Follow @Erowid on Twitter!
Love at First Sassy
MDA? (sold a MDMA)
by Bun
Citation:   Bun. "Love at First Sassy: An Experience with MDA? (sold a MDMA) (ID 82430)". Feb 28, 2011.

DOSE: T+ 0:00 100 mg oral MDA (capsule)
  T+ 1:00 1 oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine  
  T+ 1:00 1 oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine  
  T+ 0:00   smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  


[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!] Around 12:30 a.m., he texted me to say he was fine, that he got to his girlfriend's house, and that he was going to stay in for the rest of the night.

'Great,' I thought. 'What have I done to my friends, and why won’t they trip with the guy that gave them the drugs? Bah!'

So I drove around a little more and noticed little else than a mild electric mushroom glow. I wasn't hallucinating at all. I got home and, thinking the Sassy would wear off in a few hours, I decided to get in bed and do some reading and writing and listening to music by lamplight before crashing for the night.

Oh, boy.

At the precise moment that the title track on Wilco's 'Sky Blue Sky' came through my headphones, all the shadows in the room began to wave and bump around – a little to the left, a little to the right, coming out off the wall, lying and curling back onto it. The large light reflection coming through the blind-covered window to my left slowly – and yet instantaneously – morphed into a smiling skull that grinned from imaginary ear to imaginary ear. I live in the middle of town on the third story, and there were thus countless light reflections in my room, all of which started filling walls or decorating my floor, effects, nightstand, and dresser. Right as Jeff Tweedy started to sing the first stanza of track four ('Sky Blue Sky'), his words changed my field of vision. 'Windows open . . . and raining in; maroon, yellow, blue, gold and gray': Right as those last words faded down my ear canal, the light reflections on my walls started waving, flashing, and streaking those very colors.

I smoked many cigarettes at my window looking out on the sleeping town and became mesmerized by each and every light source that I saw. Some grew into deep purple electric alien-like objects that glowed and breathed. I was happy to be at that place at that time.

Little else happened save a semi-mind-blowing revelation that struck me around 5 a.m.: [Borrowing a little language from my other report] I saw myself acting in my life over the past 6 months as a character in a narrative – an author-written character in a printed narrative, where my person was defined by a finite set of particular words definitively printed and permanently bound into a book. I saw myself not as a person living a life, but merely as a factitious character, a pathetic drug addict, amid a sea on intertexuality, and released into the world by an unknown author: A prodigal son manacled to a fixed language definition of his person.

That night, I wrote the following sentence:
'Take your life, place yourself in a narrative, and interpret your own character. Distill your soul's agency out of the pap, and ask yourself if you've ever really seen your own face. Only narrative can show you what life has been hiding from you.'

When my life – my narrative-immured character, that is – appeared before my eyes, I somehow felt liberated. [end borrowing from other report]

But that trail didn't go much further, and I finally fell asleep listening to trippy tunes around 7 a.m. while weighing the cosmic necessity of dropping this drug again now that we knew what it was and what it did.

Read 'Beauty’s Rebirth' for the rest of story involving my next MDA trip two days later, when my life changed forever.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 82430
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: Feb 28, 2011Views: 14,551
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults