Citation: Rocket. "Possible Antidepressant or Anxiolytic?: experience with Methoxetamine & MDPV (ID 92929)". Erowid.org. Dec 3, 2011. erowid.org/exp/92929
I just woke up from a 5 hour nap. I had spent the 2 days prior to the nap redosing MXE 25mg + MDPV 5mg every 5-6 hours.
The anti-depressant effects were immediate and I've woken up feeling like a completely changed person. I've been on SSRIs and other meds for years (still on Effexor ER) and have done my share of uppers/downers/lefters/righters but never a dissociative (no K/PCP exp, very limited DXM exp, lots of hippy crack (N2O) exp.)
I cannot explain how different life is without the normal 'fog' that depression uses to rob the true pleasure in life. I've been more productive, sociable and 'better' as a human being in the past 2 days than I've been on any drug in the past 10 years. I don't know what the long term consequences of my current research experiments will cost, but I'm VERY fucking excited that Big Pharma is now pushing our hard earned dollars into how exactly ketamine treats depression.
I can't stress how life changing the past 3 days have been. I feel like the 'real' me is finally back, as if the depressed me had robbed my body and brain of command for the past 2 decades of my life. I feel like a kid again. Things are interesting. I love learning—not that I didn't when I was depressed, but now picking up and learning a task seems trivial and purposeful. There's a certain 'push' or 'kick' in life.
Nicotine consumption went down 90% since first starting MXE treatment. Tobacco causes cancer and other problems, and these are no longer seen as justifiable vs the pros of smoking. I still get the urge to smoke, like after writing 'nicotine consumption' my brain lit up reminding me that a cig right now would be fantastic. The cig was not as fantastic as I had imagined it to be, and I put it out half way. But smoking still seems to agonise the Cool Receptor in my head.
Sex feels different. I feel like I just lost my virginity for the first time in my life, all the sex in the past not being equal in pleasure/value to my most recent sexual experience (same mrs!)
I don't feel like I've taken any drugs at all. Appetite is exceptionally good, brain and cognition are clear and the 'time dilation' now actually feels like I've normally been living life in a sped-up-anxious sort of tempo and that this 'dilation' is actually a step down to a more healthy life tempo.
It's not all perfect folks, don't get me wrong. This isn't a magic pill. Short term memory is sometimes off (though even sober it's very bad), reaching orgasm can be difficult due to the numbing sensation which is frequent primarily 2-6 hours into dosing. The drug is somewhat sedating and here PV helps a lot. I sometimes get light headaches on the comedown. minor Alice in Wonderland Syndrome when seated and focused on something for too long. Tolerance is going up and with it no doubt toxicity and side effects will rise as well.
These drugs were taken orally in capsules (both drugs together) or insufflated. Slight feeling of stomach uneasiness no matter (sublingual, oral, insufflated) almost like I'm hungry and full simultaneously.
Even if these effects don't last, just getting a glimpse of what the future holds in terms of treating depression is very fucking positive.
For better or worse, pain tolerance has gone up. I catch myself pulling nose hairs out with pleasure sometimes, I can be a bit too rough in bed, etc.
Who gives a shit about these minor side effects? Have you seen the ARs (adverse rxns) of the current ADs on the market?
'depression' in this context refers to a chronic major depression that is mostly treatment resistant along with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Also note that my daily 150mg Effexor XR dose cannot be ruled out as a factor as well, though I've been taking it for >9 months at that dose without this profound of a change.
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