| DOSE: |
repeated |
oral |
Kratom
|
(tea) |
I've been frequently, but not continuously using kratom for the past month. Years ago, I had a religious infatuation with DXM that turned into a destructive habit. Also, several of my closest friends from high school became addicted to heroin and I have no desire to go through the physical problems of opiate dependence, so I am being careful not to become physically addicted and space my doses apart at a minimum of 48 hours.
However, I cannot forsee stopping my use any time soon. It's too damn useful. I see limited, disciplined kratom use as a reasonable way to compensate for life in urban america. I have committed myself to living alone in a city for a year where I know no one, and I toil 40+ hours a week at a physically difficult job. Without a supportive group of friends around, and without any ready access to nature, I feel that living completely sober here would drive me to serious depression/exhaustion/frustration.
With kratom in my arsenal, the wearing and dehumanizing process of life/work in a lonely metropolitan wasteland is made bearable. It provides me with a break from stress, and when I walk around under the influence, the urban sprawl takes on a special beauty and hidden meaning that isn't there when I'm sober. Kratom has more grace than any substance I've ever used. I feel so thankful to be alive when I'm high. My self esteem improves, my aesthetic perception is hightened.
The opiod/sedation effects are subtle but pronounced at 1-2 grams of extract (I make it into a tea and swallow all the sediment), with only a brief period of stimulation equivalent to a cup of coffee at the first half hour. The taste prohibits me from taking more. The best comparison I can make is that it makes me feel the way I felt when I was a small child and my mom held me. The next day is always easier to face. I've had more energy at work and generally feel more content as a person. I'm a nervous, anxious, dissatisfied mofo, and this helps, it just tips the scales in my favor.
