Nutmeg. I first read about it in the appendix of Naked Lunch. I'd never got really stoned before but I liked a drink, and it sounded interesting. The first time, I ate a whole tub (25g), didn't feel any effects that evening, and had a horrible time the next morning. I had to go to my psychiatrist and I felt like I'd downed two pints of vodka and could barely see. I vowed never to try it again.
A year later I got into pot, and found that smoking/snorting small amounts of nutmeg (a gram or two) did 'something'. I started mixing it into my skunk, which I used to smoke every day, with some strange results. I got incredibly stoned in a strange, fuzzy way. The sharpness of perception I normally felt with pot was gone, and when the weed wore off, this strange, detached feeling lingered on. I woke up one morning in mental agony. I wasn't stoned or hallucinating, but there was a chair by the bed, and I felt that it was 'staring' at me. I was depressed and feeling very strange. Time was passing slowly, and being alive felt excruciating for no reason. For weeks I was scared of walking down the road, as I thought cars were going to try to run me down. I put this down to pot and gave up.
A few months later, mostly recovered, I finally found the best way to take nutmeg: eating it. I was need of getting stoned, having cut cannabis out of my life, and I ate about 10g of the ready-ground stuff. Like the last time I ate it, nothing happened until the next morning, except that this time it was great. I felt utterly joyful and at peace with the world. I lay around all day, just relaxed and feeling good, and very 'drunk' too. Once the effects wore off, I felt a distinct come-down; I was quite miserable and irritable. This passed in a day or two.
Finally it occured to me to eat it in the morning. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I ate two fresh nutmegs at 7am (bear in mind that I am skinny and not very tolerant of most drugs, hence the low dose). An hour later I was being driven to see my friends. Sitting in the car, I felt an enormous sense of joy at being alive. I was happy just sitting, and the world looked more beautiful than anything I'd ever seen. I lay in the sun with my friends for a while. I closed my eyes and let thoughts drift through my head, the images intensified as if I'd been smoking weed.
At about 10am, intoxication started to set in slowly. I felt a bit drunk at first. The colour green changed slightly in way I can't describe. Gradually this drunk/stoned feeling intensified over the next three hours. We saw a film, not a very good one; no-one enjoyed it except me. The experience by then was like marijuana, but less intense, and MUCH happier. I ate and went home. Waiting at the bus stop, I started getting a bit nervous; I could hear people at the bus stop talking about me. I think I must have been imagining this; it was a bit like some paranoid experiences I've had with weed (though not as strong).
The next day, I was sober, but I still felt better than normal. Emotionally, I'm quite numb normally, but my feelings were more intense that day. I read another William Burroughs book (Junky), and enjoyed it. I felt more involved in the reading than I usually do. The intensified feelings included nervousness, and I did get quite scared going out; I was more aware of people looking at me and talking about me. A couple of times I felt sure that I heard strangers say my name. I came close to having a panic attack on the bus, something which I've not experienced since giving up pot.
In he following days I had return to my normal mood, and things felt more painful, though maybe only compared to my nutmeg high. The nervous (paranoid?) thoughts continued for another week.
It's a really fun drug, at least as good as pot; don't put off by the people who take too much, try small amounts (one or two whole nutmegs) and work up to a nice dose, bearing in mind that it can take as long as 5-6 hours to work, and that nutmegs vary in strength. Don't smoke it. However, I've been put off it by the after-effects, even though I only took sub-hallucinogenic doses. I've read information that suggests that myristicin is quite closely related to the methylenedioxyamphetamines (MMDA specifically), and therefore has a similar, and possibly permanent (the research into this is inconclusive) effect on serotonin in the brain. This would explain the after-effects of depression and anxiety (but not the paranoia if that's what I was experiencing). It's probably fine in healthy-minded people, but not me.
PS- I think I should add that I was on various different antidepressants when most of these trips took place.
