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Sometimes It's My Mistake
Diphenhydramine (Benadryl)
Citation:   Thisweekstrend. "Sometimes It's My Mistake: An Experience with Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) (exp49149)". Erowid.org. Jun 25, 2007. erowid.org/exp/49149

 
DOSE:
600 mg oral Diphenhydramine (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb
I’m 16 years old, my drug experience includes psilocybin mushrooms a few times, DXM about 20 times ranging from 300-800mg doses, marijuana for about half a year, nitrous on several occasions, 5meoDMT once, MDMA once, and alcohol once in a while. I had tried benadryl before at 200mg, and 400 mg. 200 wasn’t much of anything except a few visual distortions, mood lift, and moderate relaxation. I tried 400 one night and saw a few objects that weren’t there, discoloration of the walls and carpet, could hear music playing if I concentrated really hard and felt really strange and quite heavy. I ended up falling asleep after like an hour, and feeling refreshed the next morning.

Being quite confident in my ability to remain calm and see a bad trip as a learning experience if one were to happen, I decided to take 600mg of benadryl. at was roughly 9 PM and After taking all 24 of the pills with a bottle of water (6 at a time since theyre quite small) I put some music on my computer and talked on AIM while waiting for effects to start. 15 minutes after ingestion I noticed I felt extremely tired, it seemed like if I could choose between sex with 20 supermodels, or lying in bed, I would have passed out in bed in a second. (I’m not gay, just trying to illustrate how tired I felt.).

After around 30 minutes dry mouth set in, I drank two bottles of water in a vain attempt to clear this up. After accepting that the drymouth was here to stay I noticed what looked like huge black objects jumping in the corners of my vision. I’d immediately look to see that there was nothing there, than direct my attention back to my screen. After about the 4th instance of this I noticed that my walls looked like there were huge blobs of jelly moving slightly upon them. I paid attention to this for a while, and noticed odd patterns. I got up and realized I had to go the bathroom, keeping my balance was a challenge and I had to hold onto my desk and walls to get myself into the bathroom. It felt as if I were 400 pounds heavier. I stumbled into my bathroom and after taking a short piss, noticed a small red spider in my sink. I had seen these before in my moms room and tried to wash it away with the faucet.

It seemed that the water wasn’t doing anything so I grabbed a CD that was on top of my desk and came back into my bathroom. That’s when I noticed there were multiple small red spiders. I scraped the CD against them and it seemed like they were dead, but the bodies remained there for the rest of the night. By this time my heart was pounding like mad and I looked at myself in the mirror to notice my pupils were the size of pennies. I couldn’t help but glance back into the sink and noticed that there were even more of the aforementioned spiders crawling around. (around 50 or so). I almost freaked, I franticly tried to kill them with the CD and turned the water on in hopes that the bodies would disappear but they wouldn’t. It seemed like the spiders would die when I crushed them with the CD, but the bodies wouldn’t wash away, or disappear.

I decided to turn the light off and go back into my room. By this time my thoughts were very strange. Anytime I’d try to think about something my thoughts would come out as a conversation in my head. I cant remember exactly but in trying to analyze what had happened in the bathroom, my minds voice spoke to me like this 'oh my god were those real or what, I’m not sure but I know they cant hurt me, hey what if I go back there and they aren’t gone, I don’t know but I wonder what they’ll look like tomorrow morning when I wake up' Anytime id try to comprehend what I was seeing, my thoughts would flow in this fashion and usually end up with me responding to my thoughts outloud, which was really unnerving.

Imagine sitting alone in your room randomly saying, 'yeah I bet' or 'I hope not' and then feeling insane, realizing there’s no one there. Anyways, after sitting down at my computer I noticed nothing was the same, I felt disconnected from almost everything. Playing games on the internet didn’t seem to interest me, every time I tried playing a song, it would end up getting on my nerves after around a minute, and I really wasn’t sure what I would be enhanced by the drugs effects. This was all irrelevant, soon the hallucinations started becoming somewhat overwhelming.

The following illusion happened multiple times, I would look at my carpet and notice hundreds of red pills in a small flat pile, if I focused on them another pile would manifest itself closer to me, this would continue until I was looking straight down at the side of my chair. Small rectangular pink pieces of paper would dance around like worms near my door, than crawl under and disappear. These would show up almost every time I glanced at my door.

After about an hour and a half I became quite scared. I knew deep down nothing was real, but I couldn’t help my self from feeling terrified. By this time almost every surface I would look at would have these small white eggs randomly placed on it. If I didn’t look away within 5-10 seconds legs would sprout from them and a slightly bigger spider would be there. I wasn’t really scared until I tried to crush these 'spiders'. I would push my finger down as hard as I could but they would not die. Thankfully there were never more than 2 or 3 of these in my field of vision at a time. I tried looking at areas that were farther away, rather than close because I figured I wouldn’t be able to notice the spiders if they weren’t right in front of me.

