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Jacked Upp 1
ThLegenothe Lightning  Speed of the Ancient Gods

I stood  up and walked to the narrow opening of my cave. Peering  out  trying to judge the
horizon for a sign. A sign from the gods, warning me to get ready for their arrival,
The sign my mentor said would be there when I was to mix the chemicals.
It seems tonight would not be the night, I was tired of waiting, everything had been prepared.
But I had to keep everything ready, because it was a storm I awaited.
This area is beset with rapidly appearing storms, seemingly arising  from no where.
I went back and rested,  thinking about everything I have learned .

I recall the long days of waiting while perfect  ephedrine  crystals  formed  from slow evaporation of alcohol in this dark cave.
I have been working  for months , preparing for a cook that would change my life.
I prepared 100% pure natural ingredients, using the equipment found in this cave once used by an ancient alchemist, yes nature was my  lab.
 Iodine sublimated came from sea kelp ash.
 Ephedrine from the Ephedra bushes   growing in the south and west..
The Red Phosphorous  from ancient human excrement  that had been fermented an boiled down to solid, by some unknown alchemist over 100 years ago.
Rainwater for  pure, naturally distilled water  collected drop by drop.
I used the suns heat to sublime my Iodine each day it shined through the mouth of the cave.
Then I reformed the  crystals in  the chill of the night  . A process that took  months to gather enough, for  this sacred reaction.
This has been a grueling experience but I know, it will be worth it.
 I must keep the faith. Never give up. Always be ready.

You see, this is not just any cook. It is to be blessed by the gods.
Every thing must  be the way my mentor said it must be. Or else  I will  perish  in a shower of  hot chemicals and deadly gasses. Everything had to be just right to receive the blessing of Light, and to be accepted  by the Gods.
After  months of alchemy tactics, I had enough precursors to achieve a reaction of 42 grams. "One for every year of my life." Everything  has been purified to the best possible anywhere on this earth.
I have never seen  any finer reagents.
In the past , I have shook down some scary demons in my dreams,  from the dark side of the flask.
To let them escape this time would mean certain death from liquid heat and gas.. But I was ready.
I worked hard, I felt confident , I new the gods were watching me prepare for them.

The desert was  dry, a  hot sea of heat waves that appeared to roll to me one afternoon as I fell into a deep sleep.
It was around 2 am when I was awakened by a distant rumbling, my mind still  hazy from sleep I wasn't sure of what I was hearing, When suddenly a flash of light lit the opening of the cave up like daylight, then a crash that shook the ground.
Damn, it is time and I was asleep, I had just a few minutes to do what I waited all this time for.

As fast as I could, I retrieved my pure precursors from the back of the dark cave, swiftly mixing them together.
I was almost ready.
As the lightning and thunder got closer.  I  had mixed the powders and potions in as perfect a proportion, as possible, having to guess at the humidity and barometric pressure, and the net ionic atmospheric negative charge..

According to legend,  the ritual, opens a portal between hell, earth,  and heaven.
At first the evil spirits try and push out from hell exiting the flask invading earth and heaven , unleashing failure and certain humiliation. Leaving a stench, fumes, acid chemicals , a state of dryness consuming all things, ravaging all the honey on earth and leaving behind only a useless amine.

If controlled, the evil stays in the flask and soon The battle reverses and the forces of good  pull it back together, and restore natural order, with one change , I get an endless supply of speed.
MMMMmuuuuuuuaaaahahaha no time to laugh now.

Everything was at stake now, and the storm was moving in fast.   I had forgotten my leather mittens,  there would be no time to get them, my hands would be unprotected....  Fuck it.., let 'em burn.
I rushed to   seal the flask , then gently picked the flask up carrying it  to
the entrance were outside  I have made a separate rock altar for cooking.
As I stepped outside,  lightening danced across the desert,  a  flash, struck me hard,  knocking me down on one knee, barely aware and conscious, I stayed up,  the reaction had begun.
I held  the flask  above my head ,  still unable to stand , and on one knee , dizzy, and weak,  sweat burned my eyes, everything spinning and swirling , the flask begining to become heavy and  too hot to hold.
I was fucking scared man,
I was beginning to loose consciousness. I stayed fast in position,  holding the flask on high, beginning to doubt that I would be successful,,  if  I  were to fall or drop the flask,  I knew  it would be over , never surviving  the fumes and fire.  I fought to stay awake, darkness seemed to be filling my mind, I could not stop it,  I was certain it was over for me, I kept loosing my mind , then  would  shake myself  back to wakefulness.

