u2019s all we ever do.\u201d \u201cWe could go out.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t feel like it.\u201d \u201cAh, you know what\u2026 we should do some drugs.\u201d \u201cHmm.\u201d \u201cCome on, when was the last time we did any drugs?\u201d \u201cWell, I\u2019ve been busy.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}