Erowid References Database
Marlette D.
“Did You Do Drugs, Daddy?”.
Esquire Magazine. 1996 March;p68.
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Abstract
Just say no. Somehow Nancy Reagan’s prim admonition always made us, as Jay Leno once noted, want to mainline heroin under our tongue. Just say no. Sounds so tidy. The blitheness, the arrogance, the lack of imagination, and the hardness of heart in that “just” is breathtaking--the pittance paid to the guilt, the pain, the rage, the sheer complexity fueling the compulsions of the chemically inclined. And besides, in this quick-fix, feel-good culture, the message is the same on the street and in the clinic: if it feels good, do it. Diagnose and close. If the suffering is sufficient, drug it. So much for discipline.
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Questions need not always be met head-on: Is my poem any good? Is she attractive to you? Do I need to lose weight? I’m not recommending dishonesty. I’m recommending discretion, restraint, the virtues of the good poker player. On some level, your kids will know whether you’re lying, but don’t show your hand. A little doubt goes a long way.
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It’s like being badgered by a lover about previous loves: What were they like? How do I compare? Equanimity is key. That’s private, you answer. Some things are personal.
Drawing such a line with your kid may make you feel like a phony. Fatherhood has a way of doing that. So what? To be human is to engage in equivocation--even, in extremis, in hypocrisy.
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