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Know where I'm going. Not hungry. 5.40 Might almost consider venturing into the kitchen. U>L-~ \j^ vc^wD 2^% &* c^ fc/z*/-7) *S m. (law Ct^Co VWJ-f jj / ¥ W W -) / o / O ,S Ao ■c, 1 / / / / ° O * u 1 .s \ I i So ( // 6 """ 1 ^-»- ) ,£ 2*11 ( % i li i. 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S 0»a3^ OcJv^At S^ao^L*^^ Wu V 4 Q\f-Lu^X^ • vi ^-^^ I>Cr *^^L c £d \lru-VVvl~i <xwv 1 c*>-*->i v».~i : -V PAa r*£ 0., \t) 2. ^^c^x/ ^(t' ^ V\i> ^A fc\V^ ^ -C^cVojjtVttlpcJVv^VVi^C ^h \0 wa £/tk(T*> < w«j <\\^ Am -\£'.ct.J v ^w\a^«^} v.-e 2- CO 2.73 ± ± 4- 4- ± A--* V n* \<m-\ <m ^ (^-t.^ ^ w^f S|v>-|->S V.4* --^o.rfDJ [p'.5oj W-^-ow -cOu.jT £c -"^A iSL&u> K^U^^Si^ ^i^Jt" (_l . 1^ <xV W,t t *r\r - ^ -HjO< 5 c^v. «U>v*>-\ ^> %S\*-< iT , ^-«^ <& A>* tWWaJJ ^ *>— \f^A yi~*-e - C] '•£*) ^o<^ , *~V yv^ cj^^W crw. _'1'_ 1 a~v **- Slwv*i», (2\<vo) vojjil^ <A^> - vv-^vui O^^wK*- . &lo} <-"|(r -^ H 04d <^ c 2i ^vn_ A.'a, !«<: s^o-.aa^ .j^i.aj] <, . X L ' - n J J r- .14- KW •-M- + + I too _ . , t^% c Sr wve V*>M?V-<n ^ (ft-A-cy-civ ^t-\T-v s -»- /l -} UJ -~-^ ! \t4|-\4 <- ^f Vfe ■- v~.vJ^vo , vv_. . ^3. -2- do with my life? and was told, Simply be yourself. It was almost 1-1/2 hours. I was feeling more discomfort than the last time, some stomach squeamishness and some tension. £7iw *+»**■ felt full in the experience, and reported she didn't want any more. , T decided to take a supplement to see how it would affect my discomfort. Cat 1 ?- ^as feeling good, but her vision was blurry with some trouble focusing. She decided to take more also. Then Cu» : =ti<\^ ■ decided to join us, and we all took 20 mg. more. Scon after, my discomfort faded away, dk^^'i blurry vision disappi eared , and we all went outside. Everything immediately sprang to life, and was fantastically beautiful. G^tf^ was enjoying it immensely. We went around looking at flowers, CUriThi^ showing me things I had never seen before. I realized I had never really looked at jasmine before, as well as the incredibly beautiful orange flowers. We sat in the patio, feeling great warmth and euphoria, and stayed there until the sun went down and it was too cold to be ouside. We had marvelous communication, felt extremely close to each other, and felt quite blessed for the marvelous experience. Food again tasted wonderful, and we kept visiting pleasantly and talking very openly until 10:00 p.m., when my son and his wife arrived and some other people and another party started lasting until midnight. £TJv>-»Tf-i>i~ looked beautiful, and opened up significantly. She reprted the following for the record: For some time she has been taking mega-vitamin C and genseng tea, as well as 3-4 grains of thyroid a day for several years. She stopped taking thyroid 2 days previously so as not to interfere with the experiment. Her pulse without thyroid is usually about 50; the thyroid brings it up to 72. She noticed that this experience increased her hearbeat to 80. At the height, I noticed my heart was beating faster also. She pot warm this time, but was not uncomfortable as with the hot flashes of the time before. Her skin felt moist and soft. She reported acuity of vision, hearing, smell, and taste, and no unpleasantness. PXPORT OF PESULTC V.'IT! January 30, 1978. First experiment was January 28. This one w does levels, 100 mg. for C^[c^ and 140 for me. 3:00 p.m. Start. 3:10 I can feel slightly. 3:12 I can feel some euphoria. <£^ (<*_ says things are looking better. 3:20 I feel it coming on strongly; <T*"I«- reports slight tingling. -lizes apprehension ofher mother. Feels elevated pulse. Greens are very preen. 3:25 &r$t*. thinks she is going into phase II, 1/2 pleasant, 1/2 not. 3:28 (V' 8 - reports tingling, buzzing, unpleasant. I see her face distorted, but realize this could become a judgement, so look up into the beautiful blue s and am aware of a higher level. 3:35 Ot*^ says discomfort is tapering off. Fingers are tinglii . 