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The Night I Forgot Myself
Mushrooms & Chocolate (edible)
Citation:   fxscreamer. "The Night I Forgot Myself: An Experience with Mushrooms & Chocolate (edible) (exp86572)". Erowid.org. Jan 12, 2021. erowid.org/exp/86572

 
DOSE:
1 oral Mushrooms (edible / food)
    oral Chocolate  
BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb
I had considered myself an experienced tripper in the past, mainly doing a lot of designer drugs (2C-E, 4-HO-Mipt, 5-Meo-dipt, etc), also including LSD, but I had never done mushrooms before. I always thought how strange it was for myself to never have tried such a mainstream substance compared to the rare ones I was used to.

I was in college, and there was going to be a big party at my place. Conveniently, one of my friends knew some people that were going to have mushrooms available, and were taking pre-orders before the night started. I found out that these weren't just ordinary mushrooms. They had been baked and neatly infused in starlike chocolate wheels, even shrink wrapped. My friend was asking me if I'd go in and split the bar with him, but deep down I had an issue with this because I really wanted to make sure I got the full mushroom experience. I heard a standard dose was around 8oz, and was thinking the chocolate was as well. I ended up getting my piece of chocolate, and gobbled the whole thing down. It was very rich and made my mouth dry. It also had a bit of a weird after taste, most likely from the mushrooms. People started arriving at the party, and the music had begun. I had my own room in the place, and a bunch of my friends, who were also part-taking in the trip, decided to hang out in there. I had dual monitors on my computer running the electric sheep screensaver, and a comfy couch. I realized there was probably about 6-7 people now in my room, but everyone was having a good time.

About 10-20 minutes after eating the chocolate bar, I started feeling the mushrooms kicking in. From my past experiences, I was used to faster onsets with drugs like 4-HO-Mipt, so I thought nothing of it. The feeling and sensations I was getting were actually similar to 4-HO-Mipt in many ways, and the anxiety was beginning to build through my body. About 45 minutes in I checked my watch, trying to remember back when I dosed. I felt a little concerned, because my current state was equal to my strongest trips I had experienced, and I had a LONG way to go before I peaked. I remember telling one of my friends (a good trip buddy we'll call Frank) that it was getting very intense, very early. Frank just started laughing, then I started with him, but in the back of my mind I was saying 'crap'. A bit of sarcasm was running through my mind about what was happening to me, cause secretly, I was curious to see where this journey would take me. I was now venturing into the unknown as the first hour passed.

The party had really started kicking in, and tons of people were showing up now. My mind was starting to fold on itself. As I approached the 2 hour mark, thoughts were like a high speed bullet train. Whenever I tried to speak, it was too late, because the words I was going to speak were now flooded with new words and thoughts. The visuals were definitely flooding their way into my eyes. They were on par with my past experiences, but I was too distracted with what was going on in my mind. Guests were now coming in my room and saying hello. Someone came up to me and introduced themselves (let's call him Kyle), and then asked me for my name. My name?………um………I was speechless. I had forgotten my name, who I was, and where I was going next. I had forgotten myself. At this point, I became extremely embarrassed, and felt like I was losing my sanity. I then decided I was going to the rooftops to look out over the city and clear my head. Kyle knew I looked distraught, and came with me. I found out that Kyle was also a very experienced tripper, and through our clouded conversation on the rooftop, I remember him saying something to the phrase 'sometimes you just have to let go', apparently trying to help me through my psychological confusion on this trip. I was so content of holding onto myself, my ego, that it was making me forget just as fast, if that makes any sense. I had experienced true ego loss for my first time.

I then went downstairs and my trip buddy Frank was having a blast, along with some other people. Our place had a giant open stair case that wrapped from floor to floor. I remember saying something to Frank, but then became confused by what I had just said. I sat there paused, looked at him, and asked if I had just made any sense. I was losing the concept of the English language, and felt like I was speaking gibberish or in fragments. I started walking up the stairs again, and they followed, in silence. I then stopped, they stopped. I started giggling, feeling like I was some leader of a tribe. I finally ventured my way back into my room and sat in the corner, as everyone else was hanging out. It seemed I could hear a freight train blasting through my brain, making it impossible for me to converse with the group. I felt like a character in Looney Tunes where they take their finger and move it back and forth over their mouth indicating they are crazy.

Then it dawned on me. How long have I been like this? It's been forever! The haunting thought began to creep up in my mind..'What if I'm like this….forever? What if I'm stuck and can never go back to being sane and sober?! OH MY GOD!'. I started thinking of how I would explain this to my family, and what would happen to my life. School would now be pointless because I couldn't even gather myself enough to construct a sentence. After having a minor freakout, I remembered I was wearing a watch, and looked at it. Trying my hardest to remember when dosing, I believed I had only been going for about 3-4 hours, then I realized it was still night time and the party was in full swing. I had been affected by severe time dilation. I collected myself and went into the next room. I sat on the arm of a couch and talked with a friend of mine who was drinking scotch. We ended up talking about different scotches, and he pointed to his clear glass, 'how much scotch do you think is in this glass.'……I calmly replied 'I wouldn't know, I don't drink scotch.' Everyone in the room started laughing, and I was oblivious to why.

As the night rolled on, and I started to come down, I finally came down enough to the realm of my previous trip experiences. Since I ate the mushroom chocolate bar, I don't exactly know how much I took. It was by far my strongest trip I had done, and one of my most thought provoking experiences to date. I'll always remember this as the trip where I forgot myself.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 86572
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Jan 12, 2021Views: 1,005
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Mushrooms (39) : Large Group (10+) (19), Combinations (3), First Times (2)

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