I am a very uncertain person, and yesturday it just showed through so much. I was depressed, and I have a bit of a problem distinguishing the truth on how I feel about someone/something, especially when it came to love.
So I went over to my ex's house and drunk 1 and a half shots or so of 70 proof, and between 3 or 4 beers. I was pretty fucked up, I felt fantastic, it feels like DXM but without the dreamy feel of DXM, and not AS empatheogenic, but still empatheoginic. I was extremely minded at the time, and was hanging out with my ex, and just got a desire to tell her the truth, something I can not do when I’m sober. I felt that I made up my mind of how I felt about my ex, so I told her how I felt instead of what she wanted to hear, I was completely straightforward, honest, and blunt(though not rude). I find that I sugar coat things way too much when I’m sober, and when I’m drunk I see things as they really are and the curtains covering the truth are completely released. It's pretty amazing.
Somehow I wake up the next day, and I feel so much more understanding and I feel like I can take closure from her. I don't feel as dependent for her, and I just feel more independent, and very optimistic and enlightened to think of another road. A day before this experience I was terrified to think of no Tiff and was extremely clung to her, when I got drunk I saw all the flaws the way they ARE, I was not in denial of them, and I saw just how irresponsible it would have been to go out with her, etc.