3:50 Kot ecstatic. She is afraid of our being found out. 4:25 Discomfort has passed; GwW. is getting a glow 4:50 Ca„\*~- has trouble focussing. Glow comes and goes. 5: M0 Very relaxed. We have a very relaxed, enjoyable evening. Effects tarer cff pently, leaving us in a very pleasant state, much more alive. April 30, 1978. £nW<»- and I started at 1:00 p.m. with £/vm- +>' -"- . The girls each take 100 mg., I take 120. This turns out to be the most pleasant of all experiences for me, euphoria coming on and steadily rising to a high peak. The exoerience was also totally pleasant for<^ji . Gwrr,-v begins to feel nauseous, goes to the bathroom, and throws up. Feels a little better. She sits on sc ; . has very hot flashes, very hot, uncomfortable. At peak, we go outside, I find nature brilliantly alive and fantasctically beautiful, the most beautiful I have ever seen it, with tremendous euphoria. The love amonc the three of us is custanc We sit outside for a while, and have very open communication. Then £Kri*W*»- the light is too bright, and we go inside. She is now feelinp good, but wants to take it easy, not too much light. We converse very openly for several hour , with a marvelous feeling of closeness. We all come down very smoothly and gent At peak time, no one wanted to take a supplement. V.'e visited free til dark. We ate a deliscious soup C*~\*- had prepared and enioyed it enormous 1 - . We continued to talk very enjoyable till bedtime, when Ckr\iil*^ departed. The three of us had never felt closer. June 9, 1978. The experiment with dT^fisfwu^ was repeated, start with the same dose level. The session developed nicely, and nc one felt discomfort. ^Ai-ritJat. preferred to sit with her back to the outside light, locking at the softly lighted interior, until things beran to become t in color. She then chose to withdraw and close her eyes and look ins: . ZurlK's and my interest in going outside. We sat with her inside for 20 minutes, when she came out of it. She later told us she had asked, What r- TTM* ± 3> NiVk. ws a<-b^A W $!,£% T-.5 v-« '/3$(fe3 Vu*l/\* >0 ,^ 1W 3< v^ <\o ^ fc|v\|78 ^3 vs-.e ^ \^ *<7 ' . */. io;»r<>n^ -^ \«n>3 (bAcT\ cJuuv*t 1 (V-'*0 ©^ ^^ *<- (^W\ ^^-^WjUfi- - [x ti^3- £v- ajSJU^w»-C ix> u-v — w» Srtvi^, ia^^v^_ , -t. 1 fOWcM ^ ^W^l-I^-.O^a tec WV& ^ToWfc 4^?^-^>^i a^JTs ^ QUI , . . / FltP '•Sow ^-q(v,|-n ^.v>rt^T(_c. at ,] y u -^-J-^ V\ WaTVaX^^Ox, ( 1*jJ~^x ■5-^ 'to ^ t^fct^Vi. -=% V. . tU, ^iAW^i Ut t^vAjl "•-w O r^-VAVL<9 . ■ (XwCvaAIajHO . 219 -V-W+ c<*4' (' \> • 24<° # |>Ml's Cjjw.-. . PA vvoW^ V^Ju^o -Kaj. Ji.^_<_ cJr(_2'. >n> \ -^lo <aa-i ((MS , A6>, t3>3 <rv-£-A a C^OlA-1 i±± 3 I *x ^fci W.lifirt^ . A2> Si<no As i^u.-tiUrto - St£(^ ± aft [\1\< n>] - GJu-v^ QaJ^^ vxo c^v^-VtL - ^*u* -U03 U^ st^uSS^S. 3B> -\ ■fljP»r-^w^ eJuaX tti [C- .VJ- C'4^ - Wc^> O va.U.Vv.WU. +*"^ \^ (l.'-v] T'UA-i. a^WvUJ - -tyU^AA.-^ J UaiLt^aaa^ . 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Wn : N>V\. 21<\ + f +-v- <LwS I •*-*- +T u;^ t_ t,-. <u-^w .^-^ *U^n>f ivf ,(< ^ ''^'-^ • v ^'^w,- i^Jt -<-+ l(, ++ +f -w-^V — P\v*Wl a'Cfe+ i-ce> (vo-tii\. s^£. 2 <--^ "H'0h<\ (.5>o"i V^-tiJ*- - UoJUu^Jr c^U< «yU-^J (^*^) lrvJ--* U iA»j u Aak a« kt*w-Jtx M M.fl..f ' - 3 . ^>vt 52-^ '.?KO y. tk/ p+l> *5*H. - *6 Z5*H h: Out a4fu--f j> iM4i»a*\. a fy*Jbu~~., <u ■ fit)*/ ' * AMAueJ I t-Atottu^f :~~T£T ci+LOij.' **, * M "Mat ttt**3 CO" -fo Al, < vH/ X^t CM: ^^V^rfk- V- ■V- + rfV*\ 4" wl -*(*■' h* <Y.SS <o-.«t0 ^o-.Vol 4*uy^X e-U<X (o'-<*3 V^r>^-> -Uj^~ v^. - \j ex, 'A * Aao&a, v-^i V-^U^. , iMwJwC lUa^j (S'-^'j iLft^v^ - S*jk . (V-So] cJLu^^ - SV-W :C 4-L~<> nj;yw«kw~f \A^y kaX -*- j ' V^hV 4 ^ i£-<^< -^ . (t'.cj cSLu '^e^v-«A>jjji~' tV^a« «Cjt»~ . K.&K- v»-U-«. <L$~>- Ke-Uy (w>»y^**0 Companions: <C^&- , c^.-^ , £i,'^i>«/tt Data: June 17, 1976 Dosage: C&*&- Kelly <^r^ | £('W*f*-10, He ingested the substance somwl It was a beautiful day, and a b< Going down the hill toward the i effects were negative, tension By the time we reached the stre< the stream and tress were start i fairly uncomfortable. after lOiOO A.M. and drove to McDonald's, tiful place for the experience. er, I began to feel the effects. The first d depression, and they continued to grow stronger, the positive effects began to develop, and to enhance in their beauty. However, I was As we climbed up the hill, the experience grew in both dimensions. I became more and acre uncomfortable, as though carrying a heavy load, with difficult breathing. Yet everything was slowly but stea^'ij.y growing more beautiful. The p*.a v of the discomfort came around l:p.m., somewhat before the time that ci/^be-fk Found her "black hole, The discomfort was both physical and emotional. By the time we started downhill, around «*:00 p.m., the beauty was far out -weighing the discomfort, and the balance in the positive direction continued to grow the rest of the day and evening. For a short time, just before starting down, I moved into the ecstacy of celestial space. On the way down, the discomfort would return in waves, but more and more I was able to get out of it. By the end of our walk, I was enjoying the experience tremendously. Driving home, I experienced the joy of driving with full perception, although I did develop a little tension from the confinement of driving by the time we got home. But driving was no problem, and very enjoyable. Arrivi: home, with the stereo blasting, and &*:<<- and a friend there, I had such a welling of emotion that I realised that I could not handle it. Fortunately, &\c and ;nd left. Then I got a deep insight into m yself for my lack of responsibility, and my childeish way of wallowing in emotions instead of mastering > r\ t '.t .!