Citation: Calmer. "Weakness of Will: experience with Citalopram (Celexa), Syrian Rue & 5-MeO-DMT (ID 48704)". Erowid.org. Aug 19, 2006. erowid.org/exp/48704
For the last 6 years, Iíve been on and off (mostly on) several different SSRIís for depression/anxiety, which makes sense considering the history of mental illness in my family. Now, Iíve only been able to successfully treat my depression with two medicines: Effexor and Celexa, and since Effexor caused me constipation and actually increased my anxiety, I opted for the libido-bashing Celexa.
I hate taking medicines. I hate pill-popping. I hate the side effects. And I REALLY hate wasting my time in therapy crying on about nothing with nothing in my head and nothing bothering me but the annoyance of being miserable and acutely mean to people I care about.
Miserable while I know too well how lucky I am in life. Thatís why I take 60mg of Celexa every morning. I would take less, but I canít even manage on 55mg.
Recently I asked my girlfriend to roll a joint I had prepared with some junk weed and approximately 30mg of 5-MeO-DMT sprinkled evenly on top. I would roll it myself, but I canít. Physically canít.
Being the nice sitter she is, my girl joined me on the deck where I smoked half of the spliff while lying back in a lawn chair. Unlike the usual gym sock stink of burning 5-MeO-DMT, this time the smoke reminded me of corn tortillas. Weird.
Winter sky. I stared up at the skeleton-like trees. The more I smoked the heavier my body felt. Even in the dark, subtle lines and colors began to poke out with beautiful clarity. The closed-eye visuals were not there. Darkness like with the 2C-Ďs. I tried to force a CEV trip with no successÖsomething thatís easy for me on DXM.
I imagine I would have experienced more visual effects if I had been off of my SSRI for the appropriate 3-day minimum. Itís a bitch to do, but I find that 6 to 8 days is the ideal vacation time from my anti-depressants in order to get a proper trip off of the usual doses of LSD, MDMA, psilocybin, and other like drugs. Still, going into a trip stressed and depressed is the WORST IDEA.
Since the trip was weak and over in about 20 minutes, on the following Saturday afternoon, I decided on that I would extend the life of the remaining half joint with the aid of an MAOI. I wonder what the tolerance is like on this 5-MeO-DMT
THE POLY-DRUG PROBLEM
I have experienced a few days of the milder symptoms of Serotonin Syndrome, when I combined Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds with Syrian Rue.
Surely itís smarter to simply get off the SSRI or tricyclic antidepressants for a week before taking any MAOI, but making well thought-out decisions frequently isnít my strength.
Iíve found that I can safely take a tablespoon or 9g of fresh Syrian Rue (approximately 200-600 mg Harmala, assuming a 4% MAOI alkaloid content of dry weight seeds). Itís my safety threshold, and I have never exceeded it while on Celexa. Once again, if I were smart, I would have taken a week or two off of the SSRI.
Okay, itís a gorgeous Saturday afternoon. I have an empty stomach and about 5 hours to burn with no responsibilities and an empty house. I measure out a tablespoon of Rue and chop it to a powder in a coffee grinder, carefully trying my best not to inhale that funky, nauseous, toffee smell. I empty out several 1000mg Vitamin C gel tabs and fill them with the brown powder. After two glasses of water, the tabs are gone. Now I would have done a proper ascorbic acid extract, but the mere thought of breathing in the bitter stank of boiling RueÖ Ack! Ack!
I sit down on the couch, play a video game, and in about an hour or so, I begin to feel the lethargic drawl of the Harmala. I save the game, grab the joint, and head to the backyard. I lie down in the grass. I light up and start some more tree staring.
Now this is definitely differentÖ Branches begin to shimmer and wiggle as I focus my eyes. Fallen leaves drift back and forth on the lawn as if the blades of grass were gently moving tides. My weight feels heavier than even before, like Iím anchored to the soil. I begin to notice various insects. Bugs crawling everywhere! Creatures everywhere!!! I had no idea how truly alive my backyard was.
Time passes quickly. Iím guessing 40 minutes had passed after the half-joint had been burned down to an empty roach. I spent the following hour and a half calmly listening to some gansta rap. Limited subject material but the metaphor and turn of phrase feels plenty fun to dissect.
Anyway, the trip tapered off after a total of about 3 hours, and physical and mental fatigue ensued for the rest of the evening.
These last couple of trips has taught me that patience and respect must be given in ample amounts to hallucinogens.
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