Possibly the strangest hallucinations came next, all sorts of 3 dimensional objects would appear on the ground and walls. They were all completely see-through and seemed as if they were just bubbles in the shape of things such as trash cans, cages, bottles, and little cars. The 'bubbles' would move slightly back and forth but the objects would not get closer or farther away from me. One of the most unnerving hallucinations were the flying insects. I noticed a few bees, small moths, and strange looking pieces of paper flying in my room. I was never able to keep my eyes on one of them for more than 30 seconds and it wasn’t at all comforting thinking there could be a hornet somewhere in my room. These flying entities never made noise but I would notice one of them at least once every ten minutes or so.

The last time I remember seeing a clock was at 11 PM after then I lost complete track of time, and became quite irrational. By this time trying to keep myself occupied and away from the chaos that would manifest itself in my room was in complete vain. Reading anything online made my head hurt, I couldn’t concentrate on computer games as if I did look at the screen for a while, I would see a large shadow in the corner of my eye and notice any one of the aforementioned hallucinations after breaking my stare with the screen. A few minutes after these attempts I decided to shut my computer down. The noise of the fan was getting on my nerves and the blinking lights on my tower would change into a variety of colors even though they could only blink green. By this time I had lost all hopes of enjoying myself and sought only to stop my trip. I figured I either had to eat something, which would bring me back to normal when I smoked or drank. Or to sleep through the remainder of the drugs plateau.

Although my mom was asleep in her room, I figured I had to risk going downstairs to try and eat something. More than anything I just wanted to get back to normal. After trying to think of some pleasant thoughts I opened my room door to reveal my pitch black hallway. Again I reminded myself that nothing I see can hurt me, and stumbled downstairs holding the rail for balance. I walked into my kitchen and turned on the small light above the stove which revealed half dozen multicolored packages/boxes with some kind of asian looking writing on them near the refrigerator. It took me a second to even comprehend what I was seeing. Outloud I said 'wow, what the hell' then quickly realized a few things. My moms room wasn’t very far away, I shouldn’t be speaking outloud to myself at 11something at night, I would not be able to keep it together if she were to come into my room or downstairs, and that there were three, unmoving, shadowy people sitting in the couch in my living room (I live in a somewhat small apartment so the kitchen and living room aren’t separated) all with their heads facing the 62 inch TV in the corner.

I turned around and as quick as I could, hit the light, and walked upstairs and closed my door. (rather loudly which again wasn’t a good idea) By now I started thinking I had overdosed or something but calmed myself down thinking something like 'if you did wake your mom up, you don’t want her to see you freaking out in the middle of the night, & if you did overdose you’d be unconscious or dead so just be quiet and try to go to sleep.' Trying to follow my own advice I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Realizing the light was still on, and I was no longer drowsy (probably due to all the adrenaline my body must have produced). Before getting up to turn the light off I looked into my TV (which was off) and saw a reflection of my room which was normally there when the TV was off and the room was light.

Then I imagined what turned out to be the most disturbing hallucination of the night. My dresser which could be clearly seen in the TV screen seemed to have a young boy on it rocking back and forth. As I looked closer I saw two cats where the lamp should have been. The cats seemed to be touching each other with their paws, they turned into copies of the original boy and started rocking back and forth in unison with him. My heart started racing and I turned the TV on as fast as I could and got up to turn the light off without looking near my dresser. I walked over to my bed and saw some sort of centipede in a cage at the base of the fan next to my bed.

By this time I was completely freaked out and irrational so I took off my shirt and threw it over where I thought the cage was. I slowly lifted it off the ground to reveal nothing there. The comfort and relief I experienced was short-lived though. After pulling back my sheets another thought consumed me. 'what if there are spiders/people/whatever in your bed' After closing my eyes and thinking what to do I figured just to go in as fast as I can. Thankfully this was successful and I didn’t feel anything touch my body while under the covers.

After remembering about the little boys I quickly looked at my dresser which had the normal lamp and stack of books on it. Feeling relieved I laid back and tried to focus my attention on the TV which was playing some random infomercial about food preparation. I wondered where the remote is but didn’t want to get up and turn the light back on to look for it. A few times I thought I saw insect legs coming up from the end of my bed, but every time this happened I would close my eyes and concentrate on what was being said on TV. They would be gone when I looked back. I fell asleep after what seemed like 4 hours of watching the same infomercial, but was probably like 40 minutes or so.

I woke the next morning still feeling really disconnected from my surroundings. The TV was still on and I spent about 3 hours in bed recalling my experience and thinking about what had happened the night before. I tried to see some purpose to the things I saw, but couldn’t come up with much of anything. I have a mild phobia of spiders, but not to any of the other bugs.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 49149
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 25, 2007Views: 22,973
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Diphenhydramine (109) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)

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