+" 4 J lecessary. The evening was absolu ing gorgeous* I've never seen th he only flaw was when !, This has ir.a r er ated to see end. amicus as Mo I pe< ow it .ght. I kept g away Ihrist, and the horrible things I w \g I have never seen my se reredness so :th learning. I got many insights into other y tired. I would have loved to cancel my Father's t lay around. But I knew I must master myself. I got up at Day date in Santa Cruz, a At f T*63T pel J- .'lit tO "C lift before. * zombie, slowly and deliberately, I took each move at a time. It was as though all previous hah :chen, and started to clean up from the night i a m ^ iS>} Everything got done, and we left the houu -<•«,+ ~. *, everything got easier, and thl dr£ ™".ry 8 £au?if ul* * I^J '" th * «"• and most enjoyable day, with much mJnirZ IL i I I ' X had a calm . Peaceful. The drove home along the c2.?^^^S£'^- /J*? 1 * J Uttta 2 -« ld - although ^,l. experienced some illne.7f£« over^eaSng! ' ' ' en * rgi " d . The next morning I had a fine talk with <*<** after wMrh t . very unusual anxiety. But I was moat Hi.™.\! a a \ ex P erl « nce d «°n>e the anxiety with a carbohydrate lun^h !£~? /"? Creative ' l «"«» they do. nyorate lunch, and learned why people often eat as : felt the experience continue for many davs and f«»»i *k.+ *«. * most profound and deep learning experience! 'l hi, *£*?** lt '* ° ne ° f th « ^wirir 1 Aieph_u •**- and wouid *«**»-* *» to 3L%^ EXPERIENCE WITH-MDMA Participants: <^u-l<*- > £>;c / K«Hy Date: July 15,1978 A.M. , £*„!* a-d ^ic with 100 mg. each Kelh with 120. I to feel; K*/H *"vi (Wl*- have 11:00 All have developed nicely, everyone is enjoying the experience. £„,c begins to have a lot of insight about the way she is treating her body. She sees that she is abusing her body a lot with much alcohol, lack of sleep. Mentions a number of times. 11:35 We all decide to take booster: 6«i<ia^ (JWc •■ 20 mg.; £t(h uo mg. :00 C**^*"- 6 & lC feel lazy, £\-ta_feels non-verbal. I am enjoying the experience very much. The extra amount completely wipes out any trace of tension interference with complete enjoyment. iching, and starting to come down. £a^ta f EFV/c- are very much in it. We have had a lot of excellent communication, with the marvelous freedom from defensiveness that seems to be a characteristic of this material. 1:00 Jaw clenching gets quite intense for me, I presume as a result of the larger booster. The others are o.k. 0(^u»- is aware of her teeth and gums; feels she is coming down. I am over I fine, as does 6,ie £vic has been sleepy, lying with eyes closed, little conversation. i &*■*+->. 'frees friend, came by. We all visited with pleasantly until she left. She was net a distraction at all. very :15 6kA^- is feeling some tension and let-down from the peak. iHvi*- and I are quite peaceful. 3 £" ,<: go over to£ws . Carl*- and I have a most pleasant, peaceful evening, feel very closa» We feel very good about being able to share the experience with l$*it , and felt a marvelous bond among the three of us. < r • . x<*i 1 Participants: <5\*i+<\~J tC<.H r Data: July 9, 1978 Dosaga: 20 rag. each, taken at 9:25 A.M. but otherwise develop nic.lv It ^^!: it somewhat, with some tension. exp.ri.no. for the first llL imVTff.T !"" we ar « al °"« *» •» A*, w. hsv.^. f rf:.i^ l L.ut 1 ^oh i r P ro a .p.o"t ul thor<Nghiy cOTfrOTt "< h fee^uiruo^omfort ^! ^.^0^ £.' «"".tt ET * V ' J?^«« s..mlTfu„ o „y sEJr"* md : ~ •**• « **• ™ d k ". *? it- d o.:„" lk foiJh /J " 8Un " qui6t WariB - We 8ta y at the «dge and move b ack and IcSet but 1^ excal £r vi8it ; * - enjoying natu ™ ™* ™ ch - I ««» "t quiet wavLdtvilnS^* "■? pUl - Natu ™ is beautiful in an enhanced by ? feel much ^ / \ "** ?° !° ent#rtaln ld « as of many different natures; is "at an5oy^!I. and ^^ th " ** HMh ' f ° r "^ althou « h < ha ^t,r f; l ^S a J Ual r: y dr °E 8 ^ f i6comfoivt «<» *«in. to accept me more, which I sense is hard for her. We continue to talk quite freely. Around 2 p.m. , we go back to bed and lay there for 2 to 3 hours. We both relt quite tired, and it was very peaceful to lie in bed. I begai to feel dWs :loseness very much, and enjoyed immensely our being together. While ♦m. T f eel w muc * Mn ?