DOSE:	1440 mg	oral	DXM	(pill / tablet)
	192 mg	oral	Chlorpheniramine Maleate	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

I starting using DXM (via Coricidin Cough & Cold) in March of 2004 (I was a HS Junior). A few kids in my Math class spoke about it, and having been completely depressed and unable to get anything harder, I decided to try it. None of them knew the bad side about it, and having no care at that point in life (being so depressed) I decided to go for it.

I started taking just 4 little red pills. Loved it, and did it 3-4 times a week, increasing until late May when I had a mental breakdown, was suicidal, and spent two weeks in the sixth four. Fun! I think this was provoked with the use, but was almost inevitable for I was unbearably depressed to begin with.

I paused the use, but started right back up using constantly. I even had my mother believing a ridiculous reason that it is the best remedy to runny nose-- For my school was always freezing and I had constant runny noses, and this would work best, as said by my school nurse. TOTAL LIE. But, she kept buying it like crazy. Finally, I knew enough was enough, so I did as the rest, and stole it all of the time along with buying it.

Then, it went behind the shelves and my mother would pick it up here and there, along with whoever else I could coax into it. No one ever really caught on. Once they did, I stopped asking others for the help, and settled for other forms, regular cough capsules, syrups, etc.

By the time my senior year was ending, I was hospitalized again, then shortly after I was placed on a method of home-schooling via a teacher from school coming to my house often dealing with my in-school material, and was that way from March into May. And, I was still using.

This is all very stupid, irresponsible, and I am in utter dissapointment of myself. But, I'm sharing this so people can see the realities and fact of how anyone can be so stupid.

So, returned to school, nearly lost my best friend due to the use.

Days in school I was completely robotic. It got to the point I couldn't understand half of the subject within the teacher's lingo in front of the class. I was always tired, my eyes were a constant glass. It was very noticable, but only a few knew, and just didn't think much of it.

So, graduated, summer came-- Still used. It was obviously an addiction for a long time, I had read Erowid's various pages of information all of the time reminding my stupid self of what I was doing, and not doing in life. But, I was just so unhappy to begin with, that nothing really mattered, but the high that I got. It was incredible and I liked it far more than any toying with other drugs I tried, or playing with pain killers, sedatives, etc.

However, I did overuse Ambien constantly. As well, I did use a lot of Percoset. A time came when I was using a lot of Flexerall and Valium. Those are with the DXM, and keeping in mind the Ambien use definitely did not help with the worsening depression. Also, since I was in 9th grade, I had been diagnosed with depression. With all of this use, it was up to ADHD, SAD, and Bipolar Disorder, that was up until my last use.

So, the last use comes up. I was in my second year graduated from HS, it was during the beginning of the Spring semester of 2007. I had openly been using my favorite Coricidin for quite a while, again, because at an older age I could lie my way into getting it myself. One trip to a local mall, I went into a CVS for a box or two, and rather noticed no real threat of being caught stealing, so I took the entire shelf of Coricidin's Cold & Cough, that was 12 boxes. I was fit for a while! Dumped them into my bag from Rue 21, and slipped through the side of the security walls, and didn't get caught. I was ecstatic.

So, over a week or two, I was using every single night and going to class completely robotic and 'gone.' Everyone noticed, but I was also very playful, friendly, giddy, etc. All just very happy. However, when I got down to my last three boxes, I figured, a box and a half was usual at this point, and taking two boxes would leave me with one-- Being of no real high. So, I figured I would just take them all, and enjoy the night.

So, nighttime fell. I grabbed a tall glass of Iced-T. At this point I had been having major trouble taking pills. But, knowing this high, I just said screw it, swallow and get over it. It was around 7:30, when I usually would take them, because after all of the years of abusing, it took at least an hour for it to kick in. I believe my digestive track has (had, at least) a slow function somewhere along the way, but my liver enzymes were tested fine when my med. check-up came.

Anyway, so I tried to watch a comedy DVD of my favorite singing comedian, he made me smile here and there, but I was so dazed I could not comprehend, nor keep my eyes focused at all.

I went to lie on my bed, I was laying perfectly flat on my back, with my head upon a single pillow. Everything began to roll backwards, giving the room different looks and colors, I couldn't hear much around me, I couldn't focus on my actual atmosphere and room, but kept watching these things go on, especially when I closed my eyes and saw this entirely new world of situations, people, these rooms with things going on in them.

At some point later, I sat up on my bed, with my elbows rested upon my knees, I continually pushed my fingertips together and found it magical and very fascinating, I did this for a while, I suppose. But, with DXM trips, I found time seems to last forever, and never seems to progress, so what feels like forever-- Has been the last 7 minutes.

I recall my one roommate walking into my room (I lived on campus with 5 others in my apartment, I had an actual roommate, as well.) and sitting on my chair, asking me if I was ok, over and over. Then, I remember sitting up, pulled onto the back of my bed, turning and seeing my other roommate's face, while she was holding me up very tightly and telling me to calm down and relax. Rest, relax, etc.

Eventually the campus police, campus nurse, and apartment's lead showed up. They were asking me what I took, how much, and why. I told them everything. I think I actually smiled during the whole thing. Then at some time I was taken out on a stretcher, when this occurred, I have no real idea in the time frame. I got onto the ambulance and kept asking the EMT why I was on there. Why I had to wear oxygen, why I had to be strapped down, and why this and why that. I them remember being in the actual ER. Them removing my clothes, strapping me down, sticking me with the needles, and whatever else. My aunt showed up, and was freaking out while telling me it's ok, they'll take care of me.