Suddenly a beam of hope filled me , like a spring breeze, fresh and clear, I heard  the words of my mentor, the Worlock, usually clear and  guiding,  now  garbled and unintelligible !!

"Theveryearthyoukneeluponwillseemtovomityouupinaringoffire, holdtightlytheflaskof power, youwillnowbetheonlyforcebetweenmankindandtotaldestruction,youarethegoodthatmustovercometheevil."
 Whenyouholdtheviolentflask,youareonestepawayfrombecomingagodyourself,holdtightmyfriend,
becauseItisnowthatthehumanfleshwillfail,itisthemomentofyourgloryoryourdestruction,itisnotth
epainyouneedfearbutyourabilitytostayawakebeyondhumanendurance, thechemicalswillnotfailyou,ifpreparedthemexactlyasyouhavebeeninstructed"
 Oh Shit, it was looking really very bad bad for all men, when suddenly , it became much worse as the earth all around me turned a blazing white, as bolts of lightning shot out of the earth into the heavens, I was almost incinerated  by the forces, I was hurt,  badly stunned, not knowing if day or night , what season , what year, what I was to do, all I could think was hold on .
Then a bolt of lightening came from above with such vengeance and force I can still feel pain today, it crashed  directly with the flask . As soon as the bolt struck the contents in the flask took off, it grew three times its original size boiling and spitting smoke volleys, its climbing its way to the top, to its freedom. The contents liquefied and it was popping
swirls along with a fair amount of large swells growing, popping, and spitting, they would bust open with streams of greenish reddish  vapors. It was like the flask was possessed with something I never dreamed of before,
The heat was overpowering as it was getting  hotter, burning my hands.
More violent than any I had ever seen, the flask burned my hands.  I saw it rising .
Shit,  I closed my eyes and instinctively shook the flask as hard and fast as I could, not knowing why or what was going on.
praying for mercy and this nightmare to end swiftly  I  wished only to be free of this curse.
Then as suddenly as it had began the flask began to cool.
I stopped shaking it . I opened my eyes to see color subsiding  slowly moving down the sides of the flask. It was letting me look at its deepest secrets. It was a beautiful sight, and seemed to be clearing , and cooling down very quickly now.
As I regained my senses,
I knew I had done the impossible "WOO HOO" , I did it , My creation is  blessed by the Gods of Fire, and thunder
I danced and sang praises, reached for a straw and a pipe.

Oh yeeeessss , The quality of the honey is truly worthy of the immortal. It is  the finest ever created.
I left some of the contents in the  original flask, in the hidden cave , in the inner sanctum, on a special altar, for getting high.
Every year ,on the same date,  I may return to the cave and find huge golden and gem encrusted vats , full of the most perfect speed, awaiting me,  I split it up between my pack mules and transport it  down the mountain.
I always return exactly one year later to collect as many of the speed laden  vats as I can take, because the cave  cannot be seen any other day
The Gods of fire are very pleased with my work,
I know now, I can do anything I put my mind to doing. and I need to  prove nothing to no one.

Jacked_Upp 1

WARNING: this post is factual in every detail,
I relate it only for the purpose of  expressing the  faith  this cook has in his mentor " The Worlock".
It is not to be attempted by just  anyone. The reaction is very real, in truth  It is very Deadly.
You must commit your self totally, and sacrifice all you have,  and even  more than you know.
But the Gods still choose who will  they grace with Lightning..
You will know if your a chosen cook. One of very few, because people will seek you out, offering you all they have for a taste.  Your wares will be sought after, making you wealthy, and wise , and happy.

"The way the Gods make speed"
Archived from the ancient Hive this has been recorded and passed down from the Bees of  the past, as a gift to the Bees of the present , to share generously with the Bees of  the future.

"The very earth you kneel upon will seem to vomit you up in a ring of fire, hold tightly the flask of  power, you will now be the only force between mankind and total destruction, you are the good that must over come the
evil."
 When you hold the violent flask, you are one step away from becoming a god yourself, hold tight my friend,
because It is now that the human flesh will fail, it is the moment of your glory or your destruction, it is not the pain you need fear, but your ability to stay awake beyond human endurance, the chemicals will not fail you, if prepared exactly as you have been instructed"