°ry enhancement, I felt I was aware of the enormous ootential this material has in this direction as two persons care more for each other." ^i!*- an ? Z greW in closen « ss through the rest of the day, and even on through the week. We retired early, as we felt very tired. However, I felt fine the next day and got a lot done without distraction. We felt the let-down from this experience was quite gentle and very pleasant and peaceful, although we felt tired. The feeling of tiredness did not linger afterwards, as it does with me with MDMA, and I was very alert and energetic for the following week. divi*- and I achieved a new closeness, so that we feel much more e when we are physically close, and have enjoyed en el this experience very appreciabi- try it again, with a larger amount. ,isu K,0 ^S i*. C-G. t C^. . £-tAi ^ each too'- first a .-.usea, came about 4 hr. after ingestion. Gastro-intestinal discomfort las* or to the onset xm visual component ... by thj ear. that there wj retinal activity and stationary objects undulated, pulsed, wove about, inhalated & c some, th discomfort lasted throughout the experience; r led with walking about or focused attention. Everyone except £H. -recti on about 3 _ 3i hrs. after initial dose. .Vith the correction to about 2>-+. There se be a c as a topical analgesia (I fc r.ds and forearms;, hver. • - rdinatic;., "here was Lay s activities; . ' ! a slit . i a; fcxi r we o one experi 3 of 1 n, oiousness, et< t of :e was J went ued an :d exaggerated star I had the feeling k that I sufi icient >ody without /compensito: •vv Ott I. ■iO\A v %n i <HU HK()ft-L trfvx^ ^ftC wOli-V^w ~ WoX \fiCJUL -*i**M WWj t**A%J- ^M . ,rt>~] ~ «yu->>-Jk S^J-Mp - a-^-^JdyA, u.. A-»*<\ VAjuJU )mA j <^>H 31 ?fcv*AG£> STbDiiETS . (c^. -C Lt.i)(«** *n^ O^^t^fct » -i*w VWnaw\ ^"W-^-W^i \4-c-Cj<tJU. - Ms-n " 1A W><AOO(/>W-\ y -t-r O^wJx e-^WAvX^^'S *-**■ \ */-> <Jc^ - vA-f—^A-i WkjoJ^w ? c^ 4+-t- ^ u^JLt- -*+ + + "Spiv* iWvu*o£«*M. C5«xp^ L'Sb be (JvT^^ . (]o'.V>3 o^<A> C o;4 °* + « «-^>^ , tM^^^ <**»• '^ >VwJU*-tA. -KiA^v t-SO^;vi^ OC^ -+ \^-V)c v S \Aj(U - Wo VjVv^-v^i-wJL^i fv.4^3 ^Wj-ta-^ ■+£++- w^V-o^a-^. t,(j-^^ '*W»4 ^4'.(rt>) s^JJav ^4'^ ijw^^" S^Ji^ (?:<mj b^.(<. <ro -t - £U^ cA-^. ^^ -^til^a <Wv^« . + ■» A+.^ ^ (j\pV £oJrW.>, , Kt.^.t. (^'.Si) jl^vuf -i^-t (_\'.Wj +V CijJL |. AL>£- - KAV^O-W v^j^s - W.<^y- OS AjiAwYVA-k^- Vo VA*_« SkJT „v, WOvLc b^M^< oVU^o\ fia.^5 • &A4 V Xs 4-a t^<-^-ir. -*-<r ^3/T«i v,A*Hx ^"io -v Vc^-i Sc Lib (AU> So-*^, <^Q l^i- bo jivrs, ^otSo (vkV H -^ AiA •- w^n^ ^ \ 4r+ ijV-OvcljS-^ Vv^cjJ.^) uftuw ) -1\ iv*. \&\*^j^Jl ^\t -> as i REPORT OF EXPERIENCE With I Date: September 8, 197P Participants: ^eg ,£/.i*i^.lA.f»W>- • H»/'y a^ £fc/fr Background: £r-«3 * 6"//"i«.£>«'k_ were visiting for two days, at the same time that 7ftfi'*»*_ arrived for a visit. We spent a very pleasant day visiting, but not feeling well. She reports that she was suffering a horrendous depress ;' anxiety, and felt exhausted, -completely below the line. 6\>-^ noticed her state, and suggested that an KDKA experience would be helpful. All agreed, and T^t*-^ had been hopeful that she would have an opportunity to repeat the experience, as she had gotten so much from her first one. So the exoeriiHpnt was conducted on the following afternoon, after the practical ratters of the arrangements were completed, including the weighing of the doses. 2:20 D.m. All ingest 120 m.g. of MDMA exceptkei'i , who started with 100 m. . The experience developed nicely for everyone. It was a perfectly beautiful the air nice and warm, bright and sunny, with marvelous visibility and the colo] of fall showing on the mountains. We walked around the property, and responded to the beauty of the surroundings. After an hour we returned to the house and sat outside on the deck. Ey this time, everyone had blossomed and opened up and were feeling marvelous. fc*i'r became deeply relaxed, and all of her troubles melted away. Everyone's faces became soft, young looking, ^nd took on a transc look. The experience seemed particularly rich and deep. 3:50 p.m. All took a supplement cf 40 m.g., including Ke'iT which is the largest supplement she had taken. The experience continued to deepen for everyone, and we had a marvelous time being together, sharing each other, and feelinr the depth cf our experience. We felt a particular blessed group, as we all fit in so well together. We could not get over how effective this agent is in permitting everyone to drop their concerns, complete relax, and feel the deep warmth of their inner bein" . 