Review Erowid at GreatNonprofits.org
Help us be a "Top Rated Nonprofit" again this year and spread
honest info (good or bad) about psychedelics & other psychoactive drugs.
("Share Your Story" link. Needs quick login creation but no verification of contact info)
Responsible Maximized Use / Ecstasy
Ecstasy
Citation:   nobodyimportant. "Responsible Maximized Use / Ecstasy: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp8058)". Erowid.org. Jul 13, 2001. erowid.org/exp/8058

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 170 lb
Two and a half experiences

I first tried Ecstasy in February, and minus several boring highs on pot and alcohol, it was my first experience with a Real Drug. I was alone, and the first experience was overwhelmingly wonderful - I took five baths that night, listened to music, frolicked in my fuzzy comforter, looked in the mirror a bunch, and looked out in amazement at the city lights out my window. Ecstasy helped me displace self-criticism enough to truly see my own beauty - it was the first time I could SEE myself as physically beautiful, actually. Taking Ecstasy marked the final acceptance of loss - the end of mourning the loss of a woman I deeply loved. I took it the night after my first successful date with another woman, so I was already in a positive mood. Ecstasy opened the door to my heart, deepend the spiritual journey I was on, and gave me a deeper feeling of understanding of true, unconditional love than I had ever felt before.

Perhaps because it was the first drug I took (or an impurity?), I went through an hour-long stage of 'uncontrollable mind'. I went insane for about an hour, lying on my bed, unable to control my thoughts, racing from a card game, to a horse, to a lake, etc. All very neutral thoughts, but a little unsettling. I saw insanity - the thin line between my normal mind and complete insanity. I remembered that this too was a temporary state, and was able to relax and let my mind fly around where it wished. I was actually able to go to sleep, and never even experienced a negative coming down.

I took a half tablet a week later, as a foolish experiment (I knew my seratonin stores might not be replenished yet), and the experience was terrible. I felt like the world was empty. I was depressed for several days. It really turned me off to E, and I gave the rest of my pills away. It was a learning experience - I saw exactly how the world could be wonderfully full, or painfully empty, all dependent on one thing -- my mind. Not the world, but my mind.

In June, I decided to give E another shot. This time I was better prepared, well-educated about it, and decided to do it the 'right way'. Because I was able to take E with virtually NO after-effects (I felt great the next day, had no depression, no physical fatigue - I was just a bit tired), I'd like to share the experience with those who are interested. Here is what worked wonderfully:

T+0:00 - 1 tablet taken, orally, with a multi-vitamin
T+0:40 - friends stop over unexpectedly JUST as I am coming up, but they had known I had taken E. Wow, I am confused! We hang out at my place, I try to eat some carmel ice-cream cake (it tastes great, but I am not hungry), and I get an incredible back-rub from a friend. I am very happy. We go to the video store and I end up dancing in the aisles and loving everyone and everything. I was just overflowing with love and acceptance. Made a brief mental note to remember this, and then just enjoyed life.
T+2:00 - back to a friend's house with a movie. Gave a backrub (with kisses). Absolute bliss and love.
T+2:45 - Sat down to watch the movie. Couldn't sit still, walked home.
T+3:00 - back at home I put on some techno, dance a bit, and start to feel myself coming down. The feeling of anxiety and nervousness was tough. This is when I started the routine that really seemed to work.
T+3:15 - Drank juice enhanced with St. John's Wort, took a multi-vitamin and a super-vitamin C. My purpose was to slow oxidation, and use St. JW as a SSRI.
T+3:30 - put on some GREAT classical music - really mellow, which eliminated the anxiety almost completely.
T+4:00 and every half hour until bed - Drank a bunch more of the juice, took another vitamin C. Keep myself loaded with SSRI's and vit C.

Slept peacefully, remembered some really wonderful dreams.

Upon waking, I kept myself dosed with St. John's Wort and Vitamins for about 24 hours afterwards. I had elevated mood for the entire week (NO depression, just a little empty feeling occasionally), felt no 'static in the brain', and my sleep pattern returned to normal after only one 12-hour night's sleep.

I would recommend SSRI's, vit C, and really good, mellow, classical music to anyone who is serious about reducing damage and coming down in the easiest way possible.

I hope to be able to experiment with E about every four months, if available. My impression is that it's a very powerful drug that can be very dangerous, but both times I have experienced the positive effects of E, I have learned about myself, and about love and acceptance. I would just say - be careful, and be responsible... everything in moderation, and take good care of your mind and your body.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 8058
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 13, 2001Views: 35,590
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
MDMA (3), St. John's Wort (142) : Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), Various (28)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults