Citation: Kayne. "Religious Awakening: experience with Cannabis (ID 54761)". Erowid.org. Sep 4, 2007. erowid.org/exp/54761
At 3:30AM I was talking to my best friend, Julian, over the internet when he said he would brb. So I took this opportunity to smoke the last of my weed, the equvalent of maybe a little less than half a full bud of very potent, smelly marijuana, and to try out my newly made aluminum foil pipe. It worked like a charm. When I left my room and got back on the computer, I knew right away I was very very high, and in a few minutes would be higher than I ever had been previously. I warned Julian by telling him I was going to be level 20 soon (a little rating system we made up) which neither of us had ever reported being before. I had been a 14 before but never a 20.
I heard my dad stir and thought he was coming out and I shut off the screen walked to my room because I was supposed to be in bed. This is so I could work with them the next day. When I found everything was clear, I proceeded back out to the computer in the living room. When I started to walk, I realized that this high was very familiar. I recognized it as a high I had when I first started smoking recently, which was very intense. But it got way more intense than that. WAY more.
When I got back on to the computer, I remembered a video I had watched before smoking. It was called mushroom noise and was about psilocybin mushrooms. It had a psychedelic background on it, and when I watched it the first time while not high, it looked only like a bunch of moving panes of color and squares, no distinct picture. But it was very different the second time when I was high. Images imerged, obviously being a moving picture of a mushroom. They made it in a way that when the picture moved, it seemed like it was a hallucination, and not that it was really moving, but that your mind was only seeing it that way. Needless to say it amazed me. That is only the tip of the iceberg. Only the first inch of the tip of the iceberg.
I had read about mushrooms before, their effects and the pros and cons, and I decided to test what I was feeling compared to what I had read about the mushrooms. I double clicked my time icon at the bottom right of the computer screen to get the clock window. At this point, things were very wavy and seemed to be faintly moving and had periods of blurriness. What I found blew my mind and made me gasp very loudly several times. I could slow down the speed at which I percieved time. I told my friend Julian who was not high or under the influence of anything. As expected, he did not take this with such amazement that had come over me.
After this point, I found that I had many, many experiences, seeming to be in my mind, which disregarded time very much. It was as if time was only an Earthly restraint and I had risen into the plane of existence almost irrelevant to time. I tried to explain these things to my friend without much success. He read about these things happening to you when you eat mushrooms or lsd, but did not believe they could happen while high while on marijuana. At this point I decided to test my abilities on the same mushroom video I had watched before. I watched it again and this time watched the scrolling marquee (scrolling words and sentences) at the bottom of the screen. I read them like I had before I was high. They seemed to have much more distinct meaning and were more clear. I changed my perception to make the scrolling words slower. It worked. Then I tried to make them faster, and as if it was faintly fastforwarding like a VCR cassete tape, it also worked. When I was about 3/4 of the way through the movie (it was a 3 min 20 sec movie), I was launched into a transe, like I had been many times before while high.
This is where it starts to get strange. I have previously had maybe two genuine out of body experiences while not taking any drugs, one in which I was 3 feet above my body and actually saw my self laying down on the couch. Needless to say that also amazed me. Now when I have gone into 'high transes' before, there had always been the prospect of going out of my body. It was there. But it was not always easily accessible. It seemed to take more focus than I was giving or willing to give. But this time was very different. When I closed my eyes, I thought about the prospect of an OBE, and from that point on, I beleive I was not in my human body, but was being shown things.
I felt as though I was weightless floating through space and time throughout the blackness and unenlightenment of the Earthly human reality. I was being shown by what I percieved to be God an elaborate idea of the fundamentals of how we are and why we are here. I have always thought about these things in the past and wondered about them. I was shown a great place full of gassy colors of greens, light blues, blues, pinks, reds, and purples all strewn into lines wrapped around each other. I never entered this place but was only seeing it from the blackness of outside. This is what I percieved as heaven.
Then I was shown the idea of what I call, soul transmission or soul communication. I was shown an elaborate model of my soul being transmitted from this same gassy place, which was the enlightened universe, a place beyond current human perception - and into my human body, picked up by my brain. Then I saw the gassy place, which I percieved to be where you go when you die, definately a heaven, from a low birds eye point of view from an area of blackness, but not total blackness, which I percieved to be the human reality. It was in the near distance and I believed I could see the gates.
When I came back to what I'm calling human reality, 'the percieved real world' I looked at the clock and all of this had happened in a matter of at the most 10 - 15 minutes. It felt like so, so, much longer. This reminded me of what was read about psilocybin and lsd. Altered time perception. This made me believe I had a gift. I could achieve these enlightenments through only marijuana. Now I tried to explain the idea of soul transmission to Julian. I told him to picture the human brain as a circuit board, as computers have always been compared to the brain, given a very very weaker brain. I told him that sattelites can transmit information to the receptors on earth and use them in circuit boards, correct? He reluctantly said I guess and I asked him to think about our souls being transmitted from way beyond to our bodies to be picked up by our brains. Our brains are programmed to percieve this human reality.
