DOSE:	15 mg	oral	2C-E	(liquid)
		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

188 lb

Had decided to celebrate introspectively each year on the Solstices. Winter typically brings a darker mood, so I hoped that recognizing the changing seasons and celebrating the lengthening of days would be a good thing to do as well as a good reason to evaluate my life.

Took ~15mg eyeballed mixed in water, and waited. [Erowid Note: Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts. See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
Effects came on slowly with a slight body-high and visuals. I wandered through my apartment though with no direction. I noted the fact that I felt completely neutral, with no pull in any direction, no particular trains of thought. I felt good and everything seemed nice.

Music sounded great and I got lost in a few tracks from my favorite IDM artists. Loaded a pipe with some marijuana and then noticed my Timothy Leary book The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I decided it might be nice to read a bit of that, but I wasn't ready yet. I set the pipe aside and promised to dedicate it to Timothy Leary later.

I was just sitting in my chair listening to music but felt like I should be doing more and decided to go for a walk. I spent a long time trying to decide the details of the walk, if I should wear a sweater, if I should bring music along on iPod, where I should go, if I should be outside during the day in this state, etc. I had to start journaling just to get some focus and data to sway me one way or the other. I decided iPod and sweater, and made note in my journal 'Don't forget sunglasses!' (cause I always do). Then I remembered the pipe I wanted to smoke, then remembered about its dedication to Leary...So, I had to hit the pipe and read the book. It was uneventful.

Went outside with my sweater and music and it was completely wrong! It was a nicer day than I had thought, so the sweater was bunk, and the music seemed to clash completely with the environment. I had to go back and dump them, then head back out.

I walked towards this large open area that I often went and decided that would be the way to go. At the front of the path is a small swampy area with large old trees before the trail begins. Normally my path doesn't take me too close and I barely notice them, but this time I heard music.

The grooviest Bongo music was coming from the area with the trees, and I thought maybe some hippies had found themselves there and were playing some music. I changed my path to head closer to the trees to check it out and see who was there, but the closer I got the less I saw anybody. The music got louder and it was really a great tune, but I couldn't find a source of it anywhere. When I arrived underneath the trees near the marsh and river runoff, the music was everywhere as if there should be live performers right where I stood. I realized that it was the trees, the environment, everything that was making this beautiful music. Now, I've heard 'music' before, where a dripping faucet has a catchy beat or something, but this was completely different, no sleight-of-mind was required and it sounded professional, and produced. It was wild and I sat listening to the track for a bit before feeling that I needed to move on.

A little bit down the trail was a bench I'd never really noticed before. The clouds were vibrant and breathing, so I thought it would be nice to sit on my back on this bench and look up at the sky a bit. I did, and it was nice, and airplanes flew by. Then I noticed these tall, waving trees on the other side of the path but still in my vision. The wind picked up and I could hear them rustle. It was another tune, but different this time. Less of a song and more like a voice, communication. I listened, looked, and took in the world around me, I understood the communication happening, from the tree to me. The wind was their breath and their voice carried to me. I thought of the four elements and realized that Air was the element of communication, of stories and thought. I thought of the native americans and the views of the lessons nature can teach us. I think I'm having one of those lessons right now. Then the wind died down, the path opened up before me again, I got up and kept walking wondering what else I would learn.

The next stop was a small creek running under a wooden bridge in the trail. There was a little area to stop off, so I sat down and listened to the water. The area was full of lushness and life, plants were thriving here. I noticed that they thrived due to the water source. The weeds and brush rustled as a breeze passed by and I saw the water running, the paths it had taken in through the dirt around, the obstacles it went around, and everywhere it touched was alive. Water's primary power in zen stories is in its ability to always change, when blocked it goes around and I saw it was this suppleness and transformation that the plants were relying on and thriving due to. Water is the element of change, the difference in the mud and the dirt is that the mud can maintain form even under stress. The mud can stick together, change shape, while the dirt can only shatter. I was learning about the elements, and this nature trail was providing the lesson. I thanked them and continued on.

For some reason I don't remember where I learned the lesson of the fire element. There's a blank spot in my memory between the water and the final lesson. I had walked very long and learned about fire at some point, learned that it's the element of action and impetus, and that it's what was missing from my life. I'll have to walk the path again some time and see if I can find the place.

After walking farther than I ever had and losing track of time. I ended up at another small river bridge in the nicer part of town where the bridge was a nice cement with metal reinforcement on the sides, trees surrounded, a lovely wooden fence guardrail was built up. I sat down and wondered if these were the plants that would tell me about the final element of Earth. I waited, listening, watching, but felt that the plants didn't want to tell me. They had a smugness about them. I was hungry, I was tired. I was farther from home than I had been on this path before and knew it was a hike back. I had to learn my last lesson though, but these plants wouldn't tell me! I'd have to teach myself. What do I know about the earth element. It's Earth, it's ground, it's grounding, rooting to reality. To reality, grounding to reality. My current situation hit me. I'm hungry, I'm tired, it's getting later in the day, I need to head back now, while I still can! The wind picked back up and I felt the plants were laughing, like a master laughing at the student getting the obvious that was there all along. I thanked them humbly and hurried to leave.

I took a shortcut on the way back through more residential paths than open space. My final lesson happened as I went beneath an underpass. As I emerged, I heard somebody coughing right behind me. I stopped and looked around, there was nobody near. Nobody above, on the other side, where the coughing came from only stood some weak looking unhealthy plants/weeds, not thriving nearly as much as the others nearby. Suddenly where my metal sunglasses met my temples I felt an intense buzzing, electric shock. Out of pain-reflex I took them off quickly. I looked at them, they sizzled in my hands. It seemed to make no sense. Then I heard the loud, droning buzz, looked up and saw gigantic power lines were going down this area, right above the underpass. I looked again at the plants and realized they were sick, it was the plants who had coughed and it was because of this powerline. I felt sad for our technology and felt the impact we have on our environment in more ways than this. I still had to get home, so went.

I got home completely exhausted. Hands too heavy to type about the journey. Got some orange juice and water, felt better. Made some soup, some tea, a bowl, and rested the rest of the evening.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 86836
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Dec 9, 2010	Views: 15,068
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
2C-E (137) : Alone (16), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)