5:00 p.m. (approximately) We moved inside to listen to music. I put on thi I of the Grieg Lyric Pieces, which we listened to in its entirety (90 minutes). were extremely at piece, the music was outstar. ' beautiful . to aid us all in going much deeper within ourselves. We felt the experience tc particularly prof ound . -frti<w^ left during the music to visit a neig came back later. We ate lightly, soup and bread, and yet it seemed complete adequate and satisfying. Then we li stened to 7af,«#i«- ?in" as she played the guitar, and it seemed also very appropriate and maintained thegroup boi . The afterglow the next day seemed particularly outstanding. Everyone felt been a particularly moving experience, and it was difficult to separate. I<eii was totally changed and had risen completely above the line, where she since. l°\0 M vVcM -j, { w | fe'.m>S «Vi la, s_< e-Vwi - Vx ^~V V • AU^ ^AjJUaA^ -y -^C--^" v^c v.^, 4(hln ''''-■'■- L^ ..j - v^,,^ ,, . ( A S (V-tfQ ^- ■ ■ ji.'i..j . (Q^ a£ [l.^il \vo ^ W^l^i M<P' J - D2> > Ab > CQ £ Lisa . y.^ wvaLg cAA/yrvy^My,. . (\M^ <*aLi a ap „ /l/.i XLJ + -X^l'. ^^' I? 3 " vvxjV yj^XJ. [t.;V>^ .(^'..n,'j Pi s^-Vo b^ ^ ■ vo,\w- ^o-« 'v*<?-^ Ji^rvOiA ^^ ~ ^^ ^3 'jXTJLC ^ . v- \ x^j^> 5-. , wvwv(.vw.^v^ cvvv\n- 1 -^S'"-^v->^ •■ •V-r Ot-.CNl V^ow t|n|l<\ 2.;<-f ^-(o'.ct)^ A.P. \ie ,^« C ftT? ^^ \>^t" N\^*\^ (p^vCl A-U o^LvvJ-, PP ikvCT C?'^ +°- CU*d^ \j«Jv*-«s>jl. . ArTl 'li''-' io ~} /Va-^IcS o^.A_ ^w~«.wJajC} vaa-W*^l* . O t looV^v Va«-V i[»H>"^-s <?AA_A*.V t' ^Jft-^C^Jt QjUWaA.Iva^ . t^«rW<-£>Jj-L < O^A^-^^aLxj <A~ IT^ ^ft-*- £v\*_ L^" ! ^ - &a~» *t«A4.^i_ _ ^trv^ j!L4 - To adk °*- 4-V W5 Wo (AAArxg. . i 2«U KO-O-a - \<^vje\. /^ ^vt-y\v^ I c ). <\<u^Sjl /U-^^c W^J - £V< \ |(waAv,-, vv . 14 Ci <W^rv^*jT J i / ^|i £ /jd<-w-o- 0~~<i [^ <n>%&? 4-+ "7 "Vv-Pi \o(0-o| 1& iaa ^aSL . oixtfuJU. Silo -\c.inTl ^".Vo) St/vi^* lTV\w~, , W, Vvi-iAc ^ ^ ^ 2*?4 Vw^ \Aaao o^-oLf V/O^jm. -^ ^4 rU-^H 1 - ^ €-& • ' Waa. o^«vj S'Ww« \j-w1^axxjP W^Vwu^jill i-V +v I ^LU r '. V^ V> T^ . 4 o\4 ^ V ■rt(X 2°) 3 w ^ i<./i./n ^.^/^--[o.wj o 'u^vt? j Q^, a * tVtv. lii . ,p -Vr iS 4-M-d'.) *> ^ l /^/ii . U^4 K° -^ LmQ*^»-»^* v*>i ^-^v^j -f- f - ^ ^ - &** ou-w^ . 1 u^-t' - •{ M-^ ^'vva^w^j; ^ ^v W to\\~ cii - c (XiU-U^.-^ C^W-Ws^cfi ^. Hot* OXVV^ ^"^Y^ ^~ ^^ -Uvw Wo (w^W^ oJ~ o^ - {^.V-f^JH slu^ wji^ i/^Or - *a 3 'Cf' dew, -kWvv^-cA^ L/\jj-V-^oi-vvo eJr (_2>o ' s'.irtD <x^<^ -^-'i V-ouv~^oL\ ( , \ju^ >-<•> V-o. J +u |J2A~] t\~>_«( uuwt. • .WaJUa ^ w* ^v-tt./1-^j ■■■ - . V-c^-j-uJ^ A-\Hr A + '^ '^K-.u-O _ AaJ-U.U^. Ajl«^h>-WVs -4^xXw> QM(rJtS<£ > . ■on 1S£ REPORT OF EXPERIENCE V.'ITH ' <Date: Aupust 20, 1978. ! [Participants: Wo//-, , -r^+/«M_*_ . *~-<j ~£e.k.4— fStart: 9:50 A.M. All participants ingested 100 it. . 110:10 Everyone is beginning to feel effects. ■410:30 All are feeling strongly. 7a^i<**^*_ feels that it hits her very suddenl . ;had started in the living room, where there is lots of light and excellent views "jout of the windows, and a lot of interesting things to look out around the ro^ . 'But when we stepped outside, it seemed to come on stronger. took chairs down to sit under the cottonwood trees, which were most pleasant. -.A nice breeze carressed us and whispered in the trees. The scenery was magnificent. first everything seemed too bright, but as we accomodated ourselves to the .brilliant sunshine, we began to observe the marvelous detail in the mountains -iacross the plains. The desert foliage was most interesting, and remarkably different from plants on the Coast. ^»/'y felt heavily intoxicated. She had been extrerr tired and tense the night before, with appreciable pains in her neck and shoulders. ••{She felt the experience was a great tranquilizer, and her body felt numb. jll:20 V.'e take supplements, fa. ft'A*~&a~* d Z.*k.<_ , 20 me., <jJoll, 10 mg. (the balance of our supply). H*ih was feeling so heavily intoxicated that at first she thought she would refuse the supolement, but when she learned the distribution of the : remaining capsules, she opted for the 10 mg. (I had originally planned to take -the 10 and give the girls 20.) 7a.';<*»*~ sailed for 3 hours with the experience. At the end of three hours ( 12 : 5* -she suddenly came out of the spontaneous experience, and began corticalizinp about her work and life situations. I experienced considerable enhancement of perception, but was not as completely intc the experience as I have been with larger amounts. I experienced a great deal of cortical activity, simular to what I am more used to with LSD, which I have never - before experienced with this compound. This was partly the result of our not : too talkative, /»*•//* feeling very relaxed and T~i.i-<'*++- and myself enjoying our experience, J I keenly felt the absence of our former companions on this journc . 