As GBL is available to me in large quantities at neglectable prices, I rapidly developed a quite disturbing addiction to it. The 1 L I bought in August of 2005 got emptied until Dec. 23rd - for nearly half a year I was on G all day every day. I first thought it would be a nice aid for falling asleep, as I've had sleeping disorders since I was a child. It soon turned out that the GBL induced sleep was over after about 3-6 hours depending on dose, leaving me completely awake in the middle of the night, making a redosing inevitable. Starting the day with a little G sounded good at first and soon I needed like 2.5 mL every 2-3 hours. Had I not got a dose I would be lacking self-confidence, my hands would tremble slightly, I would sweat and sometimes get extreme headaches that in one instance lasted the whole day.
In the beginning it was really a life enhancer for me, all the little things didn't bother me anymore and I was smiling most of the time, I was untypically talkative and I stopped judging my work-mates as I normally do. The conclusion was mostly that they'd suck and I'd want to be alone. As my consumption went on I just needed it to feel 'normal' and life began losing it's appeal. I sucked at work and made a few people get some rather negative impressions of me. At that time it was my only goal to just get home and take a dose that would knock me out for some hours in order to forget about all the shit most of my life had become.
One noticable incident happened at a Goa/PsyTrance party for which I had prepared by bringing enough fruitjuice to enable me drinking GBL-cocktails all the time. Strangely it seemed impossible to acquire some amphetamine so I rarely danced but I still had some unforgettable moments while I was sitting on the subwoofers of the main floor, seeing DJ Sabaii Sabaii if I turned my head left and the dancing crowd to the right in the morning sun surrounded by fog that rose from the meadows. Later that day a friend of mine called the paramedics when I collapsed on the way to my tent, loosing consciousness for half an hour, as I was told. I was transported to the hospital in the nearest town, and one of the guys kept asking me questions to try and keep me awake I guess.
Funny thing is, I really couldn't remember the exact date of my birth but I corrected him when he asked, if I'd taken GBH - I told him it was spelled GHB and even pronounced the chemical name of gamma-hydroxybutyric acid correctly. He asked me if I'd remember how much I'd taken but I just said I couldn't remember when I realized how stupid it would make me look if I told him the truth : 3.5 mL followed by 4 mL not quite 2 hours later. 3 mL was my normal dose at the time, well, kids, please don't try this at home (or anywhere). I was a bit frustrated with the stay in the hospital because they didn't give me anything but an NaCl infusion and they wanted €10 as fee while I was nearly broke. In retrospect it's really good to know I have friends that care for me when it looks like I'm in a serious condition, though I'm still convinced I could have just as well slept it out in my tent.
Well, it came Dec. 23rd and the seemingly endless supply from the 1L-bottle had shrunk to merely 1.7 mL - my last dose so far. The funny thing was, once the GBL was gone, I had no urge to get it a new, which I could have done at any time, I just accepted the fact that it would be over now and again learned what the real world feels like and after the first day without, which I spent in bed watching TV, I started to like seeing the world with sober eyes. I developed a normal life within a week and think I gained some popularity among the people I need to deal with every day. This lasted for pretty accurately 3 months, when I got another 500 mL GBL. The first two weeks were much like what had happened last year but I thought that wasn't worth it and reduced my consumption drastically. I only take it during the nights now and sometimes in the afternoon if it was a stressful day but I leave home and go to work sober.
I'm now on holidays and don't put any restrictions on my drug use (including GBL). So a few days ago I was hanging around in the flat of a guy I briefly knew from over half a year or so ago, with a bunch of other people who all share a passion for drugs. A guy showed up, sold us some amphetamine pills and weed. Soon the already ongoing discussions about any drug-related topic gained intensity and the evening stretched out till it was nearly noon the next morning, which was when I decided to leave.
The host was a 30 year old who'd been on heroin for 8 years and managed to get back from the gutter to a life with a flat, work and friends. He didn't touch H for the last 8 years but still likes to use his old connections for acquiring some of the stronger benzodiazepines, which he (correctly as I think) values as emergency remedies in case an LSD trip or similar turns really unbearable. I never had much interest in downers but was quite excited when he said he had some Flunitrazepam and I bought 5 x 1 mg for €2 each.
When I arrived at home it must have been like 10 hours since I took the last amphetamine and I thought one of the Rohypnols would kick me into bed. But after 45 minutes nothing really had happened and I ingested another one. I tried shortening the waiting period by putting together a list of all the drugs that I'd ever consumed but still I was not one bit calmer so I ingested the third pill, waited 20 minutes and got a quite frustrated. So I decided to crush the remaining two and snort them but there just didn't seem to be any effect. Only when I added a very small dose of GBL to that mix everything worked out as advertised, I suddenly awoke in front of my PC looking at the list I had put together finding things like acetaminophen and meaningless combinations of letters in there. That was the point when I decided it was time to go to bed and I slept for like 10 hours.
Having discussed this with my pals the only conclusion we came up with is that there probably is a cross tolerance between GHB and benzodiazepines, which wouldn't be too surprising taking into account they both interfere with the GABA system.