I understood that there was so much more than what meets the eye. If I can tap into the power of my mind, not just my brain, but my mind and soul, I can go anywhere and do anything. Also at this point, this life seemed almost, unreal. Julian had the expected 'ur craaaazzy' and 'maybe you shouldn't smoke weed alone' comments. But I was convinced.
God had spoken to me and I had seen the gates of heaven. There was no other way to explain it. I felt as if what had happened to Abraham and Jesus had happened to me. And I felt as though I needed to spread the word of God. So I proceeded in trying to explain to my friend what made so much sense to me. In fact his non believing in God seemed appalling to me. I had seen the other side and known it to be great, glorious, and most of all, true. I had heard the voice of God, or maybe Jesus Christ. I tried so hard to persuade him to believe me and to believe in God and heaven. But it is much easier said than done. He was my best friend and was going to be forever and I knew that. I really didn't want anything bad to happen to him. All I must do is believe. This is God's grace. Grace means: A favor rendered by one who need not do so, indulgence. If I believe in God, and the fact that Jesus died to sanctify my sins and to allow me the ability to get into the kingdom of God, or heaven, then I may be with God and be in everlasting joy that is heaven.
My friend said he would brb and it was already 6 something in the morning, so I decided to go to bed. When I got up from the computer I felt completely changed. I felt like I knew so much more than previously, like I knew what I was doing on Earth. After praying and thanking God for everything under the sun and for giving me these enlightenments (I had not prayed previously before this event and felt it was time to start) I layed down.
Then I got to thinking. Deep thinking. I wanted my best friend dearly to believe. I saw a way in which he could. We had been talking about taking mushrooms about a month ago when I told him my dad could get them for me. With reluctance and after a lot of reading about them, he agreed. I had had a similar, maybe less powerful (even though it was extremely intense) trip as what I'd read about psilocybin mushrooms. One very distinct feature of a mushroom trip is religious awakening, which I had undoubtedly had, and I felt that if Julian ate the mushrooms, he too may have the experience and then he too would believe.
Then I thought about the ethics of drugs. I thought about the story of Adam and Eve. And there was only one thing I could think to do. I got out my bible. I read the first few pages in which it was edited to say 'What the bible says about Itself' and 'What the bible says about God' and heaven, etc. and under those headings it had verses which explain it. It was all in extreme clarity. Those same words I had read before this experience were so unclear and obscure unlike what I was reading now. It all made sense. It was like I had an insight into Christianity and needed to share it with the world.
After that I proceeded to read the part of Genisis about Adam and Eve. After I read it, I felt I was in Eve's position. I had seen the other side and had become wise. Do I share the fruit with my friend? Or do I just do everything in my power to convince him it was real and persuade him not to eat the fruit (the psilocybin mushrooms). I was unsure what to do. After that I closed the bible and looked in the mirror. There was something different about the human body now. It was more, unfimiliar, and looked pleasant to me. My blue eyes and my face looked very beautiful, which is pretty wierd.
But I now realized that this was not all there was. There was so much more to everything. There was a whole nother set of 'everything' we don't know about. Human perception on this Earth is not all there is. There are more perceptions, besides sight, noise, touch, smell, and taste. Drugs open the door to the other realities. It is now a dilema I must face. Am I supposed to share the fruit, or am I being tempted by the serpent like Eve? And should I protect my friend from eating the fruit? Everyone in church, yelling and screaming and praising God. I thought they could have been delusional like my friend thinks. They are not. Maybe they have seen the other side and the goodness of god as I had seen that morning. Maybe they are just taking someone else's word for it. I wish everyone would take my word for it, but I know it is not that easy.
The mind has the power to percieve different realities. I am able to do this because I am not just a human. I am not just flesh evolved from earlier single celled life forms. I am more. I was put on this Earth as a soul. My soul is put into this body and I become a human. I must become a soul again, or get in touch with my soul that this reality has made me lose touch with, and realize that there is so much more. And there is a God. There is a heaven. I am not just a meaningless lifeform. This life may be a test. Can I find God, and if I do can I believe? It is all said in the bible. If I believe that God sent his only son to die for my sins I will be allowed into heaven.
This is all I must do. I must genuinely believe that Jesus Christ, God's son, died for me on the cross in order to forgive my sins and allow me this way into heaven. I must put this number one in my life. I believe this because I have seen the other side. I have seen that this is not all there is. There is so much more. My misconceptions about reality is part of what I must work through. My mind is an extremely powerful thing. I'm not sure if drugs are the right way to realize it, but I must realize it. But most of all, I must put God number one in my life. I believe God has given me this gift of insight so I may help all of you believe and to get into heaven. I really believe all of this is true.
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