'After the supplement, we walked around the property for a couple of hours, feeli- i very content, relaxed, and enjoying the beautv. At first we felt so relaxed we -I didn't feel like walking, but once we started it was effortless. It felt v< r>d to walk around and look at thinps. ■12:30 We come back to the living room, all feeling very languid. We sat around J and talked for a while, and then M>/'r and I took naps in which we slept very ce- J fully, -fa-tia.*.*. read a while, and then took a nap. I Later in the afternoon, we took showers, which was very refreshing, and had a deli I ful visit with our neighbors, the Z/**.s For my birthday, they took us I at their resaurant, where we had a late dinner. 7^/;«~*- ordered a steak, which 1 not sit too well with her, and that evening had an attack of diarrhea, and her 1 stomach still bothered her the next morning. Otherwise, everythin g was mo enjoyed the Z — *■* very much, and were very content and peaceful. _ H»'h i relaxed and no lonrer pushed by the compulsion to clean u P the house immediate . V\ L- REPOPT OF EXPERIENCE Date: October 21, 1978 Subjects: Oo-t**, &;*.*>-<!>efr> <^>-<>9 > ^^n/tj ^a*c/y, 3<*-st*«- , /<IeV/y Ingested: Aleph U, 7 ir..g. for Cavi*-, P(a»ueJA* S a *- d i > 8 m E> for //( *#r , 10 m.g. for Sharon, Bob, and Sasha (I am sure of the 7 and 8 amounts, not so sure if 10 is the right amount for the last 3, ) Time: Experiment started at 10:00 A.M. I personally felt in the best shape for this experiment than in a long time. We drove to the hiking area we have dubbed ■ l V*-/«As*% because it starts up behind the house that <^*Jtif- built. As we got out of the car and started up the hill, I was feeling quite good. This was some 40 minutes after ingestion, I remembered that with my first Aleph 4 experiment, as soon as I felt any affects, I felt uncom- fortable, and the discomfort grew as the affects became stronger, along with the enhanced perception. This time I felt euphoric with the first traces, and was confident that I would head up into a pleasant exprence, and reported so to Sasha. As we climbed up the hill, 1 to 1-1/2 hours in, the euphoria grew, assdid the beauty of the surroundings. Around noon, we settled into a little valley with a magnificent view of the surrounding countryside, I was feelinp the effects much more strongly, and was beginning to get a trace of discomfort, I was aware of the beauty o^ our surroundings, and noticed, some visual hallucinations when looking at homes as the hills across the Vrilley, in the form of smoke trailing across. I lay back and looked up at the sky, and the sky and clouds were incredibly beautiful. I sensed my Dain as my inability to accept such fantastic beauty— it was if it were more than I could bear, I became aware of how my cybernetic system is accustomed to joy, and felt hew Brand it was to let joy creep into the various corners of my being. I felt Sasha' s greatness next to me, and how wonderful it was to have the ©opportunity for such experiments, I thcurht the experience was progressing nicely at this point, but unfortunately the discomfort continued to increase. It felt good to lay back and watch the sky, and close my eyes. With eyes closed, I had some marvelous imaeery, which most often took the form of various plastic shapes imbued with color. At times the colors reached intense brilliance of magnificent beauty. Yet nothing seenied to relieve the tension that was building up, and continued to build up throughout the afternoon. The rest of the afternoon, there were many experiences of great beauty, but I was always pulled into the great pain I was experiencing, and could not get free of it, I regretted asking for an additional m.g, of dosage, and felt I had too much, but saw nothing I could do but ride it through. The experience was so intense I fait I could do little to direct it, but just flowed with it. It was hard to gat my analytical mind to work. This showed up most strongly when I took a little walk aside with Sasha, and he computed the directions by the position of our shadow. I could in no way majre my mind follow the reasoning to establish direction, I simply went blank, and was astounded by my inability to think. The affedts continued well into the evening. Going down the hill, I felt at maximum intoxication, and at some moments had very beautiful