I\u2019m a lot of fun to have around at parties, as virtually anyone will tell you (provided they are not people who actually know me and I am holding their pet hostage). Part of what makes me so much fun to be around is my innate love for practical jokes. Over the years I\u2019ve developed a particular specialty in one unique and enjoyable sub-genre \u2013 the psychedelic practical joke. It takes a very special person both to execute a well-orchestrated psychedelic practical joke and to appreciate the subtle and often deeply philosophical underpinnings of a psychedelic practical joke. In the absence of people like that, however, I offer you this entertaining and hopefully inspiring guide to the world of psychedelic practical jokes, as practiced by yours truly.<\/p>\n
The Mortality Mix-Up<\/em> \u2013 I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve all been there \u2013 in the midst of deep, deep exploration of the inner caverns of the mind, you suddenly come across the bright portal of white light that signifies a possible passageway to the other side, the afterlife. The next time a friend is over sitting for you, put on a blindfold and pretend that you are spelunking these inner caverns. Warn your friend that you are going in \u201cvery deep\u201d and that they must not intervene<\/em>, no matter what you might say or do. Then, start moaning and mumbling about \u201cI see it, I see the light!\u201d Then, actually die. Boy, will they<\/em> feel stupid!<\/p>\n The Ontological Ooops!<\/em> \u2013 This is a great prank to play on the grizzled old vet who claims to have \u201cseen it all\u201d. Next time you\u2019re both on ayahuasca, confronting the mysteries at the heart of reality, secretly rearrange fundamental concepts into a baffling new configuration. Then when you both come down, pretend you\u2019ve always<\/em> lived in a universe in which the word \u201cgreen\u201d means \u201cevil\u201d, in which \u201creligion\u201d means \u201cjelly doughnut\u201d, and in which kicking people hard in the stomach is the accepted form of saying hello. You\u2019ll have endless hours of fun watching them crack up, go berzerk, and pledge their undying love and affection to a vacuum cleaner.<\/p>\n The Permanent Freak Out<\/em> \u2013 This one works best on younger trippers, who are still susceptible to that hair-raising realization in a particularly powerful psychedelic experience that they are never coming down<\/em>. The next time you\u2019re around someone who exclaims, \u201cI\u2019m never coming down!\u201d you simply lean in close, put your arm around the mark, and whisper soothingly, \u201cOf course you\u2019ll come down, just give it a few hours.\u201d Secretly apply an LSD-soaked epidermal patch to the back of the mark\u2019s neck. You\u2019ll never forget the look on their face when, three weeks later, they are finally carted off to the loony bin by big strong men with straightjackets. I never really get tired of visiting marks in the loony bin and just laughing and laughing and laughing.<\/p>\n The Entity Invasion<\/em> \u2013 This is a perfect prank to pull on someone who has just inhaled two or three monster puffs of DMT. As soon as they lay back on your living room floor and start to feel the incredible DMT flash coming on, sneak off into another room and climb into your disguise: an eight-feet tall insectoid alien costume with enormous eye-stalks and long, sharp pincers. Hurry, you\u2019ve only got a minute or two! Then burst back out into the living room and start shouting \u201cGo away, human!\u201d in your best menacing insectoid-alien voice. Years from now, you\u2019ll both look back and laugh at the time you had to have your friend\u2019s heart resuscitated by EMTs while you tried to explain that you couldn\u2019t have dialed 911 any faster because, you know, pincers.<\/p>\n And of course, there\u2019s my favorite:<\/p>\n The Promise of a Glorious Future<\/em> \u2013 I\u2019ve used MDMA, LSD, and 5-MeO-DMT to perform this prank, but I\u2019m sure other substances will work. Wait for the peak of an incredibly intense and beautiful trip, and then spin an elaborate yarn about how the psychedelic movement has the power to change the world for the better, and how if we could only just \u201cturn on\u201d the right people, so much anger and violence could be avoided. The politicians of the world would set aside their differences and the fighters of the world would lay down their arms, if only you could share with them the majestic gnosis inherent in the core of the psychedelic experience. A fantastic sense of peace will ensue. Then the drugs will wear off, at which point \u2013 here\u2019s the hilarious part \u2013 bone-crushing disappointment and depression will set in at the realization that \u201cit was just the drugs\u201d. <\/p>\n I\u2019ve only pulled that one on myself, actually, but I do fall for it every time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m a lot of fun to have around at parties, as virtually anyone will tell you (provided they are not people who actually know me and I am holding their pet hostage). Part of what makes me so much fun to be around is my innate love for practical jokes. Over the years I\u2019ve developed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.erowid.org\/columns\/scotto\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}