In 1998 while in college, I experienced my first panic attack. It happened actually in a very calm and serene moment, I was very happy and was about to go to bed with my girlfriend. That’s when it hit me, my mind was racing faster then I could handle it, I started sweating, feeling nauseous, like I had lost my mind. I was convinced I went insane. I couldn’t sit still so I got up and drove over 100 miles to one of my work sites just to try and shake it off. After an exhausting night I got home and was mentally paralyzed at what had just happened to me. My grades were horrible that quarter as you can imagine.
After about 2 years trying to do research and learning about my illness – The hardest part was trying to figure out what I exactly had, and to un train my natural aversion to mental illness. I bought books, read articles on the internet, tried to exercise, eat healthy, sleep adequately etc. I also tried to take alternative drugs to heal myself (St. John’s Wort, Tea, meditation, breathing exercises etc) Eventually after 2 years of painful bouts of panic attacks – it seem to go away.
One day at work during a meeting I had this uncontrollable urge to urinate, and no matter what I did it seemed to not go away. I had to excuse myself from work numerous times and I knew people were confused. Embarrassed I just told them that I was taking allergy medication and it made me have bowel problems. At this point I knew that I had to seek professional help.
I went to see a Doctor and he prescribed me Paxil. Thank God, it worked immediately – all the problems went away.
The biggest problem about it is I may very well be on it for life. It’s not cheap either $133 for 30 25mg pills. I have been on it now for 3 years and I think I might be on it for life. Anytime I stop taking it, I start to feel the panic come back. Also if you miss a dose I get bad headaches and nausea. But considering this drug probably saved my life – I will not complain.
Thanks
