Citation: Psychanaught. "The Day I Should Have Died: experience with LSD, Ketamine, Cannabis & Nitrous Oxide (ID 55386)". Erowid.org. Oct 7, 2007. erowid.org/exp/55386
I had just got my hands on Ketamine for the first time. After a few Ketamine hazez I had decided that Ketamine was one of my favourite drugs, that is until the day I OD'd on Kay.
Monday afternoon began with a good friend of mine coming over to do some acid. I took 2 hits and he took one around 11.30. Shortly after I brought out the Kay and thought to myself 'I wanna get really high' so I poured out a large dose, the largest I have done so far, onto my table to snort. I snorted 2/3 of it and stopped to take a rest. At this point my friend thought I had left a third for him so he took the rest of my dose, I didn't mind as I had taken a lot anyway.
We had a really fun, relaxing trip for 6 hours. By this point we have smoked a few joints and done a few whippits of Nitrous. I had also eaten a lot of sugar and drank a lot of water. At around 6pm I was sitting in my sofa when I stood up to get something. As soon as I stood up my whole body went numb and I just dropped back onto the sofa. I couldn't move because I could barely stay conscious and this made breathing difficult as well. I shouted for my fried to 'Call the fucking ambulance, now!' because I knew something had gone horribly wrong. I was buzzing like never before, my whole body. My senses of my physical body were jumbled so I couldn't make out where my arms/legs were, I couldn't feel anything. At this point I was taking very deep and fast breaths in a panic. After around 5 minutes of this I started feeling normal again so I kept reassuring myself not to panic.
At this point my mouth was very dry so I stood up and drank some water. As soon as the water went down my throat, my heart started beating extremely fast. My friend then told me that I shouldn't eat or drink anything from the other room (as he was on the phone speaking with a 999 operator). What bad timing, why couldn't he have told me that 1 minute before. I dropped back down on the sofa and looked down at my hands, to my horror all the muscles in my body had tightened, speaking was hard now as my mouth wouldn't allow me to talk properly. By this point I really started freaking out as I had lost all senses in my body, my muscles were all tightened, my heart was beating abnormally fast and my body was buzzing like mad.
By around 6.30pm, I was convinced that my body would not be able to survive this 'shock' of excessive drugs, sugar and water. I get the horrible feeling that I am seconds away from death, what's even worse is the overwhealming buzzing of my body got worse and breathing became even more difficult. I knew my friend was qualified in first aid and CPR. I remember telling him something along the lines of 'You know CPR, just keep me alive'. I was begging god wishing not to die, not at the age of 19, not from a drug overdose. And here I am, my body buzzing more and more by the second, I am getting worse, I am going to die.
Being on LSD at the time deffinately didn't help, it made all of these negative feelings extremely negative and when I would say to myself, 'I'm going to die' my heart would start beating really fast, a horrible feeling of adrenalin kicks in as I take deep breaths sitting absolutely still praying. The first people to reach my house were the police. Now instead of checking my vitals and trying to keep me alive they start asking my name, date of birth and all the useless shit you can't afford to waste your time on when you're minutes away from death. In a moment of anger I shout 'What the fuck is the point when I'm about to die!' They then ask me why I took all these drugs. Sitting there, helpless, completely crippled and caught off-guard I just stare at the police officer, there is a moment of silence where I am judged by all these people which makes me feel really bad.
The ambulance arrives and the paramedics come. After telling them what has happened they tell me I need to walk into the ambulance. I manage to stand up with the help of 2 people. Completely disoriantated I step outside my house and into the back of the ambulance. My vision is so fucked I can't see anything beyond 2 meters. I also have double vision. The ambulance heads towards the hospital and by now I've realised that my senses are getting worse and the buzzing is getting heavier as breathing becomes even harder. I kept asking the paramedic, who was reading some charts, totally uninterested in caring for me, if I was going to die. Those people didn't reassure me at all and at the time when negative thoughts would send my heart into a spazm or something, that was all I wanted to hear. I tell the paramedic that I may wet myself as I didn't know if I could hold it in.
We're now in the hospital and on a bed when the doctor gives me 2 pills to swallow and takes some blood. I urinate 600ml. That's nearly 2 full coke cans of urine! My brother arrives and I feel really bad, barely aware of my body let alone what's happening around me. He was very heart-broken and disapointed after he heard that I nearly died from a drug overdose. My brother doesn't do any drugs and that made the whole situation even more awkward. The buzzing throughout my body kept getting worse and now my double vision only enabled me to see about 1 meter in front of me but it was too much effort even keeping them open. In my disorientated state, I mumbled 'Oh, what a haze', everything felt like a dream. Blood results came back clean and I stayed in the hospital for a few hours, just basically waited the trip out.
I've decided that, even though Ketamine is one of my favourite drugs, I won't be touching it anymore, because the margin for error is just too great. Also note: During the times where I had convinced myself I was about to die, all I could hear in the back of my head was the sweet melodic guitar riff from Intension, on Tool's 10,000 Days Album. That song now has a great meaning to me.
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