Reaching the Core of my True Self
4-Acetoxy-DIPT
Citation: pyro. "Reaching the Core of my True Self: An Experience with 4-Acetoxy-DIPT (exp54707)". Erowid.org. Jul 21, 2006. erowid.org/exp/54707
DOSE: |
20 mg | oral | 4-AcO-DiPT | (powder / crystals) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 75 kg |
Application: Crystals dissolved in tap water.
Onset & Duration: In 15 minutes a distinct tingling sensation throughout my body. Within 40 minutes consciousness changed totally without visuals only light appeared brighter and after about 3 hours all the effects were gone and I found myself at baseline .
I decided to take this compound on a nice warm evening at home while feeling very relaxed. This was the first time I tried this substance I’ve had some other closely related substances and really enjoyed myself on them. To decide what dose I should take I whipped out the good old Tihkal and looked it up, after some reading I made the decision to try 20mg which seemed to be quite intense. I took out the vial with the compound and weighed it out precisely. The compound is quite sticky so it was hard to weigh without making a mess. After dissolving the powder in some tap water I drank it and the taste was really bitter; it reminded me of some medicine I had to take as a child.
After about 15 minutes I felt a distinct tingle throughout my body it was very enjoyable and I put on some music at low volume on my headphones. Around the 30 minute point I felt the need to dance so I started dancing on the music alone in my room. My thoughts were flowing with great ease and I was having some interesting associations. After about ten minutes I sort of lost myself in the music and it felt to me that my whole body was pulsing and flowing with the rhythm of the music it became synchronized.
I lost track of time at this point I continued the dancing for some time, after the dancing I wanted to drink something so I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of buttermilk. The taste of the milk overwhelmed me the intensity of the acidic taste gave a very nice feeling which ended with a shiver along my spine. I then sat down on the couch and started concentrating on my breathing. After taking a few very deep breaths I started to feel how the oxygen was getting into my bloodstream and the carbondioxide leaving my body.
The music changed from Celticcross to some rhythmic drumming with a background of forest sounds this was the point when everything changed and started to gain in intensity.
I felt the urge to lie down on the couch so I did I experienced no visuals with opened eyes but after closing my eyes my inner world lit up. I started to get deeper and deeper into my own conscious- and unconsciousness both intertwined with one another and I found myself on the border of both seeing into both sides with a lot of clarity.
I went deeper and deeper until I finally reached the core the true self. I visualized this as an Asian temple with a bright burning cone of energy in the middle. This I found quite awkward because I’m not really involved with anything Asian but it felt as if I reached my core. I communicated with the core self through thought, the core was without all the baggage I’ve gained over the years it was without my insecurities without my fears just the pure me.
While staying in that place I learned a lot of things about myself. I saw how the death of my mother at a young age tore me up on the inside, before I thought that I was already over my mothers death but that wasn’t true I just pushed all the emotions deep inside which left a lot of insecurities and fears.
I had the visual of a ‘’symbolic’’ burial of my mother putting her in the ground without blocking all my emotions and all the pain surfaced I cried for what seems a long time but it felt wonderful as if a huge weight was lifted of my chest. After this settled in I realized that I was deeply in love with a girl I’ve been involved with for several years. I didn’t want to accept all my feelings towards her what I think was the fear of loosing a person close to me so I acted like a asshole for the last couple of years. But I lost that I now accept that I have very deep feelings for that person and I stopped being afraid of the consequences.
I’ve lost a lot of fears and insecurities from this experience it has left a changed person I now feel that I have changed my look on life it’s such more open now more in contact with myself. I feel that I can now start with a new sleight without all the problems from the past just concentrating on my life and what I want to make out of myself and I also gained a new look on the way I relate to other people and my feelings towards them.
I feel like I grew up a lot from this very intense experience I have gained so much and I can say now 2 weeks after the trip that it really did change me. This experience taught me the true value of a psychedelic compound.
This trip would be a ++++ experience on the shulgin scale and I can just hope to experience something as deep, personal and life changing like this trip.
Exp Year: 2006 | ExpID: 54707 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Jul 21, 2006 | Views: 13,815 |
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4-AcO-DiPT (55) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Relationships (44), Alone (16) |
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