experiences. They would lift me out of my pain into intense enjoyment, then I would subside back into I -2- the pain. In my first aleph 4 experience, the late afternoon and evening were glorious, but this time the tension held on right through the rest of the day, the • evening, and even through the night. It was not until the next day that I felt relaxed, euphoric, and at peace. The pain I felt all afternoon and evening was the rasult of experience the blackest side of my life. It seemed as though everything I had done was totally wrong, and I could only see the baack side of everything: my marriage, my move to Lone Fine, my withdrawal from life. I experienced myself as completely empty, just being a parasite on others, constantly taking and contributing very little. Such simple acta as tending the fire and washing the dishes brought temporary relief from •uch feelings. I felt all my major life decisions were wrong, and yet I could aee no way out, as I had boxed myself in by reducing my income, and moved into a eimple life style which I had no way to reverse. The thought that my activities at Multi-Media were no longer needed and I must find another source cf income waa extremely frightening. And the extreme irony was that I was supposed to be a proponent of higher conseaounsness, and man's limitless abilities, and yst I could find nothing but emptiness in myself. I wanted to crawl back to Lone Fine and die. During the night i churned and churned over these issues, and came to peace with returning to Lone Pine and becoming a better partner to <5*+/*- t if she really wished to return with me. I could see that n:y dissatisfactions were my unwillingness to face unsatisfactory sreas in myself, which I resolved to correct. Cne of the main elements here was to stop using her unwillincness as an excuse for me not to do things which I know in my heart should be done. The following day was by and large a day cf great peace and warmth. It was marvelous to be with the rest of the ercup, and I was still quite open to all o* the surrounding baauty. Plunging into such activities as giving K<>j*-k a bath with total un-self- eooaciousness was a great joy. I could rsee and appreciate the wonderful qualities of all the other group members. During the next few days, anxiety returned muif times, anc it took time to totally wear off the tension. However, I began to learn ways to dissipate thn pain. This ia primarily by instead of allowing myself to be blocked by the pain, to turn it around and see what can be done. There would follow a flow of creative ideas of many alternative cctions, which felt very pood to i.ee. I learned the importance of once seeing what needed to be done, to move quickly, before letharpy set? in, aa the moving ana acting releases new anergy. Thu drive back to Lone Pine was a very beautiful one for both ^"^ and myself waa like having another good experience, as we were both wide open. much energy, and were not tired from the long drive. We both felt very good to be home again, and we have much new energy and insight. It r c \% ->r-t + + wm \vrwv ty. vU-»^ \C*»vi ^lA-VATv. C*. -A-(V} & v. ^^ \o |3, 5 L^Vt-"V - <l M ^Jc a. c<-n>V- ^ » (ja> OU-KW, / toJ.gH ^v<X^..l ■. £ y\.£ 1 e . Iff _ „ / i. ■ .4. .a. f? . t t i. _. _ . <■> ^-, j_ REPORT OF EXPERIENCE WITH MDMA Datsi November 11, 1978 Participants: Tktia**- , <?<**<*- , j^-^r Dosage: Ck.* 1 * 100 m.g.; "7X//-C**. and &//y 120 m.g. Initial ingestion was at 12:40 p.m. The experience continued smoothly for all. It was a cold and stormy day outside, so except for one brief interlude for /<e/ly , the participants remained inside all day. For the first two hours, the sun broke through the clouds so it was pleasant in the living room. When the cloud cover became more solid, a fire was started and maintained through the day and evening. The affects weren't noticed too much at first. I notice only slightly after 1/2 hour; I wonder if I am getting somewhat immune. The mountains, with some fresh snow and cloud cover, are very beautiful. After about 40 minutes, " become aware that I am carrying a great burden. It is not unpleasant, but interferes with the free-flowing intoxication often previously experienced. It gradually subsides as I pay attention to the beauty around me. 2t20 p.m. All take 40 m.g. supplement. Ws are all feeling very good, very relaxed. i<tM Y <*~d %*.«-+'* s^ faces turn very soft and very beautiful. We have very free, very open discussion. T&i+*+- is particularly insightful and responsive, seeming to know exactly what we are saying ev en as we forti the words. I take the dogs outside. It is sharp and clear and cold. I am transported by the beauty, particularly the wonder of the clouds and the sky. I feel the enormity of this research project and its potential meaning to mankind, how marvelous It is to be able to have such an experience, and I feel most grateful to be a participant in such a glorious movement. I am aware of /*s^ W <?-v and how marvelous it all is. I enjoy the outside beauty and freedom for about 20 minutes, then feel called to rejoin the girls. It is extremely pleasant around the fire, feeling our closeness and enloying the flames. <&*/+ feels very languid, called inward. >«*«—■ P lavs and sings to us; it is most beautiful. I feel much energy, and readily get up to get things others wish — tomato juice, later soup. i The experience trails off leaving us all very mellow. ™*~ ^LT^-dTd „ we play a tape, and nap in front of the fire until we decide to retire at 9.00 p.m. Th. next morning I feel light and energetic, quite different than I usually JJj* after using this substance. We all feel good, and have a nice hike in th« brilliant clear sunshine, but somewhat nippy air. We are all open to the outside b-.ty. %tro I L. 2L f // n-Hh *). /Vaj n H - -f-t-f- ■HV ,10 U'l QiU, 1 -^ J. /CL-fUi- A 'A K-t r^ ^ ^7 1 h > /fc A 7, 7 ^U' /'(-s'l. ^IP-M p<? «,( ■f^^V-j ^ WW c^U t,jLw y^ivJ- /U^A- ^^W /& -k^ X^Ch ^ <v«w ^ "^ ^ a -^ ^<wu^ 1 fa ^u. frQ fry &t<<*o/tUii*( - ^n,'^, - ^yt^'^j^ ^ta- ^ u . . 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',,'■. 1~^ \ 3>o5 a l(U^iC« ofe X K^V* JUL X /+fau tWC 5 Job ^o4 t ofe; - ~ Neva a**c^ £3 Vl t*- ~~Toj4i ea^sL <s~*<f ~~~fi(eo , <C«^*&s». a*<< ~Ze(*L< j £w«_ revicus experiences with earlii cl ielic subst oven an excellent subject. not had an e: ' v - seve 1 : -.ce the adverse reaction of /W^e, , Neva- tried the experience once and found it very uncomfortal . ' * her severe stomach pains for sever lis was about 6-7 years ago. f^f-ia^o. has been a ?^rd subject •" 5 an < tA*o has Leer an excellent subject with other substance?, = Lous to tr- . "' i vere e?«ev to part ' " e in the Christmas Day experiment, Lngfu] Christmas Eve - 1 sr. : 7Sy>^«.A oc^e/ Zek^_ 120 . . 11 others 100 m.g. 10:4-5 Start. <5w-&*- Ly, lcc£<<**^- waking, /Vei^»_ P little dizzy like diet control viously, <2w~- feels slightly. Ne***- lizzy, <3>«"'*<-- somew] at. Zef^e. r eels it com . - 1 t pull S !U. °:' r Heis*- f. vxrl; hard »<** to keep from fainting. Finds it hard to concentrate, to r eel bett . veryone is it- " ow everyone else is lighted u . The eyes partic" look I' uid. ' take U0 m.g. supplem< j ^ience continues with I I rienc/ great irm d closeness. T, 'e stay c ? cse Ntiso- does not feel like tside. Others go out in the bright surshine bri F] , and enjoy the fresh air, but principally all want tc stay together, It fee" to be close, and talk freely. Everyone becomes quite relaxed. ience tapers cf r very nicely tc a ' leasant afternoon and eveninj . NQvtK- is aware that she r the experience. ~T^ee> dro: --? 1 the worries and ;erns of the "medical schoi '. 'e all feel much closer to each other. T^fia^^ 4 C«*^j2*_ have enjoyed the experience very much, and the softness and relaxat Lt. 11 are grat r the opportunity to spend Christr- Bob <H 6<uuw/AyK 4^o pwUj /S ytu^'; h^ rv Lji ^\^t KlA i / 17 / 0. ^VA/vv °W. ^ ^.do Y->"y<V*v r£ l/i U c{ Cvtv^ ^ / n Y jh\; \h v ^^ L aa^TVc 4 - ' {/ ^^rf]\£ " Bo 5" 4 >S /^j h^. /. 'WW. , frK. U,w^ VvO i^- :Wy^ ^ wvu^ ly^p ;w. i^vV/ R" aJ^- t/^~ <2 t/ 1 ^ ^ C-vtvv, r nu^ u^wt ^ <A/l Uv, ^ °WM v/tT«--~ , W^^/ ^ ' ^ J ^v^ /L t ( "Trrp^ iu^ vm h^Ml ^ °^ l ^^ = iue^ «(^ «*,-, u. L^WtOA<viA & tfuiAi/i ,s ^ ^f ^ (Wo Uyw-C»(X * — 4* Vj — - AmwVhj I) ""^KVVv > K r — it- IUJ ft fM.^ Owvj/ c </ K_ Mk^^ r"H l^MU^l (M^L. kil- >^) L U" MDMA. REPORT OF EXPERIMENT WITH MBBA Date l November 25, 1975 Participants: y>c\»icr a.*-d d^i't>l>c>-+k. , ^cAe a^-c/ <?^42**— Initial dosage: 100 m.g. for X<\»ieir , £jit>UH~a*d <5*~/e<. 120 m.g. for ZeKe The chemical was infested at 10:50 A.M. 11:05 ^wa. reports petting tingly, e«*ited, I feel some euphoria 11 j 23 I feel intoxicated, much more than in recent experiments 11:25 /<tw€^- feels real strong. (jr-Lhott^ feels nothing, is worried that it won't work because she takes so many different drugs that she is refractory, and will need a lot more. Ilt35 &'&x><- finally feels it strongly. She lies down on the floor, is tingly. Her face is quite drawn; she experiences many conflicts. Che doesn't want to discuss in front of . /i^" e ^ , Cw*_ encourages her to move out to the back patio in the sun, and stays