Just recently while visiting friends during the Holiday Season, one offered to let me try his antidepressant medication to help me sleep. There wasn't any reason for me to refuse, so I took it. I slept well the first night (the only night I took it), but had very frightening, God-awful nightmares the next. The dream started off with myself running from someone up in an Army base around Barstow. This part makes good sense, considering my father's girlfriend's ex-husband (suspect of kidnapping and possibly murdering her) is stationed up there. There wasn't anything bad at this time happening, particularly.
It was at the time that I arrived down in my area that things became fucked. In a totally unfamiliar setting the person chasing me was in the process of hacking people up. I was overseeing the slaughter. Bodies being chopped in half, limbs and heads everywhere with blood and organs from still living people lying around them. All of this being done with an ancient military axe of mystical resonance. This however wasn't the worst part. In the midst of all the slaughtering there were people fucking and moaning in ecstasy. Moans of pleasure and screams of agony were competing in volume as a new twisted sound became evident. The sound of children playing came first, then with them running and playing around this muck.
None of this in particular bothered me, and I guess that's why I found this so horrible. I was totally detached from all emotion or say in what was going on. How my mind managed to create this disgusting scene I don't know, but I wonder what inspired it. A reflection of the depravation of the condition the world is in today, perhaps. Maybe a look at what God sees, all at once. Unspeakable injustices and mutilations accompanied by the innocence of children and ecstasy of making Love? I don't know. It really was all just a bad dream. Just a bad vibe from the medicine. Neurotransmitters misfiring, whatever guess you buy into. It's out there. Chaos is collective. God is Collected.
