I had recently quit using all substances, excluding alcohol and smokeless tobacco. I was sober for about a month and feeling great. Long story short I decided to drink one night with a couple of close friends and my girlfriend at the time. We started off slow, but slowly picked up. We were taking shots left and right, toasting to everything. Soon I was mixing half cups of vodka with half cups of beer and before long I was extremely intoxicated. My tolerance to drugs and alcohol were extremely low as I hadn't been drinking much at all, even before I stopped using illegal substances.
Basically what happened is I got drunk and remember being really upset and fearing a panic attack. I left the room we were drinking in for my room where I consumed 1 mg of lorazepam, about 1-2 hours after we started drinking, for which I had a prescription for anxiety. After letting the pills dissolve in my mouth I remember an instant loss of inhibition and a general feeling of 'not giving a shit.' Sometime after consuming the first milligram I took the rest of the bottle for reasons I can't really rationalize.
Immediately after taking the rest of the pills, 13.5 total, .5 mg, I completely blacked out. I remember a few other things after this point where I was snapped back into consciousness. The first is when a couple of police officers showed up at my room with paramedics. I don't remember what was said between myself and them, but I remember leaving my building and getting in an ambulance. My roommate who was there when the cops and paramedics were there told me that when I was talking to the police officers and paramedics that I poured out 'the biggest line of snuff tobacco [he] had ever seen.' I apparently made a loud outburst at one officer when he inquired about what I was doing, yelling 'WHAT, this is legal!' I tried doing a line of snuff as big as he claimed the day after and couldn't breathe for a couple of seconds after I insufflated the tobacco. I think if I wasn't that royally fucked up it wouldn't have been possible. I like to think maybe the added stimulation from the snuff could have kept me going enough so that I wouldn't die, but this is just skepticism.
I think I may have thrown up in the ambulance, but I am not sure. After that everything faded away into darkness. I woke up once more in the hospital where they were attaching all kinds of wires to me and made me a whole bottle of liquidated charcoal. After this, I slept a long time. I woke up the next day and exited the hospital with no real recollection of what actually happened, but I was told some pretty awful things that I had done when I was under the influence. The first thing was that I assaulted my girlfriend. This is hard for me to deal with because I have no remembrance of the event and I am not a violent person at all. I think the combination of the alcohol and lorazepam did this to me. I strongly urge anyone who is using this prescription drug to not drink while using it. I also learned from friends who were around me while I was intoxicated that I wasn't making any sense with anything I was saying, but that I was really angry and I did not seem to be acting like myself. I didn't know what had happened that night, but was informed the next day upon returning to my building and confronting my girlfriend, who was incredibly scared of me. I regret this experience more than any other drug combination, or drug experience - period.
That next day with the mounting stress of criminal charges, which were pressed, I smoked a bowl of some dank marijuana with a good friend of mine and I remember tripping out hard. I assumed the lorazepam was still in my system. My bed was rolling like waves in the ocean and my walls were collapsing around me. I felt like I was going crazy because I remember hearing whole songs in my head. Intricate pieces that I know I have never heard before. It went from classical, to rock; to folk...It was very strange. Shortly after that I passed out and woke up to more police officers at my door, this time with a summons.
The moral of my story is simple: don't take lorazepam with alcohol, not even a small dose...It is very dangerous and your personal relationships could and probably will suffer.
