Citation: Loney Emo Guy. "The Candle God: experience with Ketamine (ID 9575)". Erowid.org. Aug 28, 2002. erowid.org/exp/9575
My previous experiences with Ketamine had been great. I'm writing this a while after the event, but with full knowledge of everything I did that night. Afterall, this was the best special K experience of my life. During this event, I had been taking the anti-depressant Effexor and the anti-psychotic Risperdol. *Note: I'm not a fucked up kid, I just had a rough past that led to suicide attempts. I am currently over that horrible phase in my life*
T 0:00- I rub my shoulder with an alcohol schwab and measure out 100 mg's of liquid K into a needle. I inject it and lie down in my bean bag chair. It was all dark in the room except for about 25 candles burning in front of me.
T 0:03- I feel the body buzz of the K creep up on me. Noises seem louder and a buzz feeling enters my head. The flames on the candle seem like they are looking at me and smiling.
T 0:06- It is very hard to move. I expected this due to all of my other K experiences. My body feels like its stuck in the bean bag chair and I am only able to speak with the candles. Then I can feel the effect like I had went down one story on an elevator as I slip deeper into my bean bag.
T 0:08- Yes, the K hole. The candles twirl their flames at each other. As if deciding who is the 'master' candle. I stare at them smiling. Very dizzy and my point of vision is only focused on the candles. I hear buzzes and something trying to speak to me. There is very intense comfort and feeling like I belong here.
T 0:20- Very deep into the K hole. A candle with a smile in its wax is in the center. It talks to me. I hear storys about a horrible war. And how in the end, 'He' was the winner. All of the other candles look up to him and he wants to know if I will join his other disciples. I think for a very long time. It seems so real. I think about my life and if I should join his kingdom.
T 0:30- I finally tell him that I can't join it. This is a state of mind I will not be at all the time. I promise to visit him again and that I would be privledged to be under his kingdom. Suddenly, my dad walks in. Oh shit, I try to jump up and say I'm alright. He's so tired he doesnt even notice my slurred speech and my lathargic movements. He leaves and I wonder to myself what the hell did I just go through.
T 0:45- The K is weakened in my body and I just lie in the bean bag chair and think of how good I feel. How my previous months had been hard and that I am over all of that stuff. Also of my great friends, the ones that I can always talk to about anything.
T 0:60- There are remaining vibes of feeling slightly drunk, and I get up and lie down on my bed. This was a great experience for me. I actually felt loved by an inanimate candle. I did keep my promise and visited his kingdom every now and then. But that first time was definatley the best.
Special K is by far my drug of choice. It sends you to a world where everything seems perfect. I hope everyone can find that perfect world even if it isn't by injecting Ketamine, or doing any drugs at all. Afterall, drugs aren't the focus of my life. Getting better and loving my life is.. take care.
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