After that whole 'thing I remembered' happened. Things turned for the worst, but at least I am actually alive. Alive, to tell them, but not happily. I recall being in almost, outer space-- as in total darkness, yet you could see enough to know it was total darkness. To my right was this gigantic thing, which almost looked like a keyboard, everything was very simple on it, just squares with a big outline, the colors were neon. Mostly of greens and yellow, I recall a pink and maybe orange. I walked back and forth a few times. I kept trying to push this one button, and kept looking off to the side, over and over again. I was panicking, and I seriously do remember saying to myself, 'How will I get back? How am I going to get back!'

Next, I saw (cliche?) a completely white room, there was a white light to the top left, it wasn't super bright, but it was what was giving the rest of my view white. I saw a detail-less shadow appear on my left, lightly swooping in and out, not very far into my vision, eventually, it was gone. Whenever this occurred, prior to the next.

I woke up in the ICU. My mother and sister were there to see how I was. This was the 3rd day I had been in there, I had no idea of what had really happened, but I knew it was the overdose. I started to cry immediately. I was so sorry, etc. The typical, you know it thing.

She told me I had flatlined for almost 30 seconds. Thank god, they got me on track, doped my body with plenty of Ativan and all those other 'goodies' until my tachycardia receeded, they returned me breathing on my own, and also returned me from a 'quick' coma. When I went to wipe my tears, my left eye hurt like hell, right above my eye below my eyebrow was a very large gash-- a scabbed wound from hitting my head off of the doorknob the night I was rushed to the hospital.

So, I was dead. Not for long, but it happened. And was completely eerie, knowing I actually had flatlined. I have little faith IN faith, so this to me was a big slap in the face. I have never been the same again.

After those 3 days, I had to spend 10 days in the upstairs 'nutward.' I met some interesting people, ate some food, which felt incredible. But, for the most part, I slept constantly. I was so exhausted, and had no life in me. But, I did manage to make three friends, regardless if it was for only a little while, and I realized, I am not alone! Really! Not in the same way, but in the same sh!tty place.

So, got out of there, learned my lesson. I returned to school, was the big talk, was put on campus probation, my roommates completely stirred and threatening me to no end about touching any cough medicine.

Since then, I have yet to touch any cough medicine. I tried for an actual cold twice, both times I have thrown up. That was with capsules, I can not even imagine smelling any Tussin's, etc. My aunt bought a bottle of a Cherry Vodka, it smelled just like the 'red' (aka Cherry) NyQuil, I decided I would try it anyway, I threw up all night after I tasted it, and it tasting just like that NyQuil.

Basically, I learned one hard lesson. I was a stone cold DXM addict. I used it from March of 2004 to January of 2007. That is almost a full 3 years.

However, I neglected to add in some other interesting points.

In February of 2005, I also began to have seizures. My Uncle was epileptic, but I had never had a single sign prior. I had 4 in 2 hours and was hospitilized. I was put on medication, fine, and later on a trip in Greece, I had another 2. I returned home and went to a new doctor. I had more, and they did not have a clue why. I was put under a two week observation in hospital, being attached to a EEG, 24-7. No showering, walking around. Just stuck in a small room with goog and cords attached to my head, awaiting a seizure. Finally on the eighth day, I had a session of seizures.

The team of doctors returned with the results and told me that I had a large sum of brain lesions (brain damage) that covered the temporal lobe. This was causing the seizures, and they didn't know why I had them, nor why the monitoring was unlike typical epilepsy. I knew why. But, I still didn't give a shit. This was March of 2006. So, now considered an Epileptic. No driving, all those good things.

So, in conclusion... Now, I have seizures, for life. My memory is complete crap. I ruined my last year of HS, which is supposed to be the best, on little red pills and all it's relatives, being depressed, suicidal, etc., also the big plus of probably never being able to relieve symptoms of a cold, forever.

It sucks, it hurts. I was so careless, and now being 20 and trying to get my life on track, things have never been so hard, and I have never felt like such a moron. As you grow older, you truly do get wiser. Every year outwitting the last, but at this point, I cry every once in a while when I get a nagging cold, when I get the start of a seizure, whenever I think of how people joke about death, how I did, how I wished upon dying from the suicide attempts. It is now no joke, I flatlined. That means they zapped my heart back into life, how you see on TV. That happened to me, and it is the strangest thing to imagine. I am always reminded of that 'outer-space keyboard' and 'white room with a dark blur to the right' all of the time. I am actually going to make a small photoshop of what those two views looked like, and if you desire to see them, email me at the link.

That is some crazy stuff. Whenever I walk into any store I bought or stole DXM products from, I look at that display and semi-smile, and am reminded of my stupidity and carelessness. It is almost funny how I used to shove all my pockets with a flattened box, or suck my stomach in to do the same. Whatever I was thinking...

Be safe, know your stuff, read up like crazy, and really, really, really remember, you can never be that sure of your limits, nor expand them so greatly. Your life may suck now (and that is why you do it) but it can suck even worse later, when you don't even do it.

Take care, everyone. Use your brain, don't fry it.

I was hospitilized with 1440 mgs in my system.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 64473
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 13, 2007	Views: 831
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DXM (22), Chlorpheniramine Maleate (164) : Hospital (36), Overdose (29), Health Problems (27), Retrospective